Show, don't tell / when to show, when to tell

[D4isuke]

I was confused over writing a narrative paragraph. Sometimes, I study 5 types of narrative paragraph, and guess what, "Show, don't tell" is really much confusing yet helpful rule. When I first heard this rule, I always stick to how I describe the situation in five senses, which is kinda ironclad for me to render how the situation happen.

For example: Here came the night sky with no starry bits. The nightmarish cloud concealed the moonlight, although the shimmering rays still refracted through the obstacles. The smoky smell from the kitchen pleased the noses of the hunger. The chime of the clock had hit with the first hand at somewhere left. Their stomach was growling until the cook served the dishes. (Excerpt from the Trap and Fade: The Worst Fantasy Chapter 5).


This is in the first paragraph within the chapter that I described the environment and situation. It's pretty much of my style to start the background check. Good thing is that "Show, don't tell" sticks to my mind whenever I write how it happens. Based on the link from the very paragraph of this thread, this is basically the Descriptive Narrative - creating settings.

Another example: All he had left was his apartment and 5,000 yen—after he spent for sole necessities while Akari went for her leisurely, joyous tour. She told him that her destination was London since the fortunes from industrious income benefited her with millions worth plus the advertisements. Although he couldn't blame her for an enormous fortune, he instead questioned himself about his rotten luck. (Excerpt from the Trap and Fade: The Worst Fantasy Prelude 4)

So this is the paragraph which basically "tells" about what and how the situation explained through the eye of this "self-insert MC" of mine. This is my another style to render the thoughts within the MC or any "core" character. Whenever the "Show, don't tell" sticks to my mind, I always feel guilty because once again it's an ironclad to me. Was I info-dumping about his situation? Or is it good thing that I inform the readers about his situation behind-the-scene? The answer is: I don't know, but at least I told my readers to create a sensible understanding to this occurrence. Anyways, based on the link, this is the Viewpoint Narrative - tells about his insights/subjective reflection.

Another thing, I watched some Brandon Sanderson: Plotting lecture, and he told not to stick the "Show, don't tell" rule as always because it will just become immensely questionable. And instead, he corrected it: When to show, when to tell , which is quite convenient to write whenever and however I want on behalf of my style. If I stick to just "Show, don't tell", it might feel discomfort for me and... readers probably... to render the immersion for a certain fiction.

That's it, I don't have much to say, but "Show, don't tell" isn't always the ironclad rule of writing a fiction since you can complete the "outsides" and "insides" of every element of the story, and also, this is just my subjective concept, so feel free to agree or argue whenever you want.

 

[C.Sunlight]

To add on another thing to what you've said, no matter how good your figurative language is, eventually people will get tired of reading riddles. The key, I think, is to only use showing on people/things that have relavance to the situation at hand.

Like, if you're describing the environment, tie it into the story; 'As the golden sphere sunk below the horizon, the rural village alongside its guardians of bark and pine were drenched in darkness. Peering eyes of bright yellow stared down. The night was their playground.

Slowly, the creatures of the night came out to play, rather eager to sink their fangs into foolish prey who dared to enter their territory.

That was what should have happened, anyway.

There were no wolves, or owls, or nocturnal creature of any kind. The surroundings were quiet. Too quiet.

Something was wrong.'

Basically like that. ?

 

[SwirlyUnicorn]

To add on another thing to what you've said, no matter how good your figurative language is, eventually people will get tired of reading riddles. The key, I think, is to only use showing on people/things that have relavance to the situation at hand.

Like, if you're describing the environment, tie it into the story; 'As the golden sphere sunk below the horizon, the rural village alongside its guardians of bark and pine were drenched in darkness. Peering eyes of bright yellow stared down. The night was their playground.

Slowly, the creatures of the night came out to play, rather eager to sink their fangs into foolish prey who dared to enter their territory.

That was what should have happened, anyway.

There were no wolves, or owls, or nocturnal creature of any kind. The surroundings were quiet. Too quiet.

Something was wrong.'

Basically like that. ?

I do agree with what C.Sunlight said I also use the show not to tell part when I am creating images or descriptions with figurative language :

Example : The rain came from all directions, like music from radios on a crowded beach


Another thing is when establishing conflict in a narrative . because conflict can represent the character's internal struggles which is also connected in setting the mood

Example : desert
If you wanna say that the desert is an inviting place you may describe it in a positive way ( rich golds of the sunset, atoms of mesquite fire, etc. ) if you want to do the opposite you could say these descriptions : sharp needles of cacti, parched streamed. Etc.

 

[gaylolis]

the only thing i can show are a bunch of text, since i'm too lazy to draw.

 

[amethystore]

I always tell. Because I can not show them anything aside from bunches of text. And I don't know how to show it to them. I can't ..., I really can't get it, why I must show when I can't do it. Thus, I always just want to stick with tell!

 

[BenJepheneT]

When I think of "show, don't tell", I don't think of it as literal. I use "show, don't tell" not to be descriptive, but to elicit emotion.

Say rain: I don't go out of my way to describe rain without using the word rain. I don't do pretentious shit like cold droplets descended from the sky. If there's no purpose into describing things like a Frenchman, I simply say it's starting to rain.

If anything, I only use "show, don't tell" when I need to display a certain emotion that is otherwise incapable to be encapsulated in a single word.

Say if I want to describe the feeling of lonely sadness in a desolate world uncaring of your feelings. You could say his tears were washed away by the rain, drenching his sorrow in a cruel, inhuman chill. That's where you can use "show, don't tell". Instead of simply saying "he felt sad and lonely under the rain" you can describe certain things to further amplify the emotion you want your readers to be feeling.

 

[C.Sunlight]

I always tell. Because I can not show them anything aside from bunches of text. And I don't know how to show it to them. I can't ..., I really can't get it, why I must show when I can't do it. Thus, I always just want to stick with tell!

If you're having trouble, rather than thinking of it as showing something... Write a description of something using the five senses (i.e. taste, sight, smell, touch, hearing). Think about what the rain would feel like on your skin, the texture of a freshly baked loaf of bread, the sound of... Well, a scream (I can't do all good things, lol).

From there, just write a bunch of dramatic poetry while using that as your baseline. Like for instance, if you choose the feel of the rain as your base, then you can go from 'It rained' to 'Light beads of rain fell down upon my skin.'

Now that you have your baseline, you can add the dramatic poetry after it. 'Light beads of rain fell down upon my skin. It felt like silk ladden threads from the heavens, washing and purifying everything in their wake. Cleaning up the sins of man.'

If you want to get extra spicy, then you can add in another sense like 'The pitter patter of rain resounded in the eardrums of man.'

I'm not really an expert, to be honest. Hopefully that helps a little bit. This isn't the only way to do it either, but it should be a decent process to keep in mind while writing.

 

[Discount_Blade]

Show dont tell is near useless advice since by the very act of storytelling.. .its literally in the name....you are TELLING a story.

Like that pitter patter rain example....you can't show a pitter patter of rain. You tell it. You can imagine the sound, but you could do the same thing with less word flair. Still never did SHOW me the pitter pattering of rain. Because that's not how that word works.

And the using the five senses is an even worse example if showing. Your still TELLING me what it feels, smells, looks etc., like from MC POV. Not showing. Show and dont tell is one of the most overblown, archaic pieces of writing advice that people still subscribe to.

And for the hardliners who insist, choose another word besides Show. Its disingenuous.