There are intriguing aspects to this but you are dancing around the hook and not setting it. A blurb requires a sacrifice on the part of the author. You have to spill a secret and reveal a spoiler of some kind to get us invested. Otherwise it's just too generic for the reader to care. Give us a gut punch, and a cliffhanger to worry about.
In the shadowed corners of Elaris, a young woman stumbles upon a mysterious power.
What power? How did she stumble on it?
The story follows Marcy, a street rat turned mystic, whose magic—granted by her divine patrons—gives her control over the fundamental aspects of the mind and art.
This is a little better, but still vague. What are the "fundamental aspects of the mind?" But control of art is interesting. Does she become a famous painter? What does she sculpt/draw?
As Marcy navigates a world where thoughts and emotions are potent weapons,
Telling me emotions are potent weapons is nearly meaningless. Show me how envy or shame is a weapon in Marcy's hands. Give me a sense of the stakes.
she delves deeper into her abilities,
What abilities?
Telling me a truth is hidden is not compelling. Just like saying a person is mysterious doesn't make them mysterious. What did she uncover? Why was it hidden? What does the revelation mean? What impact does it have?
and confronting adversaries
What adversaries? What happens if she fails or succeeds in her confrontation?
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