Is this a good synopsis? Would you want to read this story?

[Vnator]

Is it too long? Are there not enough details? Do I come off as condescending or like I'm looking down on something you enjoy? Sure, it's a dumb story that got out of hand from the one-off shitpost it originally started out as, but I want to make sure anyone who might be interested takes at least a quick look at what's inside. Also, is there something about it that gives you a feeling that the story won't be what you're looking for, and what is it so I can fix the synopsis if the story isn't actually like that? Thanks y'all!

Also, here's an alternative description that's much shorter and hopefully gets across the point better:

A progression litrpg with surprisingly little to no actual NTR or smut!

A decent guy ends up in a world out of an NTR story/porno, and tries to build himself a peaceful life despite the sexual insanity all around him. But that becomes hard when the System he’s given starts pushing increasingly bizarre and horny happenings his way. Follow 19 year old Chuck Bachman in his quest to carve out a living in a paradoxical place where all he wants to do is catch a break!

Cover:

A progression litrpg with surprisingly little to no actual NTR or smut!

19 year old Chuck Bachman hit rock bottom, but on the journey back to a decent life, he was interrupted by a sudden transmigration. He found himself in the body of a man walking in on his girlfriend cheating on him in a world where such an occurrence was pretty common, with cheaters and victims being everywhere!

Instead of falling into despair or embracing the strange setting, Chuck accepted this as a brand new chance at life and rejected everything holding him back! His sort-of now ex-girlfriend, his dead-end job, and the adultery leveling system he somehow obtained through all of this! Well, maybe not that last one, except when it came to how it was intended to be used.

When a man has nothing left to lose in a world that encourages cheating, he’ll learn to cheat the world itself.


Ever find a story with an amazing synopsis, but they drop the NTR bomb on you at the very end? This story is based on that frustration as I have felt it, so stick around for some vindication! And yes, the plot and premise of the world is pretty dumb, but so is this story. Have fun!

This story ISN’T me just mindlessly bashing the fetish the entire time. It’ll be exploring the social and ethical ramifications of a society built around the NTR/porn cinematic universe, and how a non-coomer humorously navigates it.

 

[Zirrboy]

Name him Cuck and we're talking.

But on a serious note: The "That process became much more complicated"part is the most disruptive one. I have no ready fix, though

 

[RepresentingCaution]

It’ll be exploring the social and ethical ramifications

Approved

 

[greyblob]

cover is horrendous and the author's note should come after the actual synopsis imo.
that said the synopsis itself is uninviting. but that might just be me

That process became much more complicated when he was transmigrated to the body of a man walking in on his girlfriend cheating on him.

Instead of letting the sight break him any further

what sight exactly? two strangers fucking?

What’s more, the world he ended up in was one where such an event was entirely common, with both men and women holding little value for the idea of faithfulness despite expecting it out of their partners.

then there's no actual cheating or NTR here, just backwards poly

 

[Deleted member 58005]

Damn. Its an ugly bastard.

 

[Vnator]

Name him Cuck and we're talking.

But on a serious note: The "That process became much more complicated"part is the most disruptive one. I have no ready fix, though

Yup, writing synopses is my weakness which is why I'm asking :P

cover is horrendous and the author's note should come after the actual synopsis imo.
that said the synopsis itself is uninviting. but that might just be me

That process became much more complicated when he was transmigrated to the body of a man walking in on his girlfriend cheating on him.

Instead of letting the sight break him any further

what sight exactly? two strangers fucking?

What’s more, the world he ended up in was one where such an event was entirely common, with both men and women holding little value for the idea of faithfulness despite expecting it out of their partners.

then there's no actual cheating or NTR here, just backwards poly

The cover's mainly to get people's attention and have them think "wtf? I'm going to check this out." He kind of looks like the lovechild between Mr. Bean and scary Bilbo, and I that got a laugh out of me.

I'll probably cut the "instead of letting the sight break him any further" part, now that I'm taking a third look at it, it comes off as a bit of an overreaction without context that isn't in the synopsis.

And as far as I'm aware NTR is essentially adultery, right? The world has a lot of adultery going on, but I'm not sure how to describe it in that case. Maybe should I just say "a world where you can find cheaters around every street corner" or something like that?

