I have trouble with hooks and currently open to feedback swaps.

[AmbreaTaddy]

I'm a new writer, and I am having issues attracting readers. It could be the type of story, or it could be website visibility, but despite my writing, rewriting, countless edits, and trying to advertise, I'm still stuck in the shadows, cursed to drown in the abyss. Apologies for being overdramatic, but I would love to do some feedback swaps. Chapter for chapter swaps, especially the first chapter. I only have 3 chapters up so far. The novel is completed, and it will be gradually uploaded once I'm done with another round of edits. Please give honest feedback, and I will do the same for you.

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Title: Rhythm of Rampage

Synopsis:
Rhythm of Rampage follows an eccentric nameless man with fractured memories, who becomes ensnared in a spiraling web of misfortune. where he encounters monsters and even more menacing hybrid creatures with special abilities, many of whom hide in plain sight, masquerading as ordinary humans. His journey through the city of Ravenhide brings to light the dark past that he had left behind, the obscured memories of many lives lived, the lives that made him into what he is now. A twisty, dark, and mysterious trek into the unknown sprinkled with rhymes.

Hello !
I don't have time to read anything right now, I have a 'to read' list that is way too full ! But quick advices as a reader on this website :

Most readers won't start a story that has less than 10 chapters, because there are a lot of authors here who start a story because they have the motivation, but stop as soon as the creative juices run low, so they stop before 10 chapters. Starting to read a story only for it to be axed feels awful. Also, the story generally starts to get really interesting after the 10th chapter when it's a long-running story, so reading before that is like reading the introduction without touching the meat and potatoes. Thus why most authors who want a good start for their stories write dozens of chapters in advance, and post 10 in the first day to get it going.

If you want to have independant titles for your chapters, that's great ! But try to also put a number in there. For now it's not a problem, but when you start to have several pages of chapters the readers will like to know the numbers. Either to remember where they left off, or a specific arc. For exemple : 'I remember the arc between chapters 20-30, but I didn't read it for a while so I can't remember what happens after 35. Better read it again.' Numbers are easier to remember than sentences.

The cover makes me think of a medieval fantasy story, but the blurb doesn't seem like it. For AI, it's okay as long as it's not for a commercial use, and you always have the option to switch to a commissioned cover if your story gets popular. If you want to commission a cover, there are a lot of really good artists on this forum, I think there is even commission infos with prices, and some are really cheap ;)

 

[Trashcat]

Since I’m still pretty new to Scribble Hub, I can’t really say what the overall consensus is on AI covers here. But honestly, in my opinion, especially for stories like ours that probably won’t end up on bookstore shelves and aren’t making money, I don’t see a problem with using AI art. I totally get where the hate comes from though. I went to college for art myself, so I understand why artists hate it. It's taking money from their pockets, but the economy is in the shit right now, and I can't afford getting covers produced for the multitude of story ideas I have, that may or may not take off.

About the cover, honestly, I like it way more. It’s exactly what I pictured: the main character with his golden sword, striking that mysterious vibe. It really draws the eye, especially compared to the older beige cover, which didn’t stand out as much.

If I had one tiny nitpick (and really, it’s just a nitpick, so don’t overthink it), it’s the black bar behind the title text. It kind of blocks the background and feels a little boxy. I think if that were removed, the whole thing would pop even more. ?

No rush at all, take your time with my chapters, I’m planning to release a new chapter every Monday, so as mine go up, I’ll be reading and giving feedback on more of your chapters too. ?

Thank you. I'll be editing my cover a bit, and replacing the current one.

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I've read your prologue, and I think it's well-written. Emotions are conveyed nicely, with palpable tension between the characters. It's easy to read, and the descriptions are not overwhelming. I'm excited to see the world-building. There are a few typos/spelling errors that I'll point out

Silveral’s heart twisted painfully at those words. He looked down at Leonardo, at the man who he saved and intern had saved

intern should be "in turn"

they pulled away, Silveral’s eyes fluttered open, his heart still racing. He saw the same breathlessness reflected in Leonardo’s wide, jade green eyes, but there was also a soft smile playing at his lips.

This paragraph starts without capitalization. You can use Grammarly to check for errors. I will read more and give you feedback soon ?

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I know an editor who is looking for writers of these genre;

1. BL
2. Mafia
3. Werewolf
4. Billionaire

Top-rated tags : second chance, revenge, secret identity, forbidden love, age gap, taboo, rejected. love after marriage, contract marriage, enemies to lovers, weak to strong, divorce, time travel and royalty.
Most of these are romance (not my forte). If anyone is interested, she'll need the first chapter only.

Hello !
I don't have time to read anything right now, I have a 'to read' list that is way too full ! But quick advices as a reader on this website :

Most readers won't start a story that has less than 10 chapters, because there are a lot of authors here who start a story because they have the motivation, but stop as soon as the creative juices run low, so they stop before 10 chapters. Starting to read a story only for it to be axed feels awful. Also, the story generally starts to get really interesting after the 10th chapter when it's a long-running story, so reading before that is like reading the introduction without touching the meat and potatoes. Thus why most authors who want a good start for their stories write dozens of chapters in advance, and post 10 in the first day to get it going.

If you want to have independant titles for your chapters, that's great ! But try to also put a number in there. For now it's not a problem, but when you start to have several pages of chapters the readers will like to know the numbers. Either to remember where they left off, or a specific arc. For exemple : 'I remember the arc between chapters 20-30, but I didn't read it for a while so I can't remember what happens after 35. Better read it again.' Numbers are easier to remember than sentences.

The cover makes me think of a medieval fantasy story, but the blurb doesn't seem like it. For AI, it's okay as long as it's not for a commercial use, and you always have the option to switch to a commissioned cover if your story gets popular. If you want to commission a cover, there are a lot of really good artists on this forum, I think there is even commission infos with prices, and some are really cheap ;)

Thank you for the feedback. My story was completed ages ago; it's just being polished for now. I'll add the numbering for chapters, that's a great suggestion, and I'll change the cover as GreenLemonShark mentioned it as well.