I'm participating in a contest, could you tell me how my story is going?

[Erdin_Vil]

I'm taking part in a competition, could you tell me how my story is?

https://www.scribblehub.com/series/1111585/unwanted-scar/

Have I done too much exposition or used the narrator too much to explain what's going on? and how are the characters' dialogues?
thank you in advance for your attention!

 

[Erdin_Vil]

I'm taking part in a competition, could you tell me how my story is?

https://www.scribblehub.com/series/1111585/unwanted-scar/

Have I done too much exposition or used the narrator too much to explain what's going on? and how are the characters' dialogues?
thank you in advance for your attention!

 

[Zenomew]

I feel there should be more explanation on why goblins and humans are fighting in the first place also maybe you can include stuff like cultural differences or mabey humans are defiling the forest

 

[Verdant]

Overall quite a strong first chapter. It’s concise yet engaging and detailed. Nothing feels like it goes on too long or too short—just the perfect length and pacing—.
Very good grammar and the usage of “lol” is funny.
I will say that when the characters speak, you should use quotation marks instead of dash lines. Also have some or most of the character dialogue begin or start with “[character] says this..”
Also great synopsis!

 

[Erdin_Vil]

I feel there should be more explanation on why goblins and humans are fighting in the first place also maybe you can include stuff like cultural differences or mabey humans are defiling the forest

Thank you for your comment
I'm going to talk about the conflict in the next chapter (chapter 2), so I guess it wouldn't be a problem, right?

 

[MasFaqih]

Why do goblin so op lol.

 

[shadowniy]

It's probably just me but I keep getting hung up on this section

— I'll, no problem, it's much better this way, the fewer people fighting the better.