I need help with this scene

[Agentt]

So, here is an excerpt from my rough draft

Spoiler

"Perhaps. Perhaps not. Still, one would also find extreme that you lived for so long, not once wondering why the sky and why the sun exist. I don't know if you are stupid or one of those emo."
"I'm neither."
"Sure?"
"Yes."
"What is seven times eight?"
"I'm not stupid!"
"Then tell me the answer."
"I refuse, I did not take years of learning herb only to be mocked like this."
"I see. Then what are your views on the primordial leaf theory?"
"Fifty six. Seven eights are fifty six."
"Indeed. So I assume you are emo then?"
"No! I'm normal!"
"Huh. A very curious case indeed, a peculiarly interesting one. Ah, I forgot, it was rude of me to not introduce myself. Aristotle, is what they call me."
"Oh, nice to meet you, Aristotle."
We both stood in silence for for sometime, and Aristotle's smile turned into an awkward grin.
"Umm."
"Yes?"
"I was waiting for a reply."
"Oh, Aristotle. I...hear it. I have received the name."
"Oh, good to know."
"Yes, yes indeed."
"It's just that, I was hoping to get yours."
"Oh, my what?"
"Your name, please."
"What about my name?"
"Could I please get your name."
"Well, you could get it, you certainly do have two ears to listen."
"Ahem, my apologies. 'May' I get your name please?"

(Something something)
"Chaos"

I need help to fill that something something, and add bits and pieces everywhere to set the mood.

So, here is the context,
Aristotle looks good and MC has a crush on him.

The name of MC is Chaos Incarnate, and she doesn't want to tell that to Aristotle cuz he would call her emo then.

What I want to write is, MC going, "kyaaa, he is too hot, I can't refuse!"

 

[JayDirex]

Ok, #1 you wrote a dialog list that should be broken up because no one can tell who is talking to who YOU CAN. But I can't. hence dialog tags. ALSO, you're dialog needs sharpening. it's ambiguous from sentence to sentence. my re-writes are below

"Perhaps. Perhaps not," The handsome guy said, sneering at Chaos from head to toe. "Still, one would find it odd how you lived for so long, not once wondering why the sky and the sun exist. I can't tell if you're stupid or emo."

"I'm neither stupid nor emo."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes."

"Than what's seven times eight?" The man asked.

"I told you, I'm not stupid!"

"Then answer the question."

"I refuse, I didn't take years of learning herbs to be mocked like this," Chaos pouted.

"I see. Then what are your views on the primordial leaf theory?"

"The primordial leaf theory?" She shook her head. Kyaaa, this guy is too hot! I could answer him, but I don't want to. Craaaap! "Fifty six! Seven times eight is fifty six!"

"Indeed it is. And since that's your answer I'll assume you are emo."

"No! I'm normal!"

"So you claim. But whether you are or not, you're certainly a peculiar case." The man then bowed. "Ah, how rude of me. My name is Aristotle."

"Oh, nice to meet you, Aristotle."

The two stood in silence for a moment before Aristotle grinned at her, "Umm."

"Yes?"

"I was waiting for a reply."

"Oh, Aristotle. I...hear it. I have received the name," Chaos said, blushing.

"That's good to know."

"Yes, yes indeed."

"It's just that, I was hoping to get yours."

"Oh, my what?"

"Your name, please."

"What about my name?"

"Could I please get your name."

"Well, you could get it, you certainly do have two ears to listen."

"Ahem, my apologies. Please, tell me your name."

 

[Keene]

While there is a lot to correct here I will point out the most glaring issue.

Do not write conversations between characters as if they were talking in real life.

There are many good articles on this subject. Here is one.

Notice how their example of bad dialogue flows in a similar manner to yours:

---

“Hey Judy.”

“Hey, Brett.”

“You OK?”

“Yeah, not bad. What do you say? Maybe play some tennis later?”

“Tennis? I’m not sure about that. I think it’s going to rain.”

---

Good dialogue is every bit as difficult to write as beautiful prose. Read the article and keep at it!