Garolymar
Active member
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- Jan 31, 2025
- Messages
- 170
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- 43
So, I think my story has reached a decent point where the characters are developed beyond just an introduction, the plot has swept the main trio into the grander events, and there are breadcrumbs in the earlier chapters that get answered later to help establish the flow of what's to come. But I don’t know, it’s mostly just been what I think and what my one friend thinks. I’d really love an outsider’s perspective. I have my own issues with the story, and I’d like to know how severe they actually are compared to how I perceive them. I tend to be pretty pessimistic, so maybe the problems aren’t as bad as I think?
For my own interest, and for anyone who wants to see what I think the problems are without actually reading, I’m going to put a spoiler. If you do plan to read it, I’d love for you to avoid the spoiler until afterward so I don’t influence your perspective. That way, I can see how well my concerns align with a reader’s experience.
https://www.scribblehub.com/series/1416630/the-eternal-accord/ Anyways here is the story if you find the time, and thank you in advance if you do read. I really appreciate the time you took out of your day to do so, and if you did enjoy any of it I'm glad, and if it was a slog, I apologize!
For my own interest, and for anyone who wants to see what I think the problems are without actually reading, I’m going to put a spoiler. If you do plan to read it, I’d love for you to avoid the spoiler until afterward so I don’t influence your perspective. That way, I can see how well my concerns align with a reader’s experience.
1. Callahan and Rowan don't really find their voices till later. The MCs are probably the last thing I came up with. Aurelio, the character in Chapter 4, is the first, and I wonder if, when anyone does make it that far, will that be obvious? I do think by Chapter 3 I get a better handle on them and what I want them to be in the future, but I really did mostly just come up with the world, magic system, and general theme of the story first.
2. Chapter 1, in general, I think, suffers from my lack of planning the most. I do like some parts. I think when Rowan starts fighting the wailers, that's a lot of fun. I also really like the wailers in general. They were another thing that I actually planned out and thought really hard about how they work before writing, so I hope that gets through? But the opening scene... eh. I was really just winging it. I do have plans for what that scene represents now, and I think it'll end up turning into something really cool, but at the time, it was really challenging trying to figure out when, where, and how to open the story in the first place.
3. A big question I have to ask, if you did come here after reading, is this: do you think Chapter 1 could work on its own better if it had a prologue? I have a scene in my head where Callahan and Rowan's dynamic is shown more when they were children and Callahan uses his powers for the first time, and I honestly think it'd make a better opening. But I also have an idea of revealing it later, and I'm not sure what to do.
4. Dialogue, in general, I've always had issues with. You'll probably notice it quickly with all the tags. When I wrote when I was younger, I was very messy, and it was always hard to figure out who the hell was talking, so I do maybe take too much precaution and overly tag who is talking and what they're doing while talking. I don't know if it's a huge problem or maybe it's an acceptable style? I would like to know opinions on that. I have read that you should really stick to "said" and "asked," and maybe... maybe that is for the best?
As for the content of the dialogue itself, I think some of it is pretty good. I really love writing for Nyve, and I hope that comes through. Aurelio was fun as well. I do think Callahan and Rowan, at first, suffer, Callahan especially... but maybe not? Maybe I am just too hard on them specifically? I think there are standouts. The scenes in Chapters 4 and 6 I personally think are done really well, but maybe you think differently. It'll be interesting to see where this all lines up if anyone does read it.
5.Exposition, trying to get world lore out is really hard. I do, at times, just spend a paragraph or two explaining a concept, or a place, or how things work, and I'm not really sure if it's messing up the pacing too badly? I do try my best to make it sound interesting and not just the random gibberish I have in my notes. I do try my best to only explain what will be used in the upcoming future. If you end up seeing a blurb about some place, a building, or a concept, you can be sure it'll be used soon. But I do wonder if maybe it's too much.
2. Chapter 1, in general, I think, suffers from my lack of planning the most. I do like some parts. I think when Rowan starts fighting the wailers, that's a lot of fun. I also really like the wailers in general. They were another thing that I actually planned out and thought really hard about how they work before writing, so I hope that gets through? But the opening scene... eh. I was really just winging it. I do have plans for what that scene represents now, and I think it'll end up turning into something really cool, but at the time, it was really challenging trying to figure out when, where, and how to open the story in the first place.
3. A big question I have to ask, if you did come here after reading, is this: do you think Chapter 1 could work on its own better if it had a prologue? I have a scene in my head where Callahan and Rowan's dynamic is shown more when they were children and Callahan uses his powers for the first time, and I honestly think it'd make a better opening. But I also have an idea of revealing it later, and I'm not sure what to do.
4. Dialogue, in general, I've always had issues with. You'll probably notice it quickly with all the tags. When I wrote when I was younger, I was very messy, and it was always hard to figure out who the hell was talking, so I do maybe take too much precaution and overly tag who is talking and what they're doing while talking. I don't know if it's a huge problem or maybe it's an acceptable style? I would like to know opinions on that. I have read that you should really stick to "said" and "asked," and maybe... maybe that is for the best?
As for the content of the dialogue itself, I think some of it is pretty good. I really love writing for Nyve, and I hope that comes through. Aurelio was fun as well. I do think Callahan and Rowan, at first, suffer, Callahan especially... but maybe not? Maybe I am just too hard on them specifically? I think there are standouts. The scenes in Chapters 4 and 6 I personally think are done really well, but maybe you think differently. It'll be interesting to see where this all lines up if anyone does read it.
5.Exposition, trying to get world lore out is really hard. I do, at times, just spend a paragraph or two explaining a concept, or a place, or how things work, and I'm not really sure if it's messing up the pacing too badly? I do try my best to make it sound interesting and not just the random gibberish I have in my notes. I do try my best to only explain what will be used in the upcoming future. If you end up seeing a blurb about some place, a building, or a concept, you can be sure it'll be used soon. But I do wonder if maybe it's too much.
https://www.scribblehub.com/series/1416630/the-eternal-accord/ Anyways here is the story if you find the time, and thank you in advance if you do read. I really appreciate the time you took out of your day to do so, and if you did enjoy any of it I'm glad, and if it was a slog, I apologize!
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