And thanks for replying! What you've pointed out already helps me out a ton!

Damn. Its an ugly bastard.

Yep! Mr. Bean and Scary Bilbo's kid, all grown up!

 

[RepresentingCaution]

But I had another thought while breastfeeding . . . will you also explore polyamory as an alternative to NTR?

What’s more, the world he ended up in was one where such an event was entirely common, with both men and women holding little value for the idea of faithfulness despite expecting it out of their partners.

then there's no actual cheating or NTR here, just backwards poly

I wouldn't call that poly. I'd call it unethical nonmonogamy.

 

[Vnator]

the author's note should come after the actual synopsis imo.

Also, the reason I put the notes first was to describe the kind of story this is to those who might be looking for or be chased away by an adultery-based romance, since that's not at all what the story is.

 

[greyblob]

The cover's mainly to get people's attention and have them think "wtf? I'm going to check this out." He kind of looks like the lovechild between Mr. Bean and scary Bilbo, and I that got a laugh out of me.

I'll probably cut the "instead of letting the sight break him any further" part, now that I'm taking a third look at it, it comes off as a bit of an overreaction without context that isn't in the synopsis.

And as far as I'm aware NTR is essentially adultery, right? The world has a lot of adultery going on, but I'm not sure how to describe it in that case. Maybe should I just say "a world where you can find cheaters around every street corner" or something like that?

And thanks for replying! What you've pointed out already helps me out a ton!

the cover makes me feel very uncomfortable. I honestly have no idea why. though, I think most people would just find it bizarre.

the thing about ntr/adultery is that there's a victim. that's where the juicy drama is. what you did was strip what made thise genre popular by removing its essential flavour.

and now that I thought about it, the synopsis comes off as a somewhat serious, highly dramatic story about a depressed/struggling guy. which is probably why I found it unappealing. mostly personal bias.

Also, the reason I put the notes first was to describe the kind of story this is to those who might be looking for or be chased away by an adultery-based romance, since that's not at all what the story is.

maybe just a short line at the beginning and continue it down below? your first two paragraphs are exposition. you're overestimating readers' attention span

 

[CupcakeNinja]

Is it too long? Are there not enough details? Do I come off as condescending or like I'm looking down on something you enjoy? Sure, it's a dumb story that got out of hand from the one-off shitpost it originally started out as, but I want to make sure anyone who might be interested takes at least a quick look at what's inside. Also, is there something about it that gives you a feeling that the story won't be what you're looking for, and what is it so I can fix the synopsis if the story isn't actually like that? Thanks y'all!

i wouldnt read it just because of the title. NTR is a great fetish, yall are just vanilla fags.

that aside, the synopsis...why wouldn't I read the story? Because I simply don't agree with the synopsis presented. Or rather, the whole idea is wrong? Like, In a world like what you tell it is, none of that is NTR....its basically open relationships at that point. Its commonly accepted to "cheat" on your partner? Then its not even cheating, its just a societal norm.

Why would anyone even get sad or angry over finding their lover in the bed with someone else, then? It doesn't make much sense for a native of that world to get upset over it. If the did, i would call it either a plot hole or bullshit. Acting all heart broken just for the sake of the fetish.

Only someone from our world would have problems with being punted into a different world where being cheated on is common sense.

But hell, me? If i were in that situation? I wouldn't give a damn about finding "my" lover cheating on me. First off, i just got to that world. Its not even my body or my girlfriend, i have no emotional attachment....so why would i be upset? It just would seem like a damn good opportunity for me to fuck around with whoever i want and not have every white knight incel getting mad at me for being a cheater, calling me a manwhore or whatever.

Anyway, yeah. The synopsis just doesn't make logical sense to me since i feel the MC is basically just pushing his own ideals onto that world. NTR is common there, so it seems like the only one who has a problem is him. He's really gonna get mad over NTR in a world where he doesn't even have any emotional attachments to anyone? Like bro, chill. Go get your dick sucked and realize you've entered the Promised Land.

I mean, it sucks if you're big on monogamy but there's bound to be people who think the same way even in a world like that. So just go find them, know what i mean?

