I read seven chapters, and if I had to sum up the experience in one word, it would be “disappointment.” The first three chapters? Pure filler. They offer little more than generic sci-fi settings, vending machine errands, and meaningless banter among the crew. By the time I reach Chapter 4 (arguably where the story finally begins), I’m left wondering: Does the author secretly hate their readers? You don’t tease a LitRPG premise only to waste time on space errands disguised as “worldbuilding.” All of that could’ve been summed up in one sentence: “Captain gets ambushed and thrown into a cell.” Instead, we slog through three chapters of fluff with no payoff.
For a story set in a Type I civilization with space stations, interplanetary missions, and futuristic tech, the worldbuilding is shockingly bland and shallow. There’s no effort to make the setting feel unique or immersive, it’s just a generic backdrop for Astra’s soon-to-be LitRPG grindfest. By the time we reach the NeuraEye system, it feels like the author realized way too late that this was supposed to be the interesting part all along. The result? A case of genre whiplash so severe I’m surprised the story doesn’t come with a neck brace.
And the protagonist? Don’t get me started. Astra feels less like a character and more like a glorified doll for the reader to “inhabit.” Supposedly, he’s a captain, a survivor, and a LitRPG protagonist. In reality, his defining traits are mismatched eyes, an obsession with working out, and occasionally being snarky to the guards. He experiences no emotional depth, no meaningful growth, and his internal monologue reads like a generic script that could’ve been given to any insert-protagonist-here character. Sure, it’s early chapters, but there’s nothing in these opening moments to make me believe Astra is human, let alone a seasoned captain. His “friends” on the ship feel just as lifeless. The dry, forced “banter” made me want to close the webnovel then and there, but I persisted. And I regret it.
Side characters? Forgettable. They could’ve been named Alien #1, Grumpy Guard, and That One Pink-Haired Lady, and it wouldn’t make a difference. Even in early chapters, you can make supporting characters memorable, but here? They’re so dull I can’t even bother to care.
Then there’s the NeuraEye. The system is supposed to be humanity’s “greatest creation,” yet it feels like the most contrived part of the story. Why does Astra, a seasoned captain, start at Level 1? The explanation for his reset is so muddy and vague that it screams lazy writing. Did the aliens deliberately strip him of progress? Did his system malfunction? Or did the author just need a convenient excuse to force a level grind? Without a clear and believable reason, it feels arbitrary. Imagine if Astra woke up, realizing the aliens hacked his system, and wrestled with helplessness, anger, or fear over losing years of progress. That could’ve added depth, but no, what we get instead is: “Oops, I’m Level 1 again. Better do push-ups.” It’s an emotional flatline.
This decision undermines Astra’s credibility as a protagonist. He’s supposed to be competent, but instead, he’s grinding basic stats like a teenage gamer in their first MMORPG. You could’ve thrown in a random Royal Road reader with insecurities, and they’d have made a more believable starting point than this mess.
The final, most damning flaw? The complete lack of stakes or meaningful conflict. The entire captivity arc drags on with minimal tension. The guards aren’t threatening. The leveling up feels like a routine chore rather than a desperate fight for survival. There’s no sense of urgency, no burning reason for Astra to escape. “Muh stats” and “mah frens” aren’t enough to justify this grindfest.
Your ambition is clear, but ambition alone doesn’t carry a story. Without meaningful character development, consistent pacing, and a sense of stakes, it all falls flat. Instead of an engaging narrative, we get Astra doing crunches while the plot wheezes for air. Even for a LitRPG, this is weak. My advice? Cut the first three chapters entirely, they add nothing. Give us a believable level reset with emotional stakes. And if you’re going to include side characters, make them memorable, even if they’re just Passerby Alien #34.
Screenshot_20241116_231035_Chrome.jpg
