Read My Pages?

[Eldoria]

Character development is real. This is your fault, Eldoria. You fixed her. Now you have to take responsibility.

 

[Hans.Trondheim]

It's working. More people actually read the story now because of the drama. Dramas are good for exposure!

Bad PR is still PR after all.

I'm glad you are enjoying this as much as us. AI accusations are inevitable. They will come, like it or not. You get your first time from me, isn't that cute?

If it's not from me, someone else like A2 will do that. You have proven yourself to be a better person than most authors asking feedback here by not disappearing after feedbacks are given and responding to them.

Have fun with the feedbacks. I hope you learned from them and wish you all the best for your story.

Kinda similar to that time I was accused of stealing my own drawings because, according to the fellow, he saw it in a dream.

I'd like to know the pot he smoked.

I got fans following me to see my downfall many many men

Well, as long as you're enjoying the show, who am I to judge?

 

[Leti]

I'm glad you are enjoying this as much as us. AI accusations are inevitable. They will come, like it or not. You get your first time from me, isn't that cute?

If it's not from me, someone else like A2 will do that. You have proven yourself to be a better person than most authors asking feedback here by not disappearing after feedbacks are given and responding to them.

Have fun with the feedbacks. I hope you learned from them and wish you all the best for your story.

Somebody: *Promotes their fictions/asks for feedbacks*
A2: More AI?

I can't control how others respond to me, but I can control how I respond to others.

Lesson of the day.

Bad PR is still PR after all.

Kinda similar to that time I was accused of stealing my own drawings because, according to the fellow, he saw it in a dream.

I'd like to know the pot he smoked.

Well, as long as you're enjoying the show, who am I to judge?

The funny thing is that the entire drama can be avoided if OP didn't react to Macha who is tired of seeing this kind of threads every day apologizing for being wrong and human by adding more fuel to the fire, demanding for evidence ignoring the evidence already provided (the overuse of rhetorical techniques and overdramatizing short sentences which is a very common AI tells.)

This invited others to dogpile on them. OP's behaviors would come as antagonistic to some people. That they keep arguing with people who didn't think AI was involved like Eldoria didn't help OP's case. In a place with more active moderation where the road is royal this behavior would have resulted in mobs with pitchforks lynching the OP.

(And Macha, but she have been trying to get lynched for a long time following Kusa's and Cheer's footsteps.)

But remember that at the end of the day, most readers wouldn't care if something is written by or with the assistance of AI as long as they find it enjoyable to read. Here is one good example:

I Was Reincarnated Into Dice

A man is reborn as a sentient dice. A secret slumbers within him, and when it awakens, it casts everything he believed into doubt. He rolls random spells. Sometimes he heals. Sometimes he explodes. Sometimes he remembers things he shouldn’t. Bound to a girl he barely knows, haunted by...

www.scribblehub.com

I Was Reincarnated Into Dice | Royal Road

A man is reborn as a sentient dice.A secret slumbers within him, and when it awakens, it casts everything he believed into doubt. He rolls random spells.Sometimes he heals. Sometimes he explodes.Sometimes he remembers things he shouldn’t. Bound to a girl he barely knows, haunted by memories he...

www.royalroad.com

If you don't use AI, that's good for you because you aren't depending on a tool. If you use AI, you should prepare to lose a good amount of your progress when companies like ClosedAI choose to nerf the model making it unusable for creative writing.

Let this be a lesson for all of us. We can learn many things about writing from the feedbacks here and how to interact with other people.

In the future, you can do better.

 

[unlaumy]

Some feedback. I also believe it isn't AI.

Synopsis & Prologue
---
I don't usually read them, but because they're the main and only parts that's being accused (others are just murking the water like usual), I'll analyze it.

The synopsis has too many negations that, while it's fucking bad, it's in fact, should be the main proof that it isn't touched with AI. The last half is actually decent! AI usually almost always repeat structure in paragraph-scale. In a paragraph, at most they do it like one-word sentences and it will always bleeds in the chapters, which if you read the subsequent chapters, the paragraphs are increasingly dense, so not that either.

For the prologue,

Rain.

A Cold October night.

this part is just an attempt of using place & time opening but the author wants to be different so they use the structure to establish the atmosphere (weather & time). This is proven by the following long paragraph focused solely for another setting up of some mood pieces.