 

[Maldon]

Honestly the setting just sounds like a generic porn world where everyone is fucking instead of a dig at NTR

 

[Vnator]

the cover makes me feel very uncomfortable. I honestly have no idea why. though, I think most people would just find it bizarre.

the thing about ntr/adultery is that there's a victim. that's where the juicy drama is. what you did was strip what made thise genre popular by removing its essential flavour.

and now that I thought about it, the synopsis comes off as a somewhat serious, highly dramatic story about a depressed/struggling guy. which is probably why I found it unappealing. mostly personal bias.


maybe just a short line at the beginning and continue it down below? your first two paragraphs are exposition. you're overestimating readers' attention span

I guess uncomfortable was what I was going for with what I asked the artist. Ugly bastards are pretty uncomfortable, and the crossed out circle is supposed to be denying them. I'll poll other peoples' opinions, and maybe change it in the future if it would push too many people away.

Thanks for letting me know what people find juicy about NTR! As someone who personally loathes the genre, I figured having too much of a focus on victims suffering in the synopsis would drive a lot of the targeted audience away, but there still is drama in the story itself to the extent it explores its ramifications. I'll see if I can get that across in the synopsis as well.

I guess I do spend too much time talking about his struggles, and not enough emphasis on how the story is about him finding a new and happier life for himself in this world, despite the new challenges it poses him.

And I'll probably add that first bolded line about how there's no actual NTR or smut in the story, and then the rest of it at the end. Thanks!

i wouldnt read it just because of the title. NTR is a great fetish, yall are just vanilla fags.

that aside, the synopsis...why wouldn't I read the story? Because I simply don't agree with the synopsis presented. Or rather, the whole idea is wrong? Like, In a world like what you tell it is, none of that is NTR....its basically open relationships at that point. Its commonly accepted to "cheat" on your partner? Then its not even cheating, its just a societal norm.

Why would anyone even get sad or angry over finding their lover in the bed with someone else, then? It doesn't make much sense for a native of that world to get upset over it. If the did, i would call it either a plot hole or bullshit. Acting all heart broken just for the sake of the fetish.

Only someone from our world would have problems with being punted into a different world where being cheated on is common sense.

But hell, me? If i were in that situation? I wouldn't give a damn about finding "my" lover cheating on me. First off, i just got to that world. Its not even my body or my girlfriend, i have no emotional attachment....so why would i be upset? It just would seem like a damn good opportunity for me to fuck around with whoever i want and not have every white knight incel getting mad at me for being a cheater, calling me a manwhore or whatever.

Anyway, yeah. The synopsis just doesn't make logical sense to me since i feel the MC is basically just pushing his own ideals onto that world. NTR is common there, so it seems like the only one who has a problem is him. He's really gonna get mad over NTR in a world where he doesn't even have any emotional attachments to anyone? Like bro, chill. Go get your dick sucked and realize you've entered the Promised Land.

I mean, it sucks if you're big on monogamy but there's bound to be people who think the same way even in a world like that. So just go find them, know what i mean?

You know what? That's fair! The place really would be a wonderland for tons of people, you included! But the target audience of the story is people who dislike the genre or just want to take a deep dive into how such a paradoxical world would operate. I should probably add that line to the synopsis. I don't see how I could be upset when the self-proclaimed NTR-deity isn't too happy with the premise

Honestly the setting just sounds like a generic porn world where everyone is fucking instead of a dig at NTR

Yup, changed the synopsis slightly to say that the world is full of cheaters instead of describing the paradoxical nature in detail. But I guess a bit of my inspiration came from the erogamer, but with much less smut and taking place in a world that was already that way.

 

[Dajoe1234]

Is it too long? Are there not enough details? Do I come off as condescending or like I'm looking down on something you enjoy? Sure, it's a dumb story that got out of hand from the one-off shitpost it originally started out as, but I want to make sure anyone who might be interested takes at least a quick look at what's inside. Also, is there something about it that gives you a feeling that the story won't be what you're looking for, and what is it so I can fix the synopsis if the story isn't actually like that? Thanks y'all!

I would read that. Guys with hotwives are cuck.

 

[CupcakeNinja]

Approved

I guess uncomfortable was what I was going for with what I asked the artist. Ugly bastards are pretty uncomfortable, and the crossed out circle is supposed to be denying them. I'll poll other peoples' opinions, and maybe change it in the future if it would push too many people away.

