How do you write fighting scenes?

[A_veil_of_red_ink]

I'm currently writing the sixth chapter of my story, where a big fight is taking place. However, I feel something is off—there's no tension, and it seems like no one is actually winning. My final boss for this arc is a demon in human form, but he doesn't come across as intimidating enough.

As someone new to writing, I have many questions. While I've watched a lot of YouTube videos that suggest various techniques, they don't address how to overcome specific problems like creating intensity in a fight scene.

I'm feeling really stuck, and I haven't found any answers on YouTube or Reddit for the issues I'm facing.

So, here is a scene from my novel. read it, and if you have some advice, please give.

__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Arkam narrowed his eyes,
Bang, he shot.

Kashan ducked and pulled his gun.
Arkam took one step forward—
—and vanished.

Kashan shocked his gaze, searching for Arkam.
Arkam reappeared behind Kashan, his eyes wide open.

Arkam punched him in the ribs. He flew.
—crashing into a wall.
He stood up, gasping for air, “Son of a bitch,” he thought.

Kashan glanced around, but no one was there.
He looked at the entrance to the room beyond, filled with many crates.


Arkam stood at the far end, bathed in red light.
He raised his right hand—
and curled a finger.
A silent command: “Come.”

Kashan clenched his jaw, then grinned. He tightened his grip on the guns.
He headed toward Arkam, exiting the room he was in.

Six pillars stood in the room, with Arkam in the middle of them.
When the light flickered—
He vanished again.

But Kashan, still and calm, stood.
Arkam lunged from the side—
Kashan ducked and hit Arkam with the gun's butt.
Arkam recoiled, his nose bleeding.
He pulled his knives out and lunged toward Kashan again.
__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Thank you.

The Pristine

In a world torn apart by war and shrouded in fog, Arkam, a seasoned supersoldier, descends into an abandoned bunker to complete a mission. Haunted by visions of a violent past, his biting sarcasm conceals a tired heart.

www.scribblehub.com

 

[ChrisLensman]

The best advice I've ever heard when it comes to fighting scenes was from a YouTuber called SuperEyepatchWolf. He talks about Shonen Manga a lot so of course he has a lot of things to say about that specific genre , but this advice holds true for all fight scenes:
Fight scenes can be broken up into two different parts, the technical narrative and the emotional narrative.

The technical narrative is fairly straightforward: What are the individual fighters doing? How does one counter another, what fighting styles are they using, what part of their skillset is actually being utilized, who is better than who, all that kind of thing.

The emotional narrative, meanwhile, is about the headspace the characters are in. What are they fighting for, what is at stake, what does the fighting say about them as individuals, how will winning or losing affect them, that kind of thing.

If your final boss isn't intimidating enough then that might be either an issue with him not dominating the others enough (technical narrative) or with the stakes of the fight not being adequately explained (emotional narrative). The key question is: Why should people be intimidated by him? Don't do something hacky like "his aura is too overwhelming!", just show him being a force of nature or add in some direct stakes.

When writing your scene, keep in mind not just what is happening but what it means for the characters. If you keep that in mind, your fight scenes will get better and you'll also be able to recognize good fight scenes better.

 

[King_Awonz]

Keep in mind I'm a reader not an author, so my responses will reflect this.

Arkam narrowed his eyes,
Bang, he shot

Narrowing eyes could be expanded upon, giving a little more detail and increasing immersiveness. Consider changing it to something like "Arkam narrowed his eyes, pupils watching carefully for any movement." As for the gun sound, the onomatopoeia here seems a but lackluster. I feel like this would fit in better --He quickly raised his hand, gun screaming loudly with a resounding 'bang'.
Tsk, he dodged it
Without missing a beat, the demon turned his head to avoid the projectile and drew his own firearm in response.
Arkam took a step forward, melting as though he was mist. He the appeared directly before the demon, the collision of his hand and the demon's ribs sending the latter flying backwards.
Arkam watched as he walked out of the dust, waiting and probing. He saw the demon mutter, ears faintly catching a 'Son of a bitch'.
They both started at each other, both wary of the other's next action. Again, Arkam was the one to respond, firing two more rounds at the demon. Although non fatal, he was the first to draw blood. A small smirk danced upon his face as he took a dagger in his free hand, lunging towards the demon.
Both fought without speaking much afterwards, the demon abandoning his gun during the fight as Arkam was the better marksman. He instead used a reinforced axe, although the reach was shorter than a standard one, giving him less of a reach advantage than one would normally have. Arkam used this benefit to control the space, stabbing when close and firing to keep distance.
This is my representation, as I dont know much about your characters on the context and kinda just let my mind wander. I made various changes, and you can ask me for specific reasons at any time. Had to stop si ce I was getting hungry, and hope this helped

The best advice I've ever heard when it comes to fighting scenes was from a YouTuber called SuperEyepatchWolf. He talks about Shonen Manga a lot so of course he has a lot of things to say about that specific genre , but this advice holds true for all fight scenes:
Fight scenes can be broken up into two different parts, the technical narrative and the emotional narrative.

The technical narrative is fairly straightforward: What are the individual fighters doing? How does one counter another, what fighting styles are they using, what part of their skillset is actually being utilized, who is better than who, all that kind of thing.

The emotional narrative, meanwhile, is about the headspace the characters are in. What are they fighting for, what is at stake, what does the fighting say about them as individuals, how will winning or losing affect them, that kind of thing.

If your final boss isn't intimidating enough then that might be either an issue with him not dominating the others enough (technical narrative) or with the stakes of the fight not being adequately explained (emotional narrative). The key question is: Why should people be intimidated by him? Don't do something hacky like "his aura is too overwhelming!", just show him being a force of nature or add in some direct stakes.

When writing your scene, keep in mind not just what is happening but what it means for the characters. If you keep that in mind, your fight scenes will get better and you'll also be able to recognize good fight scenes better.

Reading this after writing my own version of the scene I'm curious, how does mine feel? In terms of emotional narrative I had no context to work with so I kinda just bullshitted, however I think I did a fairly decent job at establishing the demon as a somewhat skilled fighter. Kinda got lazy towards the end yes, but still feel the fight is a bit more engaging. I'm a reader not an author though, so this was done on a mere whim

 

[A_veil_of_red_ink]

Keep in mind I'm a reader not an author, so my responses will reflect this.

Narrowing eyes could be expanded upon, giving a little more detail and increasing immersiveness. Consider changing it to something like "Arkam narrowed his eyes, pupils watching carefully for any movement." As for the gun sound, the onomatopoeia here seems a but lackluster. I feel like this would fit in better --He quickly raised his hand, gun screaming loudly with a resounding 'bang'.
Tsk, he dodged it
Without missing a beat, the demon turned his head to avoid the projectile and drew his own firearm in response.
Arkam took a step forward, melting as though he was mist. He the appeared directly before the demon, the collision of his hand and the demon's ribs sending the latter flying backwards.
Arkam watched as he walked out of the dust, waiting and probing. He saw the demon mutter, ears faintly catching a 'Son of a bitch'.
They both started at each other, both wary of the other's next action. Again, Arkam was the one to respond, firing two more rounds at the demon. Although non fatal, he was the first to draw blood. A small smirk danced upon his face as he took a dagger in his free hand, lunging towards the demon.
Both fought without speaking much afterwards, the demon abandoning his gun during the fight as Arkam was the better marksman. He instead used a reinforced axe, although the reach was shorter than a standard one, giving him less of a reach advantage than one would normally have. Arkam used this benefit to control the space, stabbing when close and firing to keep distance.
This is my representation, as I dont know much about your characters on the context and kinda just let my mind wander. I made various changes, and you can ask me for specific reasons at any time. Had to stop si ce I was getting hungry, and hope this helped

Reading this after writing my own version of the scene I'm curious, how does mine feel? In terms of emotional narrative I had no context to work with so I kinda just bullshitted, however I think I did a fairly decent job at establishing the demon as a somewhat skilled fighter. Kinda got lazy towards the end yes, but still feel the fight is a bit more engaging. I'm a reader not an author though, so this was done on a mere whim

What the heck, man? You're a reader—so write something! This is the writing of someone who reads well, consumes quality material, and produces good content.

I don’t have any questions about the technical aspects, as what I wrote is just a zero draft, an alpha version of my writing. And yes, you're good—so good that it honestly makes me envious. Wow!

Thanks!

The best advice I've ever heard when it comes to fighting scenes was from a YouTuber called SuperEyepatchWolf. He talks about Shonen Manga a lot so of course he has a lot of things to say about that specific genre , but this advice holds true for all fight scenes:
Fight scenes can be broken up into two different parts, the technical narrative and the emotional narrative.

The technical narrative is fairly straightforward: What are the individual fighters doing? How does one counter another, what fighting styles are they using, what part of their skillset is actually being utilized, who is better than who, all that kind of thing.

The emotional narrative, meanwhile, is about the headspace the characters are in. What are they fighting for, what is at stake, what does the fighting say about them as individuals, how will winning or losing affect them, that kind of thing.

If your final boss isn't intimidating enough then that might be either an issue with him not dominating the others enough (technical narrative) or with the stakes of the fight not being adequately explained (emotional narrative). The key question is: Why should people be intimidated by him? Don't do something hacky like "his aura is too overwhelming!", just show him being a force of nature or add in some direct stakes.

When writing your scene, keep in mind not just what is happening but what it means for the characters. If you keep that in mind, your fight scenes will get better and you'll also be able to recognize good fight scenes better.

I'm going to watch the video now. Thank you for explaining it to me.

 

[Bald-san]

I'm currently writing the sixth chapter of my story, where a big fight is taking place. However, I feel something is off—there's no tension, and it seems like no one is actually winning. My final boss for this arc is a demon in human form, but he doesn't come across as intimidating enough.

As someone new to writing, I have many questions. While I've watched a lot of YouTube videos that suggest various techniques, they don't address how to overcome specific problems like creating intensity in a fight scene.

I'm feeling really stuck, and I haven't found any answers on YouTube or Reddit for the issues I'm facing.

So, here is a scene from my novel. read it, and if you have some advice, please give.

__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Arkam narrowed his eyes,
Bang, he shot.

Kashan ducked and pulled his gun.
Arkam took one step forward—
—and vanished.

Kashan shocked his gaze, searching for Arkam.
Arkam reappeared behind Kashan, his eyes wide open.

Arkam punched him in the ribs. He flew.
—crashing into a wall.
He stood up, gasping for air, “Son of a bitch,” he thought.

Kashan glanced around, but no one was there.
He looked at the entrance to the room beyond, filled with many crates.


Arkam stood at the far end, bathed in red light.
He raised his right hand—
and curled a finger.
A silent command: “Come.”

Kashan clenched his jaw, then grinned. He tightened his grip on the guns.
He headed toward Arkam, exiting the room he was in.

Six pillars stood in the room, with Arkam in the middle of them.
When the light flickered—
He vanished again.

But Kashan, still and calm, stood.
Arkam lunged from the side—
Kashan ducked and hit Arkam with the gun's butt.
Arkam recoiled, his nose bleeding.
He pulled his knives out and lunged toward Kashan again.
__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Thank you.

The Pristine

In a world torn apart by war and shrouded in fog, Arkam, a seasoned supersoldier, descends into an abandoned bunker to complete a mission. Haunted by visions of a violent past, his biting sarcasm conceals