reviews for my stories

[lcainsworth]

I have no idea how to get reviews. I even tried messaging some people asking for a swap but got no answer. What am i doing wrong?
Here are their links, they have some views but .....

A Quest In Egypt ( A Story Of Jinns And Witches Book 1)

What do a 13 years old witch and a 13 years old Jinn have in common besides their age? Usually nothing except for a horde of evil creatures chasing them, the discovery of powers they never knew they had, sharing the same hotel in Egypt, discovering a group of frightening human traffickers...

www.scribblehub.com

Too Many Shadows, Too Little Light ( A Dark Passengers Story Book 1)

Princesses are born to defend their people. Being the best Imperial Air Force cadet, spending time with her friends and maybe meeting a cute boy is all Princess Astrid Zainab Korsning better known as Izzy wants. If only Yanar, her country, was not at war with Petra. If only she...

www.scribblehub.com

 

[OokamiOkuri]

Most readers on ScribbleHub are silent. For feedback, I recommend writing.com or WritersCafe. Both of those sites have point systems that encourage users to leave reviews.

 

[lcainsworth]

Thank you so much for replying. I feel so much better now.

 

[RepresentingCaution]

Most readers on ScribbleHub are silent. For feedback, I recommend writing.com or WritersCafe. Both of those sites have point systems that encourage users to leave reviews.

You forgot to add carefully, my minion

 

[Nirokuro]

I have no idea how to get reviews. I even tried messaging some people asking for a swap but got no answer. What am i doing wrong?
Here are their links, they have some views but .....

A Quest In Egypt ( A Story Of Jinns And Witches Book 1)

What do a 13 years old witch and a 13 years old Jinn have in common besides their age? Usually nothing except for a horde of evil creatures chasing them, the discovery of powers they never knew they had, sharing the same hotel in Egypt, discovering a group of frightening human traffickers...

www.scribblehub.com

Too Many Shadows, Too Little Light ( A Dark Passengers Story Book 1)

Princesses are born to defend their people. Being the best Imperial Air Force cadet, spending time with her friends and maybe meeting a cute boy is all Princess Astrid Zainab Korsning better known as Izzy wants. If only Yanar, her country, was not at war with Petra. If only she...

www.scribblehub.com

A hotel in Egypt, the thing is i am from Egypt

 

[lcainsworth]

A hotel in Egypt, the thing is i am from Egypt

I can promise you, I have not been disrespectful to your country and your people. All issues they had came from non-egyptians.

 

[Nirokuro]

I can promise you, I have not been disrespectful to your country and your people. All issues they had came from non-egyptians.

Relax i didn't mean it this way, i was just saying it because it was a strange coincidence

 

[AnonUnlimited]

@lcainsworth

this is not a review because your stories seem to be early on.

Anyway, you fall into the same trap a lot of stories fall into in trying to jump into the action without giving a good description or even a slight background on characters.

Describing your first characters is an opportunity to set tone. Tone is a form of word choice that lets readers know or gives them a feeling of what kind of novel it will be, but there is no set tone or flow of words.

it’s more of a missed opportunity, also there is a lot of unneeded or otherwise boring conversation. Those conversations would work once the reader cares about your characters to think about the fluff and slice of life stuff.
If they don’t care the majority of people would get bored right off the bat.

There are people who will like your character from the get go and read the story regardless however, but there is a lot you could do to establish the first chapters.

on the positive side, your paragraph and sentence structure is easy to read. There seems to be a direction you’re going into, and you are trying to set up the world building.

Your writing is not bad at all, I just giving you my thoughts on what I personally think could improve it.

both stories are similar in starting points and intros.

How To Establish Tone When Writing

What mood are you trying to establish in your writing? These tips might help you achieve your goal.

owlcation.com

 

[lcainsworth]

@lcainsworth

this is not a review because your stories seem to be early on.

Anyway, you fall into the same trap a lot of stories fall into in trying to jump into the action without giving a good description or even a slight background on characters.

Describing your first characters is an opportunity to set tone. Tone is a form of word choice that lets readers know or gives them a feeling of what kind of novel it will be, but there is no set tone or flow of words.

it’s more of a missed opportunity, also there is a lot of unneeded or otherwise boring conversation. Those conversations would work once the reader cares about your characters to think about the fluff and slice of life stuff.
If they don’t care the majority of people would get bored right off the bat.

There are people who will like your character from the get go and read the story regardless however, but there is a lot you could do to establish the first chapters.

on the positive side, your paragraph and sentence structure is easy to read. There seems to be a direction you’re going into, and you are trying to set up the world building.

Your writing is not bad at all, I just giving you my thoughts on what I personally think could improve it.

both stories are similar in starting points and intros.

How To Establish Tone When Writing

What mood are you trying to establish in your writing? These tips might help you achieve your goal.

owlcation.com

Thank you. I stopped posting so i could re-rewrite both stories so your observations will help a lot.

Relax i didn't mean it this way, i was just saying it because it was a strange coincidence

i see