LeilaniOtter
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I thought folks might get a kick out of this. For context, on my other site, my second online home Furaffinity, I do a little roleplay with my furry character, Leilani, once in a while, especially holidays. We "play" like I'm her "Creator" and she interacts with me at times. We do this to provide really cool introspection, and education, laced with humor, to the major fanbase she has there. Anyway, I wrote this particular piece for the song "The 12 Days of Christmas", which Leilani has never heard in her life.
Let's watch: *^^* (Leilani's replies in italics)
--
Leilani happens along her Creator, humming a strange tune while decorating a large Christmas tree with LED lights, tassels, ornaments, and pretty pearl strings. "So soon, Creator?" Leilani asks with a sigh, and takes one of the pearl strings to place on a nearby branch.
"The month of December is actually all Christmas-time to most, otter girl. Because we're all thinking about what to get for others, or what we wish to have given to us, or people to visit, places to go, even the menu for the big Christmas dinner-"
"And apparently preparing the tree."
"Exactly. Most people get the tree this early so they have something to instill their homes with the Christmas spirit. It makes the home that much more warm and friendly. And it reminds us of Christmas all through the month."
Leilani nods and sighs again. "All the presents, food, singing. At least it is just one day."
"Lighten up, Miss Grinch," the author giggles.
Leilani looks puzzled. "What?"
"Nothing, some other time. A lot of Christians celebrate Christmas for 12 days, actually. From December 25 to January 5." She grins proudly. "MY birthday, as it turns out, is the last day of the 12 days of Christmas. That was the song I was humming."
Leilani watches her Creator decorate. "So...there are 12 opportunities for one to eat, and open presents, and visit relatives and friends each day?"
"Mm-hmm. That's why it's such a joyful song. A true love gives someone several amazing gifts so this person sings about all that was given. Like, take the first verse. On the first day of Christmas, my true love gave to me - a partridge in a pear tree."
Leilani's eyes brighten. "Oh, I do like pears. Would there be pears on the tree?"
"Sure, if you like pears that much. The tree would obviously be full grown if there's a partridge in it, right? Anyway, let's move on. Next comes, on the second day of Christmas my true love gave to me - two turtle doves, and a partridge in a pear tree."
Leilani blinks. "But I already received the tree. I get another pear tree?"
"No, the song is simply repeating the first verse, that's all. It's successive."
"Oh, alright continue."
"Okay, so...on the third day of Christmas my true love gave to me - three French hens, two turtle doves, and a partridge in a pear tree."
"Your true love is quite the bird-lover."
"Well, I get other gifts if you just wait!"
"Although the hens would come in handy for eggs."
"Sure, I suppose so, yes. On the fourth day of Christmas my true love gave to me - four calling birds, three French hens, two turtle doves, and a partridge in a pear tree."
Leilani sighs. "You will need a large cage, I can see that now."
"Yes, or an arboretum, huh?"
"Well, I certainly would not allow these feathered beasts free reign of my hut. Such a mess. Your true love should have included at least four cages."
"Okay, look, enough with the birds, we're done with birds for a while, okay? On the fifth day of Christmas my true love gave to me - five golden rings, four calling birds, three French hens, two turtle doves, and a partridge in a pear tree."
Leilani looks curious now. "Wait, five rings? You are being married five times?"
"No, otter, look-"
"Or do you get five husbands?" She gets a dreamy look. "Mmm, five lovers." Her ruddertail starts to sway appreciatively as she looks distant.
"Lani, dear, it's just a symbol. The five golden rings are actually, well, let me finish the rest of the song, and then you'll get it. On the sixth day of Christmas my true love gave to me - six geese a laying, five golden rings, four calling birds, three French hens, two turtle doves, and a partridge in a pear tree."
Leilani is silent for a moment. "I thought you said we were done with birds."
"Well, okay, sorry, it was just this one extra group."
"Are you getting these geese in the process of laying eggs? That seems inhumane."
The author flushes. "No, not at all. My true love is just giving me geese capable of laying eggs, okay?"
Leilani replies with a growl. "But you already have the hens."
"I like EGGS, okay?! Can I continue?"
"Sorry, Creator."
"On the seventh day of Christmas my true love gave to me - seven swans a swimming, six geese a laying, five golden rings, four calling birds, three French hens, two turtle doves, and a partridge in a pear tree."
Leilani shakes her head. "More birds?"
"Those are the LAST of the birds, I promise."
"Does a pool come with the swans?"
"Well, no, they just swim along nicely. Like, my true love probably let them go somewhere else and they swam up to me is all."
