Is This Clear and Easy Enough to Understand?

[Valmond]

 

[MasterY001]

It's clear enough to understand what you're offering. ~8/10. I could recommend some changes to make it more professional-sounding, but I'm not sure if that's what you want.

 

[Valmond]

It's clear enough to understand what you're offering. ~8/10. I could recommend some changes to make it more professional-sounding, but I'm not sure if that's what you want.

Cool, I am still tweaking it. This is like the 6th version. ?

Give me ideas, I can always go through them.

 

[RainyLiquid]

It looks good I think.

 

[Valmond]

It looks good I think.

I figured it is best to get things as clear as I can, while also leaving room for changes.

 

[MasterY001]

Cool, I am still tweaking it. This is like the 6th version. ?

Give me ideas, I can always go through them.

I recommend that you remove the member and follower count at the top since it's redundant. You should also remove the "only for personal reading" part under "Benefits" for the same reason. By asking people not to distribute your work, it implies it's for personal use only.

The third bullet point under "Benefits" can be written more concisely like so: "Access to partial WIP draft scenes on Patreon."

Also, the title of the second section can be written as: Stories for This Tier (Avaliable on Discord)

Instead of separating your "Note" and "Disclaimer," you can write all your conditions under "Disclaimer." I'd also bold and underline that whole section to make it more noticeable.

You should also move "What's Included" to the top and don't capitalize every word. Since it's related to "Benefits," they should be together.

 

[Valmond]

Like this?

Also, can’t underline, so made the disclaimer larger. Price point is also at $3.

@MasterY001

 

[Arkus86]

They way it's phrased, it sounds like full chapters/full books are only available on Discord, while Patreon has only partial drafts?

 

[Valmond]

@Arkus86

Is this clearer?

 

[Arkus86]

@Arkus86

Is this clearer?View attachment 39730View attachment 39731

Yep, I would say that does the trick.

 

[Valmond]

Yep, I would say that does the trick.

Thanks, really appreciate the feedback.

I made one small addition. I clarified below to identify what is on Patreon so it doesn’t get confused with Discord. And one extra small thing, that the draft scenes will not go past chapter 5.