Need advice on my new story

[Kalebbewk]

Hi guys hope you are doing well. I just need some advice on how i am doing.

Silent Bloom

Shizukesa Hana has never understood emotions. While others use their feelings as power through Soul Ink, he moves through life quietly, unable to resonate with anything or anyone. His days are routine, uneventful, and defined by a calm that never changes. Everything shifts when he enters Hinode...

www.scribblehub.com

Thats the link the name is Silent Bloom 4 chapters currently

 

[sage61]

The synopsis was interesting. I was initially curious and wanted to read the story to find out why he is emotionless, only to be told the answer right in the end of the synopsis itself. He is an experiment. Then, the story in chapter 1 immediately flow his first day at school? with his guardian. And the mysterious petals that was supposed to bloom after his checkup test at school was already appearing there, where the talk between the guardian and the MC was already implying the petals had always been the superpower he had manifesting all his life way before the so-called testing site plot twist begins that was meant to awaken him to his journey. So, i felt a little let down and lost hope to read further.

It felt like there is potential mystery, yet I kept getting all the answers to the questions before I can even get immerse. It became as if I'm already at the last chapter with all the ending, so I felt no point in reading anymore.

 

[Kalebbewk]

i appreciate the feedback but that was purposefully done, the main plot of the story of to why he is emotionless is still yet to come so i recommend you to continue reading because u will enjoy it. This is also my first ever writing so i do appreciate the patience i am still learning.