Short story

Nevafrost

A stupid and foolish daughter
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I know that short stories aren’t much of a SH thing. But I wrote one and I'm not sure if it's even a short story. I don’t have much experience in writing short stories. I have written only one before for the school magazine. I would like to know how to improve writing short stories.
It started raining when I was walking back home. I took shelter under a roof at a convenience store. 'Did I have to forget my umbrella, especially today?' The rain slowed down a bit, so I decided to set out again. I took the shorter route, which I usually don’t take, as it goes through the infamous forest. That road was eerily empty, but I didn’t mind it much. Suddenly, I heard some people arguing inside the forest. The best I should have done was mind my own business, but my curiosity got the best of me, and I slowly went nearer to clearly see what was happening. And what I saw was something out of this world: a dozen fairies gathered together.
"Rae, I told you we shouldn’t have left the palace today. It's raining."
"Don't shout. What if the humans hear us?"
"They wouldn’t. Even if they did, they wouldn’t see us anyway."
"We should still be careful."
I couldn’t believe what I was seeing. 'Fairies are real? Well, they don't look like they are cosplaying. Those wings look ethereal. Oh! I should run.' I ran as fast as possible. But the gist of it was that I had just witnessed something I shouldn’t have. I got back home breathless. Mom told me to come down for dinner once I was done taking a shower. Dad turned the TV on.
"Mysterious things are happening in the old town. Residents have informed that they have noticed supernatural beings roaming around."
Dad changed the channel.
"These news channels are always spreading misinformation!" I quietly left for my room. 'At first, I thought it might be a hallucination, but honestly, I'm scared now. Should I tell someone? But who would believe me?' I stood near the window. The rain had stopped. The doorbell rang; it kept ringing, but no one opened the door. So, I went down to get the door. A beautiful lady with a gorgeous smile stood there. 'Lady Arabella, I have news for you.' She handed me a piece of old parchment. 'To: The future Queen of Faeland.'
HUH!
"What's so special about this?" I didn’t even realize when I returned home as I was deep in thought about the specs in my hand. I had just bought these from the underground alleyway in the town. That place is full of burglars and thieves, indeed. But it’s a pretty interesting place for curious people like me, as a matter of fact. So, I went there today as well, hoping to find something interesting. Well, I did find something. When I was walking through the crowded alleyway, I saw a man standing there with distant eyes. His scruffy beard and messy hair made him look really exhausted. I walked up to him, driven by my curiosity. He suddenly looked puzzled as he saw me and took off his scrappy glasses, which I hadn’t noticed before. Then, everything happened so quickly that I couldn’t even comprehend it well. I bought those specs, which were relatively useless, on a whim. Why did I lose those 5 bucks for those unusable pieces of nonsense? Did he bewitch me or something? Well, I returned to reality and took the specs out of my hoodie pocket and observed them for some time. He said that these specs are special in some sort of way. Was that true? "Well, I won't know until I try these on." So, I put the specs on. They were slightly tilted to the right. I tried in vain to fix them. Whatever, my vision was kind of blurry. Quite unexpectedly, I heard a loud scream from the outside. I rushed out of my room without even thinking twice. I was standing in the center of our dining room when I saw Lena standing in the kitchen, her eyes grown abnormally wide. The look of terror on her face was pretty obvious. "Lena, what's the matter?" "He-here, lo-look look at he-here!" she was practically trembling with fear. She pointed toward something I couldn’t see from my position, her finger shuddering. I walked into the kitchen without a second thought, and what I saw was the most ghastly scene that had ever met my eyes. A blood-covered body lying on the floor, the face unrecognizable. The limbs couldn’t be told apart. Mom! A deadly silence took over Lena's gasping. I didn’t know when she fainted. My head was spinning; I felt dizzy. Suddenly, a sense of common sense shook my conscience. I slowly glided toward my mom's body. I gently put my finger under her nose to check for breathing. No. Neither the carpal tunnel of her wrist nor the carotid artery of her neck were willing to give me any hope. I stood up with a blank mind. I took out my phone. Before I could decide what I should do, my phone started ringing. "Dad" flashed on the screen. An unfamiliar voice rang in my ear as I picked up. "Is this Elijah speaking?" I couldn't make out what to say, "Ye...yes. I'm Elijah." It didn’t occur to me that I should ask why someone else was talking to me with my father's phone. "It's O.C. George Tennal speaking. This phone was found in Mr. James Smith's car. Do you know him?" What an ironic twist of fate! "Yes, he is my father." "We are extremely sorry to let you know that we found your father's body in his car. We ask you to contact us at Brooklyn Police Station." Brooklyn? But we live in Manhattan, and he works here; he left home today to go to work. My conscience struck me again. I told him about the situation at home. He told me to contact the local police station. I did so, time passed. I was sitting on a bench at the police station with Lena. Then we were called in and told that Mom and Dad were taken to the central hospital. They told us that we could see them if we wanted to. We were on our way home to the hospital after a few moments. Mom and Dad were lying on stretchers in front of the morgue. Lena started sobbing, soon wailing. Men are taught not to cry. But who was going to prohibit my eyes from crying? I was too vulnerable to play that role. My eyes soon got blurry, and it felt like they were on fire. The veins in my eyes seemed to be tearing apart at a million per second speed. I felt all my exhaustion reaching my knees and weighing them down. I broke down on my knees. My fate seemed to be having fun.
I was sitting on a hospital bench with Lena resting her head on my shoulder. I stared out the hospital window. Dawn was almost breaking. I could hear the mourning chirping, or so it seemed to me, of some bird in the distance. A cruel silence prevailed all around. A few doctors and nurses passed by now and then. I felt a jolt as I saw a familiar silhouette at the end of the corridor. He is there! That man from the alleyway. I came to my senses. I stood up in a rush and scurried towards him without a second thought. But suddenly, he disappeared into the crowd. I stood there, bewildered and overwhelmed by too many thoughts. I bumped into someone and slammed onto the floor hard. I raised my head and saw those glasses lying in front of me. I looked around and realized I was in my own room, sitting in my chair. Beside me was Lena, standing and frowning at me. "I have been calling you for ages. Dinner is ready! Mom's calling you," she turned around and disappeared out of my sight. Are they really just specs?
 