Not much to say here. Not bad or good. Unfortunately, the problem is that it uses shock-value vibes. Shock-value needs something else to prod it up, and because the prologue has no visible good aspects, it just seems meaningless edgy.

Chapters
---
This is what's going on in half of the published chapters (I read until chapter 9):

>Jackie feels like shit
>Jackie meets A
>Jackie talks with A

>Jackie feels like shit
>Jackie meets B
>Jackie talks with B

and so on, and so on.

It comes out as some sort of meandering at the beginning. Later, things come together bit by bit, but it's obvious from the way it's presented, curious readers would just drop it after one or two chapters. For me, it's half from what I just pointed out above and half from the short chapters. Prose aren't usually the main priority when people check out new stories. And when you barely establish anything as you end a short chapter, all you get is just "what's this story even about?"

I like the way you present the characters' personalities though. You're both using dialogues and pure descriptions for that, instead of obsessing over one method for no reason. Some parts of the mood pieces also pay off, though mostly at the end of chapters. While overall are just neutral (except about Dante, that's cool).

The prose... I have mixed feeling about it. Dunno, if I'm just being delusional, but it just seems to me that you only focus on some parts and the other parts, you just do 'whatever'. There are also decent-sized paragraphs that just scream 'I cram things here', and some short sentences that should be actually long if you look at your long paragraph tendency.

The plot is starting to move at the newest chapters, but still too quick to decide on more.

 

[Louhi]

I'm with Eldoria and laum-hy. I also believe it's not AI.

The others have already provided some good feedbacks. Allow me to give you mine even if it's not about writing.

Table of Contents 10
Show 15 20 25 30 40 50

1. Chapter Nine: Two Minutes, Forty-Five Seconds14 hours ago
2. Chapter Eight: The One Who Sits On The Throne Of Evil Is A Man14 hours ago
3. Chapter Seven: Dante Was a Rolling Stone, Wherever He Laid His Hat Was His Home14 hours ago
4. Chapter Six: Stick-Up Kids: Thrive or DieJan 30, 2026
5. Chapter Five: You Know Moses Was Black, Right?Jan 30, 2026
6. Chapter Four: Lover: The Complicated Love Life of Tiffany and JackieJan 28, 2026
7. Chapter Three: The Working Man: Dying on Company TimeJan 28, 2026
8. Chapter Two: Pain & Loneliness: Something We ShareJan 28, 2026
9. Chapter One: A Life: AimlessJan 28, 2026
10. Prologue: Violence: We Love Hurting the SinnersJan 28, 2026

Try not to release too many chapters at the same time. Here, you released three.

The site have a mechanism that punishes authors for doing this to prevent spamming but it's not working as intended. It will reduce the visibility of your story from the main page and latest updates. Delaying the time between releases by an hour can stop this. Good luck!

 

[Failnot]

Hi, posting Ultraviolence here, and I don't got too much feedback from it so far. Would love to see more! If you want.

ULTRAVIOLENCE

Justice. Pain. Sins. Revenge. We all in our hearts have this sense of justice. The feeling of getting “even” in this world. An eye for an eye. We cheer on the man defending his home by shooting the man who wanted his TV dead. We love our revenge stories. Someone...

www.scribblehub.com

If I'm reading the thread, I may as well comment on it.

One quick remark is that I think some of these chapters are a tad bit too short. I've heard that generally, people prefer chapters around 1.5k to 2k words in length, and these are way below that so far. The prologue is a bit absurd and I like that, I can kind of see the tone this story is going with. It feels a lot like a movie, if that makes any sense. The MC's characterization is good, I think the story would benefit from segments of his internal monologue.

Before he was stationed in Africa secretly

I kind of balk at reveals like this one, it's sort of tossed in there for our benefit and convenience, when it'd be more impactful to have our protagonist open up / reveal it himself later on somehow. "Before everything" is sufficient here surely

Overall, neat stuff. All the plots appear interesting, I think what throws off readers is the length of the chapters and the fact that coming into the story, you really don't get to witness the "origin story" of the protagonist we see in the prologue till Chapter 9. We hear of Jackie being violent, of Rossi's gang, but everything suddenly crashes down in Chapter 9.

Spoiler

I felt like I'd missed something then, and maybe I did, because from what I know Tiffany is never set up to have a particular issue with the gang. I get that violence is meaningless and unjustified, but it could've helped to have something to make me think that she might get her top blown off and not Ashley.