Leilani interjects. "But can you really catch them if they are swimming? They would have to be tamed swans and you would have to trust them not to swim off again."
"I would probably just-"
"And now that I think about that, your swans would never survive in the sea. Your seven swans swimming would meet up with seven sharks dining." The otter giggles at her wit.
The author deadpans. "Yeah, bloodied, torn swan meat and feathers floating on the waves. Because that's the true meaning of Christmas." She ignores the otter's giggles and continues singing, "On the eighth day of Christmas my true love gave to me - eights maids a milking, seven swans a swimming, six geese a laying, five golden rings, four calling birds, three French hens, two turtle doves, and a partridge in a pear tree."
"Milking maids...?"
"Yes, you know, like from a cow?"
"Oh! I thought maybe the maids gave milk."
The author stares at the otter. "These are human maids. Women."
Leilani nods. "But if they were pregnant-"
"They are NOT pregnant!"
"Do you get the cows too? The maids need something to milk then, yes?"
"Yes, I probably get the cows too. Can I go on?"
"Well, where are you going to keep the cows?"
The author growls. "It doesn't matter! I have a good sized backyard. I have a garage. I'd find a way, okay?!"
Leilani looks sad. "Your true love has given you almost nothing but animals. Is he a zookeeper?"
"No, he is not a zookeeper. If you'd just let me finish I-"
"But why in the world would he give you so many animals? It is bad enough to get all the birds, but cows too? Your place will be so noisy."
"I'd get a stable for the cows, okay?! Listen. On the ninth day of Christmas my true love gave to me - nine ladies dancing, eight maids a milking, seven swans a swimming, six geese a laying, five golden rings, four calling birds, three French hens, two turtle doves, and a partridge in a pear tree."
"You get...nine more women?" She calculates. "That is seventeen women."
"Well, yes but-"
"In one house."
"Yeah, so? They're just dancing! I'm not necessarily going to KEEP them!"
Leilani's whiskers twitch. "I would be very upset with a true love who had such easy accessibility to procuring women like this. And what is worse, this is now bordering on trafficking if you think about it."
"Traf-? No, otter, you don't get it. EACH of these things I'm telling you have a whole other meaning, if you just listen."
Leilani protests. "But you have SEVENTEEN women. And it appears you now own them, which would then mean this is pure slavery, just like you taught me about the Civil War, and how your people owned other people, and it was very frowned upon."
The author shakes her head. "Okay, look. I take all the women and find them husbands in the next verse, okay!?"
Leilani looks pleased and claps. "Oh! That is so sweet. Continue then."
"Right then. On the tenth day of Christmas my true love gave to me - ten lords a leaping, nine ladies dancing, eights maids a milking, seven swans a swimming, six geese a laying, five golden rings, four calling birds, three French hens, two turtle doves, and a partridge in a pear tree."
"Lords? Oh, people of great power. What are they lords of?"
"I have no idea, otter."
"They are leaping, so are they lords of dancing somehow?" Her eyes widen. "Oh, they would be perfect to marry off with the nine dancing ladies!"
The author giggles and places an ornament. "Probably. They're leaping because they're happy, I guess."
Leilani nods. "Now to just find husbands for the other seven maids."
"Uh, yeah."
The otter frowns. "Goodness. 27 people. 23 birds. Eight cows. Creator, your true love either loathes you or has many strange fantasies about you. He clearly wishes to drive you to insanity. This is not love."
"I know it sounds wacky right now, but I'll explain it all in a minute. On the eleventh day of Christmas my true love gave to me - eleven pipers piping-"
"PIPERS?! More birds?!"
The author sighs deeply. "No, those are SANDpipers. You're thinking of the seashore birds you always see here. These are people who play pipes or bagpipes."
Leilani waves a paw. "So, wait, please. On top of 27 people in your house, you now have 11 more people who play bagpipes. Creator, this man truly hates you!"
The author sputters. "Okay, okay, look! We have 21 guys right?! I married them off to the 17 women and they all left my house, okay?!"
"But that leaves four men in your house." The otter slowly smiles. "That could be fun."
"Lani!"
The otter giggles softly and fastens some tassels. "Sorry, please continue."
"Ok, so, the last verse is, on the twelfth day of Christmas my true love gave to me - twelve drummers drumming, eleven pipers piping, ten lords a leaping, nine ladies dancing, eights maids a milking, seven swans a swimming, six geese a laying, five golden rings, four calling birds, three French hens, two turtle doves, and a partridge in a pear tree."
Leilani snickers. "More music in the household."
The author sighs. "It would seem so, yes. But percussion with bagpipes actually goes nicely together."
