Looking for feedback on my story

[S.T.Collier]

Looking for some feedback on my story, positive or negative, I have no problems with criticism. I currently have the first seven chapters uploaded ready for review and will be uploading the other 14 chapters soon.

Thanks in advance for taking the time.

S. T. Collier

 

[RadicalMongoose13]

I'd be happy to take a look at it. Maybe you could give mine a looky loo as well?

 

[S.T.Collier]

I would be happy to read and review your work, as I plan to be an active author in the community. The title of my work is APEX

 

[RadicalMongoose13]

I would be happy to read and review your work, as I plan to be an active author in the community. The title of my work is APEX

Fantastic! I'm hoping to build an audience here and be part of the community. And I love supporting other creators along the way. ?

 

[Time4T]

Frist two chapters "Routine of a Weapon" & "Lines that don’t wash Away" are exact duplicates. Although very good.

Same thing with chapters 3 and 4. I think something went wrong with your post.

 

[RadicalMongoose13]

Really good work but the later chapters are just duplicate summary/synopsis. But the writing itself is really good. Sensory details do some heavy lifting for helping anchor readers into the character's POV.

 

[S.T.Collier]

Sorry for the mix-up. I've corrected the mistake and posted the correct chapters

 

[K_Nishi]

Prose quality is strong, but the opening leans too heavily into environmental and system description.
As a web reader, I struggled to emotionally connect within the first few paragraphs, since the character’s personal stakes appear later.
Consider anchoring the opening more tightly to Katelynn’s immediate emotional conflict before expanding into the larger setting.

 

[S.T.Collier]

Prose quality is strong, but the opening leans too heavily into environmental and system description.
As a web reader, I struggled to emotionally connect within the first few paragraphs, since the character’s personal stakes appear later.
Consider anchoring the opening more tightly to Katelynn’s immediate emotional conflict before expanding into the larger setting.

Thanks for sharing K_Nishi, this is why i uploaded my work. ?