 

[OtherSlater]

If I'm reading the thread, I may as well comment on it.

One quick remark is that I think some of these chapters are a tad bit too short. I've heard that generally, people prefer chapters around 1.5k to 2k words in length, and these are way below that so far. The prologue is a bit absurd and I like that, I can kind of see the tone this story is going with. It feels a lot like a movie, if that makes any sense. The MC's characterization is good, I think the story would benefit from segments of his internal monologue.



I kind of balk at reveals like this one, it's sort of tossed in there for our benefit and convenience, when it'd be more impactful to have our protagonist open up / reveal it himself later on somehow. "Before everything" is sufficient here surely

Overall, neat stuff. All the plots appear interesting, I think what throws off readers is the length of the chapters and the fact that coming into the story, you really don't get to witness the "origin story" of the protagonist we see in the prologue till Chapter 9. We hear of Jackie being violent, of Rossi's gang, but everything suddenly crashes down in Chapter 9.

Spoiler

I felt like I'd missed something then, and maybe I did, because from what I know Tiffany is never set up to have a particular issue with the gang. I get that violence is meaningless and unjustified, but it could've helped to have something to make me think that she might get her top blown off and not Ashley.

My entire writing career I had a problem with length. I really have to learn to stretch stuff out, but I'm very to the point in my writing. I will get better tho! I appreciate the feedback!

I'm with Eldoria and laum-hy. I also believe it's not AI.

The others have already provided some good feedbacks. Allow me to give you mine even if it's not about writing.



Try not to release too many chapters at the same time. Here, you released three.

The site have a mechanism that punishes authors for doing this to prevent spamming but it's not working as intended. It will reduce the visibility of your story from the main page and latest updates. Delaying the time between releases by an hour can stop this. Good luck!

I usually go for 2 a day, but ending at Chapter 9 made the most sense because It's a major plot point to cliffhanger on. Thank you for the info! I'll limit it to still 2 a day. Maybe an hour apart like you said.

Somebody: *Promotes their fictions/asks for feedbacks*
A2: More AI?


Lesson of the day.


The funny thing is that the entire drama can be avoided if OP didn't react to Macha who is tired of seeing this kind of threads every day apologizing for being wrong and human by adding more fuel to the fire, demanding for evidence ignoring the evidence already provided (the overuse of rhetorical techniques and overdramatizing short sentences which is a very common AI tells.)

This invited others to dogpile on them. OP's behaviors would come as antagonistic to some people. That they keep arguing with people who didn't think AI was involved like Eldoria didn't help OP's case. In a place with more active moderation where the road is royal this behavior would have resulted in mobs with pitchforks lynching the OP.

(And Macha, but she have been trying to get lynched for a long time following Kusa's and Cheer's footsteps.)

But remember that at the end of the day, most readers wouldn't care if something is written by or with the assistance of AI as long as they find it enjoyable to read. Here is one good example:

I Was Reincarnated Into Dice

A man is reborn as a sentient dice. A secret slumbers within him, and when it awakens, it casts everything he believed into doubt. He rolls random spells. Sometimes he heals. Sometimes he explodes. Sometimes he remembers things he shouldn’t. Bound to a girl he barely knows, haunted by...

www.scribblehub.com

I Was Reincarnated Into Dice | Royal Road

A man is reborn as a sentient dice.A secret slumbers within him, and when it awakens, it casts everything he believed into doubt. He rolls random spells.Sometimes he heals. Sometimes he explodes.Sometimes he remembers things he shouldn’t. Bound to a girl he barely knows, haunted by memories he...

www.royalroad.com

If you don't use AI, that's good for you because you aren't depending on a tool. If you use AI, you should prepare to lose a good amount of your progress when companies like ClosedAI choose to nerf the model making it unusable for creative writing.

Let this be a lesson for all of us. We can learn many things about writing from the feedbacks here and how to interact with other people.

In the future, you can do better.

Ok, I've grown tired of that word. "Antagonistic." While I've forgave Macha when they apologized, they baselessly accused me of using AI, then doubled down later. I clearly said that I won't accept vibes and formatting as evidence. Oh, you used a common technique? Must be the ROBOT! I defended myself. I didn't insult anyone. Why do I always gotta just roll over when somebody was on my back? I get dogpiled and it's somehow my fault? How was supposed to know there's an AI writing problem in the feedback channel? I just came back 3 days ago, dude. I won't roll over. So if that makes me so bad, o well. Again, I forgive you, @Macha . And I apologize If I came off as rude.

