Writing Prologue or no Prologue?

[Cookiez_N_Potionz]

Should I go with a curse hint or keep my character ignorant? Is this captivating enough? This is my first Webnovel and I kinda messed up, didn't research enough before posting. My writing style is more traditional
]


Prologue:

Do Not Resuscitate was written in bold crimson letters.

A doctor and a nurse waited patiently in the hospital room as 17 year-old Collin Rex and his folks glared at the 10-page document in silence. This tragedy had flipped their life upside-down and he's been skeptical of the reason. At first his older siblings were just sick, but then they collapsed one day in the middle of their University class. When Collin's folks heard the news...they went ballistic which was odd? People would normally cry or panic in a situation like that.

"No!" Collin's mom said as she tossed the document in the trash. "Absolutely, not!"

"I don't understand," Collin's dad said.

"Trust me Mr. and Mrs. Rex," the doctor explained.

"Since they have excellent brain activity this DNR might be necessary, the nurse said.

"But," Collin's dad frowned. "Can we talk in private."

"Of course," the doctor answered.

When Collin's folks left with the doctor and nurse he placed a chair in the middle of the room and sat down. He had dark skin, Vitiligo spots, light brown curly hair, and wore a baseball jersey outfit with Air Jordan sneakers. Laying in the bed on the right was his older brother and laying in the bed on the left was his older sister. They both wore hospital gowns and had tubes hooked up to them.


"Hey Inaya and Ezra...," Collin muttered with a frown. "You've been sick for a year and now you've been in a coma for three months."

Silence.

He wiped the snot from his nose and continued. "All this doesn't make sense. Mum and dad think I need to leave D.C to focus on football, so we're going to our hometown in Connecticut."

Even though sunlight shined on Collin he still felt cold. "One night I overheard them talking about something bizarre. Is there really a curse?"

All of a sudden the lights on both of his sibling's machines flickered as an alarm went off. Within minutes 3 nurses and a doctor rushed into the room. He was shocked as the hospital staff checked his brother's and sister's vitals. That's when his folks walked into the room with worried faces. As soon as Collin stood up one of the nurses escorted them out. What was that reaction? Is this for real? The timing is too coincidental.

When they stepped into the hallway his mum spoke first. "Tell us what happened?"

"Nothing," Collin told them. "We were just talking."

"About what?" his dad joined the conversation.

Feeling the pressure of their gaze he scowled. "I know about the curse."

They both were silent.

"You shouldn't know about that," his mum's whisper broke the silence.

"So, it's true?" Collin's face contoured as he clenched his fists.

"It's complicated," his dad answered.

He lowered his head. "That's why the doctors and nurses can't find anything wrong with Ezra and Inaya."

Suddenly, Collin's mum hugged him and kissed his forehead.

"We should go," Collin's dad kissed his mum before patting him on the back. "Don't want to miss our flight."

 

[Eldoria]

Your prologue is like an infodump. It leaves new readers without even knowing why they should care. This makes the prologue less engaging.

You should write a prologue as a moral premise that raises the ethical conflict you will address in your novel's arc. It should be concise, interesting, and have a strong hook. Prologue recommendation: 700-1500 words.

A doctor and a nurse waited patiently in the hospital room as 17 year-old Collin Rex and his folks glared at the 10-page document in silence. His mum was an Alaskan Native while his dad was Romani.

For example, consider what I just quoted. What's the point of disclosing this information (for new readers)? It's more like an infodump.

 

[xizl]

I think one of the reasons it doesn't quite work is because of the way your verbs are written. It reads more like a report saying what happened, than something that is happening to the characters.

["Do Not Resuscitate was written in bold crimson letters.

A doctor and a nurse waited patiently in the hospital room as 17 year-old Collin Rex and his folks glared at the 10-page document in silence. His mum was an Alaskan Native while his dad was Romani."]

Collin is the MC right? It might help you to focus more on his thoughts of the situation as you narrate it, try to make it sound like the narration is coming from his head. Also, the bit of detail about them being Alaskan Native doesn't really add much to the scene here. It detracts from the point you were trying to make.

Prologues should be concise and reveal limited information to make the reader question things/give a good example for the tone of your book. Putting too much detail in the beginning is not only unnecessary, it is detrimental.

Dialogue doesn't usually need a beat-for-beat tag each time you write it.

["No!" Collin's mom said as she tossed the document in the trash. "Absolutely, not!"

"I don't understand," Collin's dad said.

"Trust me Mr. and Mrs. Rex," the doctor explained"]

The prose you write before starting dialogue can help give context to who's talking. It doesn't always need to be in the tag where they speak. Try looking at some classic books and see how they do dialogue. That can give you a good example of how to structure the flow of it to be a bit more natural.

"Hey Inaya and Ezra...," Collin muttered with a frown. "You've been sick for a year and now you've been in a coma for three months. All this doesn't make sense. Mum and dad think I need to leave D.C to focus on football, so we're going to our hometown in Connecticut. One night I overheard them talking about something bizarre. Is there really a curse?"