Leilani pulls out a small calculator and taps for a few moments. "Do you realize that if every day you received these gifts, you would actually have 12 partridges, 22 turtle doves, 30 French hens, 36 calling birds, 40 golden rings, 42 geese, 42 swans, 40 maids, 36 dancing ladies, 30 lords, 22 pipers, and 12 drummers?"
The author stares hard at the otter, not saying anything.
Leilani blushes deeply. "I have been studying math lately."
"Careful, diver girl. If you start getting too intelligent, you'll just double the attraction around you."
The otter laughs and takes out a pair of reading glasses, laying them on the bridge of her muzzle so she can look over them. "I would like that."
"So, yes, it would be a mess and I'd probably go insane. So that's why I want to explain the true meaning of the song now. It is actually quite old. See, religion didn't have the freedoms it has today. In England from around the middle of the 16th century to the 1820s, Roman Catholicism from Italy couldn't be practiced at all. So, the Catholics at that time adopted a special song that would have a hidden meaning. So, people could sing it and not feel like they were doing anything wrong."
"So...you are saying that this song contains secret context?"
"Precisely. The Twelve Days of Christmas song actually goes like this, from the last verse: On the twelfth day of Christmas my true love gave to me - the twelve points of belief in The Apostles' Creed; eleven faithful Apostles; Ten Commandments; nine fruits of the Holy Spirit; which are Charity, Joy, Peace, Patience, Goodness, Mildness, Fidelity, Modesty, and Chastity; eight beatitudes; seven gifts of the Holy Spirit, which are Prophesy, Serving, Teaching, Exhortation, Contribution, Leadership, and Mercy; six days of creation; the first five books of the Old Testament, which explain man's falling into sin and how God decided to send a savior to man; the four gospels of Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John; the three theological virtues of faith, hope, and love; the two testaments of the Holy Bible, and of course the partridge in the pear tree, which would be Jesus Christ, the man whose birthday we celebrate this time of year. Neat, huh?"
The otter just looks at the author incredulously, blinking several times.
"You know what, just stick to the animals and people. How many were-?"
Leilani flashes a triumphant grin. "184 birds and 180 people for a total of 364 gifts!"
"Fine." The author sighs and shakes her head, going back to decorating.
The otter wags her ruddertail happily as she lays more tassel, feeling more festive. "That is nearly a gift a day for a year! We could truly celebrate Christmas every day!"
"We should, otter-girl. We really should." She smiles and strokes Leilani's back gently, then goes back to helping her decorate.
May 2026 honestly help you to keep Christmas all year long as well.
Let's watch: *^^* (Leilani's replies in italics)
--
Leilani happens along her Creator, humming a strange tune while decorating a large Christmas tree with LED lights, tassels, ornaments, and pretty pearl strings. "So soon, Creator?" Leilani asks with a sigh, and takes one of the pearl strings to place on a nearby branch.
"The month of December is actually all Christmas-time to most, otter girl. Because we're all thinking about what to get for others, or what we wish to have given to us, or people to visit, places to go, even the menu for the big Christmas dinner-"
"And apparently preparing the tree."
"Exactly. Most people get the tree this early so they have something to instill their homes with the Christmas spirit. It makes the home that much more warm and friendly. And it reminds us of Christmas all through the month."
Leilani nods and sighs again. "All the presents, food, singing. At least it is just one day."
"Lighten up, Miss Grinch," the author giggles.
Leilani looks puzzled. "What?"
"Nothing, some other time. A lot of Christians celebrate Christmas for 12 days, actually. From December 25 to January 5." She grins proudly. "MY birthday, as it turns out, is the last day of the 12 days of Christmas. That was the song I was humming."
Leilani watches her Creator decorate. "So...there are 12 opportunities for one to eat, and open presents, and visit relatives and friends each day?"
"Mm-hmm. That's why it's such a joyful song. A true love gives someone several amazing gifts so this person sings about all that was given. Like, take the first verse. On the first day of Christmas, my true love gave to me - a partridge in a pear tree."
Leilani's eyes brighten. "Oh, I do like pears. Would there be pears on the tree?"
"Sure, if you like pears that much. The tree would obviously be full grown if there's a partridge in it, right? Anyway, let's move on. Next comes, on the second day of Christmas my true love gave to me - two turtle doves, and a partridge in a pear tree."
Leilani blinks. "But I already received the tree. I get another pear tree?"
"No, the song is simply repeating the first verse, that's all. It's successive."
"Oh, alright continue."
"Okay, so...on the third day of Christmas my true love gave to me - three French hens, two turtle doves, and a partridge in a pear tree."
"Your true love is quite the bird-lover."
