Is this sentence grammatically correct?

[AncestorDuck]

This is the story of a young man on his way to becoming the most dangerous "nobody" in the universe.

I ask because I think the sentence sounds strange.

According to Grammarly, however, it is correct.

 

[Syringe]

It is correct. Nothing's wrong with it.

 

[MintiLime]

Technically this is correct. I think it sounds good, if a little long.

If you read it in a Movie Trailer Deep Narrator voice with sufficiently long pauses, it even sounds dramatic.

Reading quickly as one might while skimming a synopsis, it sounds almost like a run-on.

 

[Jemini]

As everyone is saying, this is grammatically correct, but if I was helping edit your writing then I'd probably recommend it be changed or re-phrased to include some punctuation anyway just to make it look a little less weird.

Worth mention, most punctuation you could add would cause it to become grammatically incorrect. As such, you will need to also do some re-phrasing to make the punctuation work, and that re-phrasing may very well make the line a bit longer and more wordy.

 

[AncestorDuck]

Technically this is correct. I think it sounds good, if a little long.

If you read it in a Movie Trailer Deep Narrator voice with sufficiently long pauses, it even sounds dramatic.

Reading quickly as one might while skimming a synopsis, it sounds almost like a run-on.

I just find this "to becoming" weird.

I think "to become" sounds better.

As everyone is saying, this is grammatically correct, but if I was helping edit your writing then I'd probably recommend it be changed or re-phrased to include some punctuation anyway just to make it look a little less weird.

Worth mention, most punctuation you could add would cause it to become grammatically incorrect. As such, you will need to also do some re-phrasing to make the punctuation work, and that re-phrasing may very well make the line a bit longer and more wordy.

This is the story of a young man - a young man spreading the terror of a "nobody" to the entire universe.

Like this?

 

[TheEldritchGod]

This is the story of a young man on his way to becoming the most dangerous "nobody" in the universe.

I'm the most dangerous nobody in the universe. That's your problem.

 

[ElijahRyne]

This is the story of a young man on his way to becoming the most dangerous "nobody" in the universe.

I ask because I think the sentence sounds strange.

According to Grammarly, however, it is correct.

A minor thing but I think ‘nobody’ looks better than ”nobody”, although that might just be me. Also to become makes more sense than to becoming.

 

[MintiLime]

I just find this "to becoming" weird.

I think "to become" sounds better.

This is the story of a young man - a young man spreading the terror of a "nobody" to the entire universe.

Like this?

You could also have even more versions:

This is the origin story of the most dangerous “nobody” in the universe.

This is the story of young man who will one day become the universe’s most dangerous “nobody.”

This is a young man’s journey to become the universe’s most dangerous “nobody.”

 

[TsumiHokiro]

This is the story of a young man on his way to becoming the most dangerous "nobody" in the universe.

I ask because I think the sentence sounds strange.

According to Grammarly, however, it is correct.

Nothing wrong with it.
Instead of offering my view on a perfectly fine sentence, let me ask you: why do you think that sentence sounds strange?
Only then can I offer you my view of why it might sound strange, and why it might not.

 

[LilRora]

Gramatically, it is correct. Logically it's weird. If I'm not mistaken, it means he's on his way to the journey of becoming a nobody, so to speak. I did purposefully make it glaring, but that's what it means to me.

That's because becoming a nobody is a process here when you use verb+ing and "journey to sth" means that sth is the end goal. Instead, you can write "journey of becoming a nobody", which means that becoming a nobody is a process that happens during the journey, or "journey to become a nobody", which means becoming a nobody is a singular event at the end of the journey. Depending on context there may also be a couple more viable options.

 

[TheTrinary]

This is the story of a young man on his way to becoming the most dangerous "nobody" in the universe.

I ask because I think the sentence sounds strange.

According to Grammarly, however, it is correct.

It is both correct and completely intuitive. I don't know how you look at that and think it sounds weird.

 

[Kenjona]

This is the story of a young man on his way to becoming the most dangerous "nobody" in the universe.

I ask because I think the sentence sounds strange.

According to Grammarly, however, it is correct.

So are all of these:

This is the story of a young man, on his way to becoming the most dangerous "nobody" in the universe.

This, is the story of a young man, on his way, to becoming the most dangerous, "nobody", in the universe.
<Does anyone else read that, as if William Shatner is saying it?>

This is the story of a young man; on his way to becoming the most dangerous "nobody" in the universe.

So what idea are you trying to bring out in that sentence?

Also is it to dry to you, when you read it? Does it need a "hook"? Just because a sentence is correct and provides correct info does not mean it is the right sentence for the emotion or idea you want to convey.

 

[Jemini]

This is the story of a young man; on his way to becoming the most dangerous "nobody" in the universe.

While all of those may have been grammatically correct on a technical level, I think this one is probably the only one in the lot that doesn't just look flat out wrong. (That one with all those commas looked especially bad.)

 

[TsumiHokiro]

It is both correct and completely intuitive. I don't know how you look at that and think it sounds weird.

The author probably had an image in their mind when they wrote the sentence, and the sentence does not seem to reflect that image. The question is, which image is this?

 

[TheTrinary]

The author probably had an image in their mind when they wrote the sentence, and the sentence does not seem to reflect that image. The question is, which image is this?

I assumed ESL. ?‍

 

[TsumiHokiro]

I assumed ESL. ?‍

They might be, even EFL... but even if none of those, I just follow the maxima: "assume the worst."

 

[Redadam04]

This is the story of a young man on his way to becoming the most dangerous "nobody" in the universe.

I ask because I think the sentence sounds strange.

According to Grammarly, however, it is correct.

It's fine.