Some feedback. I also believe it isn't AI.

Synopsis & Prologue
---
I don't usually read them, but because they're the main and only parts that's being accused (others are just murking the water like usual), I'll analyze it.

The synopsis has too many negations that, while it's fucking bad, it's in fact, should be the main proof that it isn't touched with AI. The last half is actually decent! AI usually almost always repeat structure in paragraph-scale. In a paragraph, at most they do it like one-word sentences and it will always bleeds in the chapters, which if you read the subsequent chapters, the paragraphs are increasingly dense, so not that either.

For the prologue,


this part is just an attempt of using place & time opening but the author wants to be different so they use the structure to establish the atmosphere (weather & time). This is proven by the following long paragraph focused solely for another setting up of some mood pieces.

Not much to say here. Not bad or good. Unfortunately, the problem is that it uses shock-value vibes. Shock-value needs something else to prod it up, and because the prologue has no visible good aspects, it just seems meaningless edgy.

Chapters
---
This is what's going on in half of the published chapters (I read until chapter 9):

>Jackie feels like shit
>Jackie meets A
>Jackie talks with A

>Jackie feels like shit
>Jackie meets B
>Jackie talks with B

and so on, and so on.

It comes out as some sort of meandering at the beginning. Later, things come together bit by bit, but it's obvious from the way it's presented, curious readers would just drop it after one or two chapters. For me, it's half from what I just pointed out above and half from the short chapters. Prose aren't usually the main priority when people check out new stories. And when you barely establish anything as you end a short chapter, all you get is just "what's this story even about?"

I like the way you present the characters' personalities though. You're both using dialogues and pure descriptions for that, instead of obsessing over one method for no reason. Some parts of the mood pieces also pay off, though mostly at the end of chapters. While overall are just neutral (except about Dante, that's cool).

The prose... I have mixed feeling about it. Dunno, if I'm just being delusional, but it just seems to me that you only focus on some parts and the other parts, you just do 'whatever'. There are also decent-sized paragraphs that just scream 'I cram things here', and some short sentences that should be actually long if you look at your long paragraph tendency.

The plot is starting to move at the newest chapters, but still too quick to decide on more.

My goal with the first few chapters is the calm down after the hyper violent super edgy prologue. Jackie's life is boring. Aimless. He just works, meets with Tiffany, sleeps. I know it's a risk cuz it may come off as boring, but I think the interpersonal relationships are the carry here. Thank you for the feedback! I'll try to clean up my paragraphs in the revising period.

 

[SouthernMaiden]

Honestly, it doesn't read like AI to me either. I like it, reminds me of the punisher or Rorschach from watchmen

And I like your other story too! I really like ww1 horror stories. I do feel that the aggressively boring cover is letting you down on that one. It needs the Iron Horror on the cover

 

[OtherSlater]

Honestly, it doesn't read like AI to me either. I like it, reminds me of the punisher or Rorschach from watchmen

And I like your other story too! I really like ww1 horror stories. I do feel that the aggressively boring cover is letting you down on that one. It needs the Iron Horror on the cover

I'm so late lol

I wanted to go for an old German cover vibe. Maybe I can get an artist to make me a cooler design later. Thank you!

Overall, neat stuff. All the plots appear interesting, I think what throws off readers is the length of the chapters and the fact that coming into the story, you really don't get to witness the "origin story" of the protagonist we see in the prologue till Chapter 9. We hear of Jackie being violent, of Rossi's gang, but everything suddenly crashes down in Chapter 9.

Also to comment on this late lol, I think that Chapters 1-8 are super vital. It's all dependent on if you care about these people. You see who's in Jackie's life, his aimlessness, his depression. You see Dante and Roy, Tiffany and Rose, a life before UV.

 

[Failnot]

Also to comment on this late lol, I think that Chapters 1-8 are super vital. It's all dependent on if you care about these people. You see who's in Jackie's life, his aimlessness, his depression. You see Dante and Roy, Tiffany and Rose, a life before UV.

I don't personally have any qualms with it, but from what I've heard webnovel fans like to be hit fast and hard. Take that with a grain of salt, I don't actually know what I'm talking about

Also, I've thought a bit on my critique of what happens to a certain character in Chapter 9, and I kind of backtrack on that. I think it's a solid turn of events now