"Well, I get other gifts if you just wait!"
"Although the hens would come in handy for eggs."
"Sure, I suppose so, yes. On the fourth day of Christmas my true love gave to me - four calling birds, three French hens, two turtle doves, and a partridge in a pear tree."
Leilani sighs. "You will need a large cage, I can see that now."
"Yes, or an arboretum, huh?"
"Well, I certainly would not allow these feathered beasts free reign of my hut. Such a mess. Your true love should have included at least four cages."
"Okay, look, enough with the birds, we're done with birds for a while, okay? On the fifth day of Christmas my true love gave to me - five golden rings, four calling birds, three French hens, two turtle doves, and a partridge in a pear tree."
Leilani looks curious now. "Wait, five rings? You are being married five times?"
"No, otter, look-"
"Or do you get five husbands?" She gets a dreamy look. "Mmm, five lovers." Her ruddertail starts to sway appreciatively as she looks distant.
"Lani, dear, it's just a symbol. The five golden rings are actually, well, let me finish the rest of the song, and then you'll get it. On the sixth day of Christmas my true love gave to me - six geese a laying, five golden rings, four calling birds, three French hens, two turtle doves, and a partridge in a pear tree."
Leilani is silent for a moment. "I thought you said we were done with birds."
"Well, okay, sorry, it was just this one extra group."
"Are you getting these geese in the process of laying eggs? That seems inhumane."
The author flushes. "No, not at all. My true love is just giving me geese capable of laying eggs, okay?"
Leilani replies with a growl. "But you already have the hens."
"I like EGGS, okay?! Can I continue?"
"Sorry, Creator."
"On the seventh day of Christmas my true love gave to me - seven swans a swimming, six geese a laying, five golden rings, four calling birds, three French hens, two turtle doves, and a partridge in a pear tree."
Leilani shakes her head. "More birds?"
"Those are the LAST of the birds, I promise."
"Does a pool come with the swans?"
"Well, no, they just swim along nicely. Like, my true love probably let them go somewhere else and they swam up to me is all."
Leilani interjects. "But can you really catch them if they are swimming? They would have to be tamed swans and you would have to trust them not to swim off again."
"I would probably just-"
"And now that I think about that, your swans would never survive in the sea. Your seven swans swimming would meet up with seven sharks dining." The otter giggles at her wit.
The author deadpans. "Yeah, bloodied, torn swan meat and feathers floating on the waves. Because that's the true meaning of Christmas." She ignores the otter's giggles and continues singing, "On the eighth day of Christmas my true love gave to me - eights maids a milking, seven swans a swimming, six geese a laying, five golden rings, four calling birds, three French hens, two turtle doves, and a partridge in a pear tree."
"Milking maids...?"
"Yes, you know, like from a cow?"
"Oh! I thought maybe the maids gave milk."
The author stares at the otter. "These are human maids. Women."
Leilani nods. "But if they were pregnant-"
"They are NOT pregnant!"
"Do you get the cows too? The maids need something to milk then, yes?"
"Yes, I probably get the cows too. Can I go on?"
"Well, where are you going to keep the cows?"
The author growls. "It doesn't matter! I have a good sized backyard. I have a garage. I'd find a way, okay?!"
Leilani looks sad. "Your true love has given you almost nothing but animals. Is he a zookeeper?"
"No, he is not a zookeeper. If you'd just let me finish I-"
"But why in the world would he give you so many animals? It is bad enough to get all the birds, but cows too? Your place will be so noisy."
"I'd get a stable for the cows, okay?! Listen. On the ninth day of Christmas my true love gave to me - nine ladies dancing, eight maids a milking, seven swans a swimming, six geese a laying, five golden rings, four calling birds, three French hens, two turtle doves, and a partridge in a pear tree."
"You get...nine more women?" She calculates. "That is seventeen women."
"Well, yes but-"
"In one house."
"Yeah, so? They're just dancing! I'm not necessarily going to KEEP them!"
Leilani's whiskers twitch. "I would be very upset with a true love who had such easy accessibility to procuring women like this. And what is worse, this is now bordering on trafficking if you think about it."
"Traf-? No, otter, you don't get it. EACH of these things I'm telling you have a whole other meaning, if you just listen."
Leilani protests. "But you have SEVENTEEN women. And it appears you now own them, which would then mean this is pure slavery, just like you taught me about the Civil War, and how your people owned other people, and it was very frowned upon."
The author shakes her head. "Okay, look. I take all the women and find them husbands in the next verse, okay!?"
Leilani looks pleased and claps. "Oh! That is so sweet. Continue then."