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Omarfaruq

Cute, polite and poor boy
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Your story strikes a perfect balance between humour and tension.
I’m a new writer, so I can't spot flaws here onee-sama.
 

Nevafrost

A stupid and foolish daughter
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Your story strikes a perfect balance between humour and tension.
I’m a new writer, so I can't spot flaws here onee-sama.
Nah, brotha, I'm more amateur than you-nya. And, I literally have zero knowledge about short stories which is why I made this thread.
Since, no one is answering, lemme summon @Eldoria The Great :blob_evil_two:. Pardon the disturbance but could you share your knowledge-nya?
 

Eldoria

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Nah, brotha, I'm more amateur than you-nya. And, I literally have zero knowledge about short stories which is why I made this thread.
Since, no one is answering, lemme summon @Eldoria The Great :blob_evil_two:. Pardon the disturbance but could you share your knowledge-nya?
I'm just a casual reader... what feedback do you expect? I might be able to write feedback but I'm not sure... what kind of feedback do you need to help your writing? :blob_aww:

 

Nevafrost

A stupid and foolish daughter
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I'm just a casual reader... what feedback do you expect? I might be able to write feedback but I'm not sure... what kind of feedback do you need to help your writing? :blob_aww:

Feedback? I'm not even sure if it's even a short story lol. Is it? Does it have everything that's required in a short story?
 

Eldoria

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Feedback? I'm not even sure if it's even a short story lol. Is it? Does it have everything that's required in a short story?
No matter how long or short the writing is... if your writing tells a certain story that has elements of character, worldbuilding, plot and conflict... then that is the minimum standard for being called a story.
 

Omarfaruq

Cute, polite and poor boy
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Nah, brotha, I'm more amateur than you-nya. And, I literally have zero knowledge about short stories which is why I made this thread.
Since, no one is answering, lemme summon @Eldoria The Great :blob_evil_two:. Pardon the disturbance but could you share your knowledge-nya?
You are being too humble onee-sama.
 

