Why do you write a story with AI, yet want human feedback? Might as well ask another AI for feedback on it, lol.
Let's keep human writing and human feedback, as well as AI writing and AI feedback, separate, okay?
Thank you for taking the time to read my novel and share your thoughts. English is not my first language, and I am still learning it. It might take me a year or two to write in perfect English, but I didn't want to wait that long to start telling my story. Infact I'm using the same tools in writing this reply. If I want to do something, I'll do it, and I will gladly use all the available tools to help me bring my vision to life. That's exactly why I wanted a human perspective and feedback on my work.
To be honest, the emotions in this story are 100% mine. In fact, there's a chapter called 'The Rubber Band Effect,' and while writing these lines:
“I… I still knew that my mother would never answer when I called for her again. She would never be there to scold me for a torn shirt, only to suddenly drag me to the sink a minute later to wash a scratch... I still knew that the simple joy of watching TV with my father was a chapter of my life that had closed forever. He would no longer be there to hold the sky for me... And my sister… The person who was my biggest headache, yet would shout like an absolute lunatic to protect me… she was just gone.”
I got so emotional that I couldn't even type for a while.
After chapter 8, the story shifts, and there is a lot more of 'me' and fewer 'tools' involved, which is why I also added an author's note about it. Anyway, thank you for your review. Thankyou for your support and motivation. Love you!
Writing is present? Feels robotic.
Any reason why Chapter 1 to 8 has no number?
I couldn't really pick up the theme from the first few chapters. A bit confusing as it expects us to know things we don't.
Thank you for taking the time to read and reply!
Regarding the missing numbers, I've only been on this platform for a few days. Initially, I thought the system would number the chapters automatically. By the time I realized it didn't, I was so busy writing—and since I didn't have many readers yet—I just didn't give it much thought
. But you're right, I will go back and fix that now.
Regarding the theme being confusing: the initial premise is meant to be a mix of mystery, psychological horror, and thriller. A bad dream comes true, and the protagonist's entire existence is erased. The feeling of not knowing everything right away is actually intentional. If something isn't explained yet, it’s meant to be a mystery, and all the pieces will be revealed at the right time.
As for the robotic feel: you are completely right. The first 8 chapters are essentially a massive monologue and backstory of the MC, which makes the pacing slow and the tone very stiff. It expects the reader to just absorb information without much context. The actual plot, theme, and world-building really begin at Chapter 9 when the timeline shifts to the present. I clearly need to work on how I deliver that early exposition without making it feel overwhelming.
Thanks again for the honest critique!
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