Thanks for letting me know what people find juicy about NTR! As someone who personally loathes the genre, I figured having too much of a focus on victims suffering in the synopsis would drive a lot of the targeted audience away, but there still is drama in the story itself to the extent it explores its ramifications. I'll see if I can get that across in the synopsis as well.

I guess I do spend too much time talking about his struggles, and not enough emphasis on how the story is about him finding a new and happier life for himself in this world, despite the new challenges it poses him.

And I'll probably add that first bolded line about how there's no actual NTR or smut in the story, and then the rest of it at the end. Thanks!

You know what? That's fair! The place really would be a wonderland for tons of people, you included! But the target audience of the story is people who dislike the genre or just want to take a deep dive into how such a paradoxical world would operate. I should probably add that line to the synopsis. I don't see how I could be upset when the self-proclaimed NTR-deity isn't too happy with the premise

Yup, changed the synopsis slightly to say that the world is full of cheaters instead of describing the paradoxical nature in detail. But I guess a bit of my inspiration came from the erogamer, but with much less smut and taking place in a world that was already that way.

no, i understand that, but the problem is its a normal, non-manwhore dude in a world of thots and alpha chad he-sluts.

MC cant just walk up in that world pushing his own ideals onto the world, acting like THEY are the problem. He also cant pretend he's, you know, mad on behalf of someone who got cheated on...cuz everyone does it.

If it were me, i'd write him more careless about the situation. Maybe a bit pissed off because all he wants is a loyal girl to spoil and marry, but he has to deal with all these cheating thots....but I wouldn't write it in a way that people feel he'd crying over other people's affairs. I'd just have him do his own thing and if he ends up cheated on later, he's gonna slap a bitch.

 

[Vnator]

no, i understand that, but the problem is its a normal, non-manwhore dude in a world of thots and alpha chad he-sluts.

MC cant just walk up in that world pushing his own ideals onto the world, acting like THEY are the problem. He also cant pretend he's, you know, mad on behalf of someone who got cheated on...cuz everyone does it.

If it were me, i'd write him more careless about the situation. Maybe a bit pissed off because all he wants is a loyal girl to spoil and marry, but he has to deal with all these cheating thots....but I wouldn't write it in a way that people feel he'd crying over other people's affairs. I'd just have him do his own thing and if he ends up cheated on later, he's gonna slap a bitch.

That's exactly what I'm going for! He tries to mind his own business and later find a girl who's right for him, but along the way as he simply tries setting up his new life, he runs into all sorts of bizarre scenarios that he's forced to react to.

Like one where he's trying to set up a bank account but the teller says that her boss is blackmailing her to fuck her husband, but the main character can take his place instead. He wants to help the teller, but doesn't want to have sex with a known sexual blackmailer, so he helps them unionize instead! But they misunderstood him and came to the union meeting prepared for an orgy, and the meeting later turns into one anyway as the main character leaves. I try to play all of this for laughs, too.

I had an idea that later on in the story, the main character would try to push against how everyone cheats, but it biting him in the ass because of the exact reasoning you stated.

Looks like this is definitely something I need to work into the description/synopsis, thanks for helping me realize that!

 

[CupcakeNinja]

That's exactly what I'm going for! He tries to mind his own business and later find a girl who's right for him, but along the way as he simply tries setting up his new life, he runs into all sorts of bizarre scenarios that he's forced to react to.

Like one where he's trying to set up a bank account but the teller says that her boss is blackmailing her to fuck her husband, but the main character can take his place instead. He wants to help the teller, but doesn't want to have sex with a known sexual blackmailer, so he helps them unionize instead! But they misunderstood him and came to the union meeting prepared for an orgy, and the meeting later turns into one anyway as the main character leaves. I try to play all of this for laughs, too.

I had an idea that later on in the story, the main character would try to push against how everyone cheats, but it biting him in the ass because of the exact reasoning you stated.

Looks like this is definitely something I need to work into the description/synopsis, thanks for helping me realize that!

you know that actually sounds familiar, i think I saw a thread about this before. Anyway, if the angle is that people are using sex as tools for leverage and corruption, it could work. I would change the synopsis to where instead of saying cheating is the social norm, its a world rampant with scum who take advantage of status or wealth to strongarm others into giving their bodies.