Nevafrost

A stupid and foolish daughter
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Apr 5, 2024
Messages
798
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No matter how long or short the writing is... if your writing tells a certain story that has elements of character, worldbuilding, plot and conflict... then that is the minimum standard for being called a story.
Okayyy. So, now I would like to ask: is my story engaging? Will it keep the readers thinking about it for a while?
You are being too humble onee-sama.
No, brotha. You are just a sweettt brother-nya
 

Emotica

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I'm learning about short stories too. I tend to write long-form by default, so I've been trying to get some reps in with lighter stuff. Turns out even my short stories are definitionally novellas. That being said, I think your story is too short to be considered a short story. I believe flash fiction is what you'd call shorter than a short story, but I think even flash fiction is usually longer than this. That isn't to say anything about the quality of your writing, I'm just wondering what kind of advice you're truly looking for. I clicked to see what I could learn about short stories, so I was surprised by how short yours was. Could it be the same way I misunderstood novellas for short stories, that you're misunderstanding something else for short stories? A quick google search shows there are lots of formats shorter than short story or even flash fiction, like drabble, which is interestingly exactly 100 words long. Your post seems to fit more with "microfiction". Once again, I'm not trying to belittle you or anything. I think it's actually quite the display of talent if you can contain meaning into something inherently smaller. It's almost like poetry, but thick.
 

Nevafrost

A stupid and foolish daughter
Joined
Apr 5, 2024
Messages
798
Points
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I'm learning about short stories too. I tend to write long-form by default, so I've been trying to get some reps in with lighter stuff. Turns out even my short stories are definitionally novellas. That being said, I think your story is too short to be considered a short story. I believe flash fiction is what you'd call shorter than a short story, but I think even flash fiction is usually longer than this. That isn't to say anything about the quality of your writing, I'm just wondering what kind of advice you're truly looking for. I clicked to see what I could learn about short stories, so I was surprised by how short yours was. Could it be the same way I misunderstood novellas for short stories, that you're misunderstanding something else for short stories? A quick google search shows there are lots of formats shorter than short story or even flash fiction, like drabble, which is interestingly exactly 100 words long. Your post seems to fit more with "microfiction". Once again, I'm not trying to belittle you or anything. I think it's actually quite the display of talent if you can contain meaning into something inherently smaller. It's almost like poetry, but thick.
Actually, the first one is around 350 words. I wanted to write a longer version but the word limit was 350 words. The second one is around 900 words.
 

Eldoria

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Okayyy. So, now I would like to ask: is my story engaging? Will it keep the readers thinking about it for a while?
Interesting is a matter of taste. I preferred the second fiction... it's a thriller. The dynamics of conflict and tension are consistent from beginning to end, which kept me reading until the end of the chapter.
 
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Emotica

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Actually, the first one is around 350 words. I wanted to write a longer version but the word limit was 350 words. The second one is around 900 words.
Just to clarify, I did check your word count. I was just saying that there are a lot more categories than "short story" and drabble was one of them, but yours is apparently flashfiction. I don't know how much it really matters, I was just wondering if the terminology would help you since flashfiction writers would probably use the term to find each other. I'm still doing research though, so take it all with a grain of salt. I don't know who the authority is on it, but it does seem widely accepted that short stories are at least 1000 words, and about 7-10k max before being considered a novelette, then novella, then novel.

It absolutely doesn't have to matter to you, I'm just sharing the knowledge in case it helps in the future.
 

Nevafrost

A stupid and foolish daughter
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Messages
798
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Just to clarify, I did check your word count. I was just saying that there are a lot more categories than "short story" and drabble was one of them, but yours is apparently flashfiction. I don't know how much it really matters, I was just wondering if the terminology would help you since flashfiction writers would probably use the term to find each other. I'm still doing research though, so take it all with a grain of salt. I don't know who the authority is on it, but it does seem widely accepted that short stories are at least 1000 words, and about 7-10k max before being considered a novelette, then novella, then novel.

It absolutely doesn't have to matter to you, I'm just sharing the knowledge in case it helps in the future.
Thank you. I actually need to know more about literature. Now, i wonder why the word limit was 350 words. Maybe because it was for middle schoolers only.
Interesting is a matter of taste. I preferred the second fiction... it's a thriller. The dynamics of conflict and tension are consistent from beginning to end, which kept me reading until the end of the chapter.
haha, me too. The first one is written for a competition so I had to follow the theme.
 
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