I need someone review my work

[Nekouni]

I need someone, to review my story and if I need to improve something be sure to tell me about it.

https://www.scribblehub.com/series/712776/fantastic-online/

 

[Empyrea]

Well, improving your English will probably be a good first step. For the spelling errors and tables I would suggest a program like Libre. It will let you copy over tables made in it so you don't have to manually format every one and catch most spelling and spacing errors.

The English in your first chapter is so weird it's hard to really critique it on anything else. I'm sure you'll improve with more practice though, so keep at it.

 

[Nekouni]

Well, improving your English will probably be a good first step. For the spelling errors and tables I would suggest a program like Libre. It will let you copy over tables made in it so you don't have to manually format every one and catch most spelling and spacing errors.

The English in your first chapter is so weird it's hard to really critique it on anything else. I'm sure you'll improve with more practice though, so keep at it.

I SEE, how about the story, do you understand the content?