I need your advice on how to show, rather than tell.

[Rookieqw]

Sorry to bother you with my selfish request, but I need your advice, if you have time to procrastinate.

https://www.scribblehub.com/read/1042505-hordedoom/chapter/1294952/ skip to " And here goes Mungke "

How to properly show that the Purebloods distrust Iron Lord and that he cares about his wives without outright spelling that out? Because in my writing I used too much telling and it breaks the dialogue, I can't wrap my head around how I could have done it differently. The idea was to lead the reader to conclude that Iron Lord, despite replacing his organs and trying to give up his human form, still has more humanity in him than his rival.

 

[beast_regards]

People are less likely to complain about "show not tell" if you are writing in 1st person.

Otherwise, there is nothing you could do.

There are various styles of how to write the 3rd person narration (close, or distant) and people who complain are rarely ones who know the difference, they just complain because there are no consequences for doing so.

 

[MarekSusicky]

Takes a long drag from a cigar, ash falling onto a manuscript littered desk. The scribblehub feedback office smells of stale coffee, desperation, and crushed dreams.

"Alright, kid." Taps the manuscript with a weathered finger. "You've got... something here. But right now? It's like watching a ballet dancer wearing a suit of armor. Lots of movement, zero grace."

Points to the first paragraph

"How very sad," said Brood Lord, standing beside Iron Lord.

Circles it with a red pen

"Show, don't tell. The oldest advice in the book, and the hardest to master. These characters are talking about sadness, but I don't feel a damn thing. Where's the weight? The tension? You're telling me Brood Lord is sad, but you're not making me believe it."

Leans back, cigar dangling from lips. Pulls their manuscript closer, tapping a nicotine-stained finger on a particular passage

"You're telling me about tension, but I want to feel the electricity crackling between these lords. When Iron Lord's implants kick in to suppress his rage, don't just state it - make me feel that mechanical suppression of raw emotion."

Taps the another part with a red pencil, making it all red

"See how you've got Brood Lord practically dancing around accusation? That's good. But double down. Let their body language do the talking. Those micro-movements, the way one might almost reach for a weapon but doesn't. The tension in the silence between words. That's where trust dies, kid."

Softens tone slightly

"And the wives. Don't tell me Iron Lord cares. Show me. Maybe a fleeting moment of vulnerability. A gesture. Something that cracks that mechanical exterior just enough to reveal the humanity underneath. Your world's got potential. These aren't just monsters. They're characters wrestling with what it means to be more—or less—than human. Make me believe that."

Slides the manuscript back across the desk

"Now go. Rewrite. Make these characters breathe."

 

[Scaletalon]

That's a good request but what you really need to focus on is show AND tell. Show don't tell can be quite vague and most people misinterpret it as describing everything which often leads to overdescription, slow pacing and purple prose.
So writing is not just about showing nor is it all telling , it is about balance.
You can check out this website that gives great advice on how to do both::https://btleditorial.com/2021/03/04/show-and-tell-in-novel/
When to show
1.To express emotions. If Sally is sobbing, describe how the force of her cries makes her body tremble. That’s more impactful than “She was crying,” if you need to show grief or distress. This applies to every emotion and is done with body language.
2.To build the world. As we worked through above, sensory details are helpful to set the scene. They can also help you worldbuild as you go. For example, instead of saying the street is next to the ocean, you can write something like, “Emilia strolled along the cobblestone street, the smell of spring wisteria mixing with the heavy, salty scent of the nearby sea.”
3.To highlight relationships and personalities.
Now let’s move on how to tell :
1.When you need to state a fact.
2. When you need to state a feeling eg We don't always need to describe how the person felt tired sometimes you can simply just say "Liora was exhausted."
3.When you need to introduce backstory -Not all backstory needs to be made into a flashback scene sometimes you can just sum it up to the reader.
Hope this helps.