Arch9CivilReactor
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I wanted to share my story idea to see if the initial idea is interesting. It’s not like I need any reassurance that this is good, it’s just that I wanted to flatten out any initial inconsistencies in the beginning plot everything will revolve around.
You guys know how some plot hole from the get-go sticks around and pollutes an entire reading experience? For me, that would be that Manhwa I forgot the name of where the MC was a ‘No Lifer’ gamer (gaming to the point you don’t have a life) + Streamer who eats a lot (forgot what eating streams were called) + well built physically.
The Manhwa was pretty interesting but the initial premise made me constantly unable to concentrate until given an answer to: A) Why is he well-built? B) Why does he move like a UFC fighter in his first battle? C) How can he recognise all the items+monsters when they were apparently made of pixels in his game.
But the most glaringly obvious question was how he was able to effortlessly predict every attack of a living monster (that reacts on instinct) with the attack pattern learned from a computer game?
This question made me drop the story early (I kinda regret not being able to enjoy it because of the vampire waifu that appears later on). The art looks amazing and it seems like the type of story driven with the strength of the characters.
Either way, I wanted to see if there was a problem in my main premise I had yet to think of beforehand. That way I can hammer out the inconsistencies with small changes.
Now… Onto the yapping about the idea.
Originally I was gonna go with ‘Knight’ but I wanted to make the main character not some kind of reader stand-in. He isn’t from Earth and neither is the heroine (since she too is similar to him but from a world that prioritises ’Samurai’).
Both characters are from this fantasy world and there isn’t any focus on the ‘specialness’ of the MC being a Paladin… other than the fact that he is totally crazy about murdering Monsters and had a clear obsession towards knightly chivalry.
The real focus of the story is the ‘Knightly Oath’ he makes to attach himself to a Samurai girl that had helped him out of kindness. This ends up causing a sticky situation since her own ‘Oath’ of a loyal retainer to her master becomes tied to his. It lifts the control her original master had on her, and she uses this to escape his clutches.
Even if it means taking advantage of the Paladin.
The synopsis I came up with is:
(After being ousted from the church and discharged from his duties as a ‘Holy Paladin’ by the Sage, Christopher Truest chose to adopt the life of a vagabond. Unable to find a place to belong due to being raised in solidarity.
In the midst of despair, one helping hand would be all he asked. Someone with virtue he could commit his unused ‘Knightly Oath’ to. Someone he could dedicate his chivalric blessings and loyalty to. He was a man with innocent ideals.
So… why was the woman he found so… Well…
“I’m going to steal, kill, and rob that outpost over there. You can either help… or watch me die a gruesome death from being outnumbered.” She despicable woman he had misjudged. Using his oath against him to commit heinous evil deeds.
Eventually, she forced him to teach his secrets to mere adventurers without proper birthright. How could a man of his calibre teach commoners with such low magic aptitudes? And they wished to go against the academy the Sage attended?
Ludicrous dreams! Insanity! Pure madness!
Was she planning to rebel against the state?
Unknowingly, the paladin ended up raising the finest adventurers. Achieving merits he’d originally never dreamed of. What was the true identity of the woman he’d sworn an oath to?)
—————
Basically, the story is presented from Christopher’s POV early on. The reader isn’t aware of the full picture until later: When the heroine has her real intentions understood. The students clash with students from the academy the ‘Sage’ is part of, then ends with a climactic battle where everyone fights the Demon King.
It’s definitely an ‘Academy’ story but with adventurers, so the students are adults with already matured powers. They don’t have enough ‘noble status’ and the MC is biased from living with priests and long indoctrination.
There is less immaturity but definitely some factional clashes since adults have deeper agendas than teenagers. There is even a ‘student council’ despite these guys all learning at a guild location (because adventurers are chaotic).
Let me know if you guys can see a massive plot hole in this initial idea. Will take it into consideration.
You guys know how some plot hole from the get-go sticks around and pollutes an entire reading experience? For me, that would be that Manhwa I forgot the name of where the MC was a ‘No Lifer’ gamer (gaming to the point you don’t have a life) + Streamer who eats a lot (forgot what eating streams were called) + well built physically.
The Manhwa was pretty interesting but the initial premise made me constantly unable to concentrate until given an answer to: A) Why is he well-built? B) Why does he move like a UFC fighter in his first battle? C) How can he recognise all the items+monsters when they were apparently made of pixels in his game.
But the most glaringly obvious question was how he was able to effortlessly predict every attack of a living monster (that reacts on instinct) with the attack pattern learned from a computer game?
This question made me drop the story early (I kinda regret not being able to enjoy it because of the vampire waifu that appears later on). The art looks amazing and it seems like the type of story driven with the strength of the characters.
Either way, I wanted to see if there was a problem in my main premise I had yet to think of beforehand. That way I can hammer out the inconsistencies with small changes.
Now… Onto the yapping about the idea.
Originally I was gonna go with ‘Knight’ but I wanted to make the main character not some kind of reader stand-in. He isn’t from Earth and neither is the heroine (since she too is similar to him but from a world that prioritises ’Samurai’).
Both characters are from this fantasy world and there isn’t any focus on the ‘specialness’ of the MC being a Paladin… other than the fact that he is totally crazy about murdering Monsters and had a clear obsession towards knightly chivalry.
The real focus of the story is the ‘Knightly Oath’ he makes to attach himself to a Samurai girl that had helped him out of kindness. This ends up causing a sticky situation since her own ‘Oath’ of a loyal retainer to her master becomes tied to his. It lifts the control her original master had on her, and she uses this to escape his clutches.
Even if it means taking advantage of the Paladin.
The synopsis I came up with is:
(After being ousted from the church and discharged from his duties as a ‘Holy Paladin’ by the Sage, Christopher Truest chose to adopt the life of a vagabond. Unable to find a place to belong due to being raised in solidarity.
In the midst of despair, one helping hand would be all he asked. Someone with virtue he could commit his unused ‘Knightly Oath’ to. Someone he could dedicate his chivalric blessings and loyalty to. He was a man with innocent ideals.
So… why was the woman he found so… Well…
“I’m going to steal, kill, and rob that outpost over there. You can either help… or watch me die a gruesome death from being outnumbered.” She despicable woman he had misjudged. Using his oath against him to commit heinous evil deeds.
Eventually, she forced him to teach his secrets to mere adventurers without proper birthright. How could a man of his calibre teach commoners with such low magic aptitudes? And they wished to go against the academy the Sage attended?
Ludicrous dreams! Insanity! Pure madness!
Was she planning to rebel against the state?
Unknowingly, the paladin ended up raising the finest adventurers. Achieving merits he’d originally never dreamed of. What was the true identity of the woman he’d sworn an oath to?)
—————
Basically, the story is presented from Christopher’s POV early on. The reader isn’t aware of the full picture until later: When the heroine has her real intentions understood. The students clash with students from the academy the ‘Sage’ is part of, then ends with a climactic battle where everyone fights the Demon King.
It’s definitely an ‘Academy’ story but with adventurers, so the students are adults with already matured powers. They don’t have enough ‘noble status’ and the MC is biased from living with priests and long indoctrination.
There is less immaturity but definitely some factional clashes since adults have deeper agendas than teenagers. There is even a ‘student council’ despite these guys all learning at a guild location (because adventurers are chaotic).
Let me know if you guys can see a massive plot hole in this initial idea. Will take it into consideration.
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