I finished some chapters and I need some reviews.

[Nhatduongg]

So yeah, I’ve written six chapters (including the prologue) of my new story and it’s still in the draft status (for quite a while now) and here I am, asking for some reviews.

Spoiler: Prologue

Spoiler: Chapter 1

Oh and I won’t like before only asking, this time I can also review yours if you post it here. However, I’m your average non-English reader so I will only be rating your content and won’t dwell much into grammars (cause I have no idea myself).
Seems that I can’t post more than 10 pictures, so let’s put it here.

Spoiler: Chapter 2

Spoiler: Chapter 3

Spoiler: More chapter 3

Spoiler: Chapter 4 (this is the last)

So yeah, review mine, and toss yours in if you want. Thanks in advance.