Why would I word it like that? Cuz the example you used makes it seem like the world is just a bunch of horny cucks who get off on orgies or being sexually assaulted or blackmailing others. Basically, all of them are degenerates so there's no good or bad or innocent.

I guess it depends on which you are going for tho, serious or comedic. Your example seems to indicate its a more comedy oriented story, which I like.

I would just write the synopsis in a way that more clearly states that. Like that example, i'd work it into the synopsis.

Like, Hmm? What do you mean, your boss is blackmailing you for sex?....what do you mean, I can take your place? I'm just trying to set up a bank account, oi!

Having met such unreasonable nonsense, I quickly unionized these poor souls to stand against this blatant abuse of power!... Except, why is everyone stripping? This is a meeting, not an orgy!

or something like that. Anyway, yeah. I like the story more now that I feel its a comedy oriented one instead of being serious. Like I said, it felt like the MC was just gonna be moaning about something that's just a societal norm. Which was kinda annoying. But him getting into shenanigans instead and being fed up with the crazy logic conjured up by a bunch of horny degenerate? Now THAT seems fun. I can get behind something like that lol

 

[Vnator]

you know that actually sounds familiar, i think I saw a thread about this before. Anyway, if the angle is that people are using sex as tools for leverage and corruption, it could work. I would change the synopsis to where instead of saying cheating is the social norm, its a world rampant with scum who take advantage of status or wealth to strongarm others into giving their bodies.

Why would I word it like that? Cuz the example you used makes it seem like the world is just a bunch of horny cucks who get off on orgies or being sexually assaulted or blackmailing others. Basically, all of them are degenerates so there's no good or bad or innocent.

I guess it depends on which you are going for tho, serious or comedic. Your example seems to indicate its a more comedy oriented story, which I like.

I would just write the synopsis in a way that more clearly states that. Like that example, i'd work it into the synopsis.

Like, Hmm? What do you mean, your boss is blackmailing you for sex?....what do you mean, I can take your place? I'm just trying to set up a bank account, oi!

Having met such unreasonable nonsense, I quickly unionized these poor souls to stand against this blatant abuse of power!... Except, why is everyone stripping? This is a meeting, not an orgy!

or something like that. Anyway, yeah. I like the story more now that I feel its a comedy oriented one instead of being serious. Like I said, it felt like the MC was just gonna be moaning about something that's just a societal norm. Which was kinda annoying. But him getting into shenanigans instead and being fed up with the crazy logic conjured up by a bunch of horny degenerate? Now THAT seems fun. I can get behind something like that lol

Sweet! Writing story descriptions is my biggest weakness honestly, so thanks for pointing out how I can make the description a lot less serious and better fitting for the comedy that it is! For the most part, the people in the world really are just a bunch of horny bastards, but that comes with a lot more of the scummy types mixed in and in power. So as you said, it's all about the main character getting mixed up in shenanigans while trying to be boring.

Here's my new synopsis based on your advice. What do you think?

A progression litrpg with surprisingly little to no actual NTR or smut!

A decent guy ends up in the NTR/Porn cinematic universe where cheating is the social norm. It’s a world rampant with scum who take advantage of wealth and status to strongarm others into giving their bodies, along with a bunch of simple, horny idiots who just want to satisfy their urges.

With the power of the System, he too can take part in it… if he didn’t just want to live a normal life. But it seems that the world around him and the mysterious power he’s been granted won’t make it easy.

“Your boss is blackmailing you to have sex with your husband? And you want me to take your place? Lady, I’m just here to open a bank account!”

“I figured helping you all unionize would be the best way to keep this terrible abuse of power from happening again. So why the hell are you all stripping?! This is a meeting, not an orgy!”

Follow 19 year old Chuck Bachman in his quest to carve out a mundane existence in such a bizarre place when all he wants to do is catch a break!

Ever find a story with an amazing synopsis, but they drop the NTR bomb on you at the very end? This story is based on that frustration as I have felt it, so stick around for some vindication! And yes, the plot and premise of the world is pretty dumb, but so is this story. Have fun!

This story ISN’T me just mindlessly bashing the fetish the entire time. It’ll be exploring the social and ethical ramifications of a society built around NTR/porn logic, and how a non-coomer humorously navigates it.

