Well, I won't beat around the bush. I've read your 4 chapters. Here are my impressions:
(1) The atmosphere is actually quite good. You're quite good at describing the atmosphere in a fantasy world. I can almost feel the warmth of the sun. Well, this might be the strength of your narrative.
(2) In the beginning of chapters 1-3, your narrative is actually still easy to follow. The flow of your scenes is clear and logical, from X to Y, from Y to Z. It makes it easier for the reader to follow the plot without getting lost.
Well, these 2 points can be considered the strengths of your narrative, at least based on my experience reading it in one go. Now I'll move on to the weaknesses of your narrative.
(3) Inconsistent POV. You use 3 variations of POV; the first POV, third limited POV and omniscient third POV randomly.
I don't blame you for switching POVs. But you need to understand the needs of your narrative. Why do you use first POV in chapter 1, use limited third POV in chapters 2 and 3 and use omniscient third POV in chapter 4?
For casual readers this is too much, they will easily get lost if you switch POVs randomly every chapter. You need to consider your use of POV.
For example, if your narrative is introspective, using first POV will provide deep emotional immersion for the reader.
The POV should be tailored to the needs of your narrative. In the context of your fiction, a limited third POV actually makes more sense because your fiction is an isekai adventure genre with a focus on a single character (Aeiko). It uses limited third POV to serve as a visual anchor for the reader.
You need to filter a lot of information based on the protagonist's perception, especially if your fiction is in the mystery genre. Information organization here is important. With limited third POV, the reader only knows what the protagonist knows. This allows you to set the mystery of your story.
(4) I experienced head hopping while reading chapter 4. Honestly, I had a hard time visualizing this scene. The scene felt blurry and jumping around. The problem?
You're using omniscient third POV. This chapter is dense with characters. The narrative often switches between characters quickly and quite randomly. I lost focus. The solution?
Back to point 3, use limited third POV. The adventurers' characters should be introduced through organic interactions with Aeiko. You need to position the narrative on how Aeiko gets to know them, rather than how they get to know Aeiko. You see the difference, right?
Use Aeiko as the reader's lens to identify other characters. Keep your narrative camera on Aeiko's head and don't jump to other characters randomly.
(5) I experienced white space syndrome while reading the fight scene in chapter 4. The visualization of the fight was blurry. I couldn't imagine this fight.
You need to provide a concrete image of the fight. Give it a spatial-temporal context and spatial clues regarding the characters' relative positions in the battle. Make your characters move on the ground.
(6) Your paragraph formatting is inconsistent and quite messy. In chapter 2 or 3 (if I remember correctly), the lines between paragraphs were too wide. The spacing between paragraphs should only be one line. Also, your sentences are too short (1 sentence = 1 paragraph), which might make some readers uncomfortable.
You should set a standard of 3-5 sentences per paragraph following light novel standards. Each paragraph should represent 1 scene. For example, an atmospheric description of the inn.
Well, that's it for now. I don't want to overwhelm you. I won't touch on characters, worldbuilding, plot, and conflict for now. You need to tidy up your storytelling.
Besides that, there's actually another issue related to immersion (show it, don't tell it). But let's put those two things aside for now.
You can consider the six points above or not.
Regards.
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