"Right then. On the tenth day of Christmas my true love gave to me - ten lords a leaping, nine ladies dancing, eights maids a milking, seven swans a swimming, six geese a laying, five golden rings, four calling birds, three French hens, two turtle doves, and a partridge in a pear tree."
"Lords? Oh, people of great power. What are they lords of?"
"I have no idea, otter."
"They are leaping, so are they lords of dancing somehow?" Her eyes widen. "Oh, they would be perfect to marry off with the nine dancing ladies!"
The author giggles and places an ornament. "Probably. They're leaping because they're happy, I guess."
Leilani nods. "Now to just find husbands for the other seven maids."
"Uh, yeah."
The otter frowns. "Goodness. 27 people. 23 birds. Eight cows. Creator, your true love either loathes you or has many strange fantasies about you. He clearly wishes to drive you to insanity. This is not love."
"I know it sounds wacky right now, but I'll explain it all in a minute. On the eleventh day of Christmas my true love gave to me - eleven pipers piping-"
"PIPERS?! More birds?!"
The author sighs deeply. "No, those are SANDpipers. You're thinking of the seashore birds you always see here. These are people who play pipes or bagpipes."
Leilani waves a paw. "So, wait, please. On top of 27 people in your house, you now have 11 more people who play bagpipes. Creator, this man truly hates you!"
The author sputters. "Okay, okay, look! We have 21 guys right?! I married them off to the 17 women and they all left my house, okay?!"
"But that leaves four men in your house." The otter slowly smiles. "That could be fun."
"Lani!"
The otter giggles softly and fastens some tassels. "Sorry, please continue."
"Ok, so, the last verse is, on the twelfth day of Christmas my true love gave to me - twelve drummers drumming, eleven pipers piping, ten lords a leaping, nine ladies dancing, eights maids a milking, seven swans a swimming, six geese a laying, five golden rings, four calling birds, three French hens, two turtle doves, and a partridge in a pear tree."
Leilani snickers. "More music in the household."
The author sighs. "It would seem so, yes. But percussion with bagpipes actually goes nicely together."
Leilani pulls out a small calculator and taps for a few moments. "Do you realize that if every day you received these gifts, you would actually have 12 partridges, 22 turtle doves, 30 French hens, 36 calling birds, 40 golden rings, 42 geese, 42 swans, 40 maids, 36 dancing ladies, 30 lords, 22 pipers, and 12 drummers?"
The author stares hard at the otter, not saying anything.
Leilani blushes deeply. "I have been studying math lately."
"Careful, diver girl. If you start getting too intelligent, you'll just double the attraction around you."
The otter laughs and takes out a pair of reading glasses, laying them on the bridge of her muzzle so she can look over them. "I would like that."
"So, yes, it would be a mess and I'd probably go insane. So that's why I want to explain the true meaning of the song now. It is actually quite old. See, religion didn't have the freedoms it has today. In England from around the middle of the 16th century to the 1820s, Roman Catholicism from Italy couldn't be practiced at all. So, the Catholics at that time adopted a special song that would have a hidden meaning. So, people could sing it and not feel like they were doing anything wrong."
"So...you are saying that this song contains secret context?"
"Precisely. The Twelve Days of Christmas song actually goes like this, from the last verse: On the twelfth day of Christmas my true love gave to me - the twelve points of belief in The Apostles' Creed; eleven faithful Apostles; Ten Commandments; nine fruits of the Holy Spirit; which are Charity, Joy, Peace, Patience, Goodness, Mildness, Fidelity, Modesty, and Chastity; eight beatitudes; seven gifts of the Holy Spirit, which are Prophesy, Serving, Teaching, Exhortation, Contribution, Leadership, and Mercy; six days of creation; the first five books of the Old Testament, which explain man's falling into sin and how God decided to send a savior to man; the four gospels of Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John; the three theological virtues of faith, hope, and love; the two testaments of the Holy Bible, and of course the partridge in the pear tree, which would be Jesus Christ, the man whose birthday we celebrate this time of year. Neat, huh?"
The otter just looks at the author incredulously, blinking several times.
"You know what, just stick to the animals and people. How many were-?"
Leilani flashes a triumphant grin. "184 birds and 180 people for a total of 364 gifts!"
"Fine." The author sighs and shakes her head, going back to decorating.
The otter wags her ruddertail happily as she lays more tassel, feeling more festive. "That is nearly a gift a day for a year! We could truly celebrate Christmas every day!"
"We should, otter-girl. We really should." She smiles and strokes Leilani's back gently, then goes back to helping her decorate.
May 2026 honestly help you to keep Christmas all year long as well.