I do like this, it's just too much information packed into one place. Let's try and separate these sentences and show what Collin is doing during them. Maybe he pauses once or twice to wipe his nose from being emotional, or maybe he leans forward or something. Giving your characters actions while they speak can make the scene feel much more natural and engaging, while giving that character a personality that the reader will understand through action and not description. Break the sentences into more than one piece to make it easier to read.

Remember. People understand best through chunks of information. If I put all of this into one sentence, not separated by commas or periods, it would be much harder to read.

Remember people understand best through chunks of information if I put all of this into one sentence not separated by commas or periods it would be much harder to read

Periods are full stops that end a sentence. Commas "separate dependent clauses, whether they appear at the beginning, middle, or end of your sentence:

• Bob sat on the bench
• On a sunny day, Bob sat on the bench.
• Bob, who was wearing a tall hat, sat on the bench.
• Bob sat on the bench, where he was feeding the birds.
• On a sunny day, Bob, who was wearing a tall hat, sat on the bench, where he was feeding the birds."

If you need more help, feel free to ask. I hope this wasn't too much for one response ?

 

[Cookiez_N_Potionz]

I think one of the reasons it doesn't quite work is because of the way your verbs are written. It reads more like a report saying what happened, than something that is happening to the characters.

["Do Not Resuscitate was written in bold crimson letters.

A doctor and a nurse waited patiently in the hospital room as 17 year-old Collin Rex and his folks glared at the 10-page document in silence. His mum was an Alaskan Native while his dad was Romani."]

Collin is the MC right? It might help you to focus more on his thoughts of the situation as you narrate it, try to make it sound like the narration is coming from his head. Also, the bit of detail about them being Alaskan Native doesn't really add much to the scene here. It detracts from the point you were trying to make.

Prologues should be concise and reveal limited information to make the reader question things/give a good example for the tone of your book. Putting too much detail in the beginning is not only unnecessary, it is detrimental.

Dialogue doesn't usually need a beat-for-beat tag each time you write it.

["No!" Collin's mom said as she tossed the document in the trash. "Absolutely, not!"

"I don't understand," Collin's dad said.

"Trust me Mr. and Mrs. Rex," the doctor explained"]

The prose you write before starting dialogue can help give context to who's talking. It doesn't always need to be in the tag where they speak. Try looking at some classic books and see how they do dialogue. That can give you a good example of how to structure the flow of it to be a bit more natural.

"Hey Inaya and Ezra...," Collin muttered with a frown. "You've been sick for a year and now you've been in a coma for three months. All this doesn't make sense. Mum and dad think I need to leave D.C to focus on football, so we're going to our hometown in Connecticut. One night I overheard them talking about something bizarre. Is there really a curse?"

I do like this, it's just too much information packed into one place. Let's try and separate these sentences and show what Collin is doing during them. Maybe he pauses once or twice to wipe his nose from being emotional, or maybe he leans forward or something. Giving your characters actions while they speak can make the scene feel much more natural and engaging, while giving that character a personality that the reader will understand through action and not description. Break the sentences into more than one piece to make it easier to read.

Remember. People understand best through chunks of information. If I put all of this into one sentence, not separated by commas or periods, it would be much harder to read.

Remember people understand best through chunks of information if I put all of this into one sentence not separated by commas or periods it would be much harder to read

Periods are full stops that end a sentence. Commas "separate dependent clauses, whether they appear at the beginning, middle, or end of your sentence:

• Bob sat on the bench
• On a sunny day, Bob sat on the bench.
• Bob, who was wearing a tall hat, sat on the bench.
• Bob sat on the bench, where he was feeding the birds.
• On a sunny day, Bob, who was wearing a tall hat, sat on the bench, where he was feeding the birds."

If you need more help, feel free to ask. I hope this wasn't too much for one response ?

Okay, thx for the awesome advice. But I do have a favor.

Can you read chapter 1 and tell me which one is better? I'm missing the hook and I wanted to fix that. Let me know if I should keep this prologue or toss it

 

[xizl]

Okay, thx for the awesome advice. But I do have a favor.

Can you read chapter 1 and tell me which one is better? I'm missing the hook and I wanted to fix that. Let me know if I should keep this prologue or toss it

I think it's fine without the prologue. The information provided is about the same either way. I think you did a much more natural job on chapter 1 in regard to exposition. There's a thing here or there you could smooth out, but honestly, I don't think you need to add anything else.

 

[Cookiez_N_Potionz]

I think it's fine without the prologue. The information provided is about the same either way. I think you did a much more natural job on chapter 1 in regard to exposition. There's a thing here or there you could smooth out, but honestly, I don't think you need to add anything else.

I really appreciate your opinion.

 

[ConansWitchBaby]

Your chapter one is more than fine. No prologue. It'll also make things a bit awkward when people read some of the same things again immediately after.

 

[Cookiez_N_Potionz]

Your chapter one is more than fine. No prologue. It'll also make things a bit awkward when people read some of the same things again immediately after.

So, it's better to keep my MC ignorant and than let him find out slowly? The reason I did this is because I learned I messed up when I first wrote my Webnovel. I didn't research cause I thought it would be the same as traditional.

One again I'm sorry for my lack of pre-research. But I appreciate all the advice