Reviews and Criticism Needed for LitRPG Novel

[NOTkaosin21]

If anyone is willing to read my work and give an honest review and ways on how to improve, I'll greatly appreciate it. I personally feel that the earlier chapters are a bit rough but the later chapters become a bit better. Thank you for your time.

https://www.scribblehub.com/series/646791/i-can-copy-skills-with-a-system-in-another-world-litrpg-isekai/

 

[BetterNickPending]

Those tags scream overpowered Mary Sue protagonist.
It is enough for me to not even read the description.

Sorry not my cup of coffe.

 

[NOTkaosin21]

View attachment 27908
Those tags scream overpowered Mary Sue protagonist.
It is enough for me to not even read the description.

Sorry not my cup of coffe.

Dang. Thanks for trying, though.

 

[fluffypie374]

It's okay, but some peeps will still say that they have Zero interest because it's missing some of the popular tags (mentioned in other posts on how to get views). Ahem, guess that's just how the system works.

But don't fret. Just check your status daily and write like how you grind those dungeons. Just keep gaining skills, and your amalgamation shall come one day.

Of course, do take my words with a pinch of salt. After all, who knows if I am the deceiver of truth.

 

[NOTkaosin21]

It's okay, but some peeps will still say that they have Zero interest because it's missing some of the popular tags (mentioned in other posts on how to get views). Ahem, guess that's just how the system works.

But don't fret. Just check your status daily and write like how you grind those dungeons. Just keep gaining skills, and your amalgamation shall come one day.

Of course, do take my words with a pinch of salt. After all, who knows if I am the deceiver of truth.

lmfao. clever

It's okay, but some peeps will still say that they have Zero interest because it's missing some of the popular tags (mentioned in other posts on how to get views). Ahem, guess that's just how the system works.

But don't fret. Just check your status daily and write like how you grind those dungeons. Just keep gaining skills, and your amalgamation shall come one day.

Of course, do take my words with a pinch of salt. After all, who knows if I am the deceiver of truth.

also, what are some of the popular tags that you think I should pick up? i cant seem to find that post. thanks

 

[Deleted member 84247]

I noticed a problem right away. There is little paragraph variety, and they are almost all one line. Most people don't want a huge paragraph block, but they also don't want a stream of one-line paragraphs.

 

[NOTkaosin21]

I noticed a problem right away. There is little paragraph variety, and they are almost all one line. Most people don't want a huge paragraph block, but they also don't want a stream of one-line paragraphs.

i see. i used to write in blocks so i might've toned down a bit too much

 

[melchi]

The first thing I noticed was heavy parallel prose.

I think I made it about 1/4 of the way through the first chapter before I decided it wasn't worth it.

Pro Tip: Don't use mid sentence "as" unless it is a comparison. It makes the story impossible to make a mental movie of.

 

[NOTkaosin21]

The first thing I noticed was heavy parallel prose.

I think I made it about 1/4 of the way through the first chapter before I decided it wasn't worth it.

Pro Tip: Don't use mid sentence "as" unless it is a comparison. It makes the story impossible to make a mental movie of.

ive noticed that ive been using "as" a lot as well. thanks for the input, I'll cut down on the parallel prose.