immersion breaks

[Carrigan2121]

what are some things which breaks your immersion or bothers you while reading a story/novel? it could be something as petty as a grammatical error lol

 

[RepresentingWrath]

Simping for no reason.

 

[Corty]

Modern slang terms in any situation except a contemporary story. But even then, it is very situation-dependent. Especially if we are talking about bussin' zoomervocabularyy.

 

[CharlesEBrown]

It's never one thing but little things add up - a lot of grammar errors, serious plot holes, etc. I'll give the first few a pass but ... it adds up and eventually just makes me lose interest.


Though there is one book I was never able to BECOME immersed in - The Worm Ouroboros by E. R. Eddings - he actually writes part of it in second person, and makes "you," the reader, an observer of the story. A kind of cool device, but it puts a level of detachment in there that means I never get any attachment to the actual characters.

 

[RoyalTime]

The unnecessary gaps?

 

[ThisAdamGuy]

Present tense narration. It adds literally nothing to a story. I'm not saying a good story can't be told with it, but any story that's good in present tense would equally as good or better in past tense. As it is, it's used almost exclusively by pretentious "I am not a mere author like you, I am an ARTIST!" types who desperately want people to think they're edgy and different, but aren't good enough to actually stand out, so they change "he walked across the room" to "he walks across the room" and then pat themselves on the back for how outstandingly out-of-the-box they are.

 

[Mystic_Grasshopper]

Present tense narration. It adds literally nothing to a story. I'm not saying a good story can't be told with it, but any story that's good in present tense would equally as good or better in past tense. As it is, it's used almost exclusively by pretentious "I am not a mere author like you, I am an ARTIST!" types who desperately want people to think they're edgy and different, but aren't good enough to actually stand out, so they change "he walked across the room" to "he walks across the room" and then pat themselves on the back for how outstandingly out-of-the-box they are.

Even when it's first person?

 

[ThisAdamGuy]

Even when it's first person?

Yes

 

[Fox-Trot-9]

Present tense narration. It adds literally nothing to a story. I'm not saying a good story can't be told with it, but any story that's good in present tense would equally as good or better in past tense. As it is, it's used almost exclusively by pretentious "I am not a mere author like you, I am an ARTIST!" types who desperately want people to think they're edgy and different, but aren't good enough to actually stand out, so they change "he walked across the room" to "he walks across the room" and then pat themselves on the back for how outstandingly out-of-the-box they are.

Present tense tends to be more restrictive in narration, while past tends is more flexible. It depends on the kind of story it is and what you do with it, but yeah, it can come across as highly pretentious.

Y. S. Wong's ORCHID is a fair example of 3rd person present tense narration on FictionPress that had me on the edge of my seat: https://www.fictionpress.com/s/3090625/1/ORCHID

Daniel H. Wilson's Robopocalypse use a 1st person variety of present tense across multiple narrators that also had me on the edge of my seat. Hell, even Charles Dickens' Bleak House uses present tense narration in the third-person chapters of that book. Just because it's not everyone's cup of tea doesn't mean it can't be done well, which you've mentioned.

 

[BigBadBoi]

Currency. Dunno why but shitty currency conversion makes me seethe. WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN A GOLD COIN IS ONLY WORTH A HUNDRED FUCKING COPPER COINS! I don't care if the story doesn't focus on money it's a red flag for me personally if the author can't even make the most basic explanation for currency.

 

[Spacerunner357]

what are some things which breaks your immersion or bothers you while reading a story/novel? it could be something as petty as a grammatical error lol

Ehh i haven't really found anything that bothers me

Currency. Dunno why but shitty currency conversion makes me seethe. WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN A GOLD COIN IS ONLY WORTH A HUNDRED FUCKING COPPER COINS! I don't care if the story doesn't focus on money it's a red flag for me personally if the author can't even make the most basic explanation for currency.

What story:s: have done that? If you want to Say

 

[ShrimpShady]

Present tense narration. It adds literally nothing to a story. I'm not saying a good story can't be told with it, but any story that's good in present tense would equally as good or better in past tense. As it is, it's used almost exclusively by pretentious "I am not a mere author like you, I am an ARTIST!" types who desperately want people to think they're edgy and different, but aren't good enough to actually stand out, so they change "he walked across the room" to "he walks across the room" and then pat themselves on the back for how outstandingly out-of-the-box they are.

I mostly write in past tense, but I've never understood this sentiment. Past or present tense just reads the same for me. Shit's completely invisible most of the time ?‍

 

[Deleted member 84247]

When a character breaks character in an unsatisfying way. Or a character who says they're going to live a slow life this time, but end up letting everyone take advantage of them over and over without growing at all.

 

[unlaumy]

MC having sexual tension with almost every female character in the story.

 

[ShrimpShady]

what are some things which breaks your immersion or bothers you while reading a story/novel? it could be something as petty as a grammatical error lol

When they get binomial nomenclature wrong. It's Genus species, for fuck's sake.

That, and when a character prefaces their exposition dump with a warning that they will talk at length. Like, just shove it in at this point, bro. I already know what's coming.

 

[Valmond]

When a character breaks character in an unsatisfying way. Or a character who says they're going to live a slow life this time, but end up letting everyone take advantage of them over and over without growing at all.

I have a feeling I know why the witch got their PFP.

 

[ignova]

When immortal god-beings talk like teenagers.

 

[Valmond]

I mostly write in past tense, but I've never understood this sentiment. Past or present tense just reads the same for me. Shit's completely invisible most of the time ?‍

Think of it more as the normal. Past tense is the most common thing, so that’s what people associate with. If it was reverse, they’d say the same thing.

However, each has their uses, and can create a different experience depending. Similarly speaking, if past or present is not refined, it will not come across well.

This does not change. Though, the types of stories that can be told when refined changes. As in, the way it is told.

 

[RepresentingCaution]

Characters become parents and go about their usual badass lives mere hours or days after the birth.

 

[John_Owl]

Currency. Dunno why but shitty currency conversion makes me seethe. WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN A GOLD COIN IS ONLY WORTH A HUNDRED FUCKING COPPER COINS! I don't care if the story doesn't focus on money it's a red flag for me personally if the author can't even make the most basic explanation for currency.

I actually have a sort of explanation for most of these. It's largely based on the amount of each metal available to the kingdom. Beyond that, it's largely arbitrary. Though I do agree that gold should have large and small denominations. Large gold and small gold coins. And make it a little more reasonable. Instead of 100-1 all the way up, make it something like 10 copper is 1 silver, 50 silver is one small gold, 5 small gold is 1 large gold. obviously not real amounts, but just as a numerical example.

But yeah, the conversion is largely arbitrary - 1 quarter is 25 pennies. Why? Is 1 quarter inherently worth the same materials as 25 pennies? Five nickels? Nope. No real reason for it. the specific currency, the kingdom are the ones that decide how much each one can be split into. That said, look more at buying power - in the royal city, 5 small gold would likely have far less buying power than in a poor farming village. Meanwhile, in an area with true scarcity, food might be MUCH more valuable than any amount of inedible coins.

Which leads into my pet peeve. When and item costs X in a remote farming village and has the EXACT same value in the royal capital.