Looking for Feedback and Guidance on My Peter Pan Retelling – A Dark Mythic Fantasy Twist#1

Junes

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Jul 3, 2025
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Hi everyone! I'm Junes, and I'm working on a mythic fantasy retelling of Peter Pan—but with a darker, deeper twist. It's called Peter Pan and the Masquerade of Relics, and it's set in a world where moon gods, ancient mermaids, cursed pirates, and celestial wars reshape the Neverland we thought we knew.

The story weaves high fantasy elements with emotional depth, dark secrets, and powerful women at the heart of the mythos (think: Tinker Bell as the daughter of the Sun and Moon gods, Peter is he a Demon, a God or mere mortal? with a hidden past tied to a broken moon, and a Leviathan-worshiping siren with a tragic origin and of course the one and only famous captain Hook and his crew).

I’ve posted a few chapters already and I’d love some help in these areas:
  • Feedback on the pacing and worldbuilding: Does it feel too heavy or confusing?
  • Title, tags, and description tips: Are they compelling enough?
  • How to better engage readers here on ScribbleHub
If anyone’s willing to take a look or give suggestions, I’d be truly grateful! I’m also happy to do feedback exchanges—just drop your story link too.
Thanks in advance! ✨?
 

Anemic_Vampire

Duchess of the Enpire
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Jun 13, 2024
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I think the Chapter 1 and Chapter 2 are uploaded in the wrong order. Chapter 16 from the content table seems to be missing. And, did you use LLM to edit it? :meowsip:
 

SeaJay

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Jun 24, 2024
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Linked the story.
 
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