Is the prose too dry/is the exposition too much/anything I can improve on?

[ElijahRyne]

Went through rereading a couple older chapters, and got the feeling that my writing was to much: I did this, then this, because this, which reminds me of this. Instead of slowing down and bringing you through the character and world. It felt simultaneously like I was going too fast, and not fast enough. Your thoughts?

Gullnain

A city where secrets lie chained to its dead foundation. None who touch those chains can survive long. Yet, all things wither away eventually those chains too will rot. Just what though will metamorpihize from it.

www.scribblehub.com

 

[Deleted member 84247]

Went through rereading a couple older chapters, and got the feeling that my writing was to much: I did this, then this, because this, which reminds me of this. Instead of slowing down and bringing you through the character and world. It felt simultaneously like I was going too fast, and not fast enough. Your thoughts?

Gullnain

A city where secrets lie chained to its dead foundation. None who touch those chains can survive long. Yet, all things wither away eventually those chains too will rot. Just what though will metamorpihize from it.

www.scribblehub.com

I have talked about this in my feedback thread several times. It doesn't make for an enjoyable reading experience.

"I went to the store. Then I grabbed some milk. Next I went home." It is bland, but I am not sure if that is what you are referring to.

I have talked about this in my feedback thread several times. It doesn't make for an enjoyable reading experience.

"I went to the store. Then I grabbed some milk. Next I went home." It is bland, but I am not sure if that is what you are referring to.

Ignore what I said. I didn't read it, and I didn't realize you were asking for a specific story feedback.

 

[ElijahRyne]

I have talked about this in my feedback thread several times. It doesn't make for an enjoyable reading experience.

"I went to the store. Then I grabbed some milk. Next I went home." It is bland, but I am not sure if that is what you are referring to.

Ignore what I said. I didn't read it, and I didn't realize you were asking for a specific story feedback.

No problem