 

[CupcakeNinja]

Sweet! Writing story descriptions is my biggest weakness honestly, so thanks for pointing out how I can make the description a lot less serious and better fitting for the comedy that it is! For the most part, the people in the world really are just a bunch of horny bastards, but that comes with a lot more of the scummy types mixed in and in power. So as you said, it's all about the main character getting mixed up in shenanigans while trying to be boring.

Here's my new synopsis based on your advice. What do you think?

pretty good! i just took the liberty to make a few changes. I added a couple minor details I felt would help readers understand the kind of person the MC is better. Feel free to change them as you see fit.

Spoiler

[protagonist's name] is a rather decent chap. Pays his bills on time, recycles, puts the shopping cart back in it's intended location. Hell, even his porn history is as vanilla as they come. So needless to say, being punted into a world rampant with scum who take advantage of wealth and status to strongarm others into giving their bodies, not to mention teeming with a bunch of simple, horny degenerates who just want to satisfy their urges....well, lets just say that wasn't exactly what he'd call a good time

Luckily, with the power of a certain System, he, too, can take part in the fun!… if only he didn’t just want to live a normal life. Find a nice girl, settle down, have a few kids and maybe spending his twilight years quietly in the countryside to stare at beautiful sunsets.

...Yeah, that sounds nice.

Unfortunately, it seems that the world around him and the mysterious power he’s been granted won’t make that dream easy to achieve.

“Your boss is blackmailing you to have sex with your husband? And you want me to take your place? Lady, I’m just here to open a bank account!”

“I figured helping you all unionize would be the best way to keep this terrible abuse of power from happening again. So why the hell are you all stripping?! This is a meeting, not an orgy!”

Follow 19 year old Chuck in his quest to carve out an existence in a bizarre, hedonistic hell when all he wants is to catch a break!

Ever find a story with an amazing synopsis, but they drop the NTR bomb on you at the very end? This story is based on that frustration as I have felt it, so stick around for some vindication! And yes, the plot and premise of the world is pretty dumb, but so is this story. Have fun!

This story ISN’T me just mindlessly bashing the fetish the entire time. It’ll be exploring the social and ethical ramifications of a society built around NTR/porn logic, and how a non-coomer humorously navigates it.

 

[Vnator]

pretty good! i just took the liberty to make a few changes. I added a couple minor details I felt would help readers understand the kind of person the MC is better. Feel free to change them as you see fit.

Spoiler

[protagonist's name] is a rather decent chap. Pays his bills on time, recycles, puts the shopping cart back in it's intended location. Hell, even his porn history is as vanilla as they come. So needless to say, being punted into a world rampant with scum who take advantage of wealth and status to strongarm others into giving their bodies, not to mention teeming with a bunch of simple, horny degenerates who just want to satisfy their urges....well, lets just say that wasn't exactly what he'd call a good time

Luckily, with the power of a certain System, he, too, can take part in the fun!… if only he didn’t just want to live a normal life. Find a nice girl, settle down, have a few kids and maybe spending his twilight years quietly in the countryside to stare at beautiful sunsets.

...Yeah, that sounds nice.

Unfortunately, it seems that the world around him and the mysterious power he’s been granted won’t make that dream easy to achieve.

“Your boss is blackmailing you to have sex with your husband? And you want me to take your place? Lady, I’m just here to open a bank account!”

“I figured helping you all unionize would be the best way to keep this terrible abuse of power from happening again. So why the hell are you all stripping?! This is a meeting, not an orgy!”

Follow 19 year old Chuck in his quest to carve out an existence in a bizarre, hedonistic hell when all he wants is to catch a break!

Ever find a story with an amazing synopsis, but they drop the NTR bomb on you at the very end? This story is based on that frustration as I have felt it, so stick around for some vindication! And yes, the plot and premise of the world is pretty dumb, but so is this story. Have fun!

This story ISN’T me just mindlessly bashing the fetish the entire time. It’ll be exploring the social and ethical ramifications of a society built around NTR/porn logic, and how a non-coomer humorously navigates it.

Love it! I'm probably going to do a bit more editing to it before I get it working though. Thanks for all the help!