I just wrote and wanted to ask for your opinion

[Orinnaw]

Saat Aku Membuka Mataku, Perjalananku Dimulai Ini judulnya.
https://www.scribblehub.com/series/1890762/when-i-open-my-eyes-my-journey-begins/

I'm just trying to write, can anyone spare some time to judge my mistakes?

Thank You.

 

[Eldoria]

Your writing is quite neat and easy to read. However, your story is more like SoL instead of isekai with mystery core (which you highlight in the synopsis). There are several things you can consider to attract readers, among others:

1. Design your cover in anime/LN style and preferably use a waifutable and elegant female character.
2. Write your synopsis as a moral premise that emphasizes what value conflict you want to discuss and what is interesting for readers?
3. Update regularly 2-4 chapters per week.
4. Use genres and tags that suit your content.

I highlight the most important is your cover is too abstract and not following the trend. If you change the cover to anime style, it is likely that your story will get more attention from new readers.

 

[Orinnaw]

Tulisan Anda cukup rapi dan mudah dibaca. Namun, cerita Anda lebih mirip SoL, bukan isekai dengan inti misteri (yang Anda tonjolkan di sinopsis). Ada beberapa hal yang bisa Anda pertimbangkan untuk menarik pembaca, antara lain:

1. Desain sampul Anda dalam gaya anime/LN dan sebaiknya gunakan karakter wanita yang elegan dan menarik perhatian.
2. Tulis sinopsis Anda sebagai premis moral yang menekankan konflik nilai apa yang ingin Anda bahas dan apa yang menarik bagi pembaca?
3. Perbarui secara berkala 2-4 bab per minggu.
4. Gunakan genre dan tag yang sesuai dengan konten Anda.

Saya menyoroti hal terpenting adalah sampul Anda terlalu abstrak dan tidak mengikuti tren. Jika Anda mengubah sampul menjadi gaya anime, kemungkinan besar cerita Anda akan lebih menarik perhatian pembaca baru.

Thank you for your suggestion

I'll fix the synopsis, reduce the sol flavor, and figure out how to change the cover. Your suggestion helps me thank you