Isekai enjoyers, please check out my story.

Viator

Wandering Moon that conceals the tide
Joined
Jan 8, 2019
Messages
239
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Tried reading a couple chapters so far. You have a good basis and voice, but it seems to move a little quickly, you can take your time to build the world, and don't need to rush to the exciting bits. The best advice I can give is to work on "Show. Don't tell." in your exposition. Otherwise decent start. I will be keeping an eye on it.
 

Lloyd

Funny Guy :)
Joined
Jun 2, 2020
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2,538
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Tried reading a couple chapters so far. You have a good basis and voice, but it seems to move a little quickly, you can take your time to build the world, and don't need to rush to the exciting bits. The best advice I can give is to work on "Show. Don't tell." in your exposition. Otherwise decent start. I will be keeping an eye on it.
I tried to do that, but I am just a fast paced writer. (y) I think I did okay on the show don't tell stuff. I tried to keep the exposition to a minimum. :unsure: If you would like to beta read for me that would be a big help.
 

Viator

Wandering Moon that conceals the tide
Joined
Jan 8, 2019
Messages
239
Points
103
I tried to do that, but I am just a fast paced writer. (y) I think I did okay on the show don't tell stuff. I tried to keep the exposition to a minimum. :unsure: If you would like to beta read for me that would be a big help.
Unfortunately, I am unsure if I have the time to commit to anything at the moment. But I will try to throw out constructive thoughts when I can if that helps. I want to encourage anyone who wants to put themselves out there with their writing. Life is just too chaotic for me at the moment to say how much time I will be on the site. Good luck to you though.
 

Zirrboy

Fueled by anger
Joined
Jan 25, 2021
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1,193
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You seem to have editors already, which is the only thing I'd be interested in. Story looks like it's on a decent track, though!
 

Lloyd

Funny Guy :)
Joined
Jun 2, 2020
Messages
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My original editors are inactive sadly, so Im always looking for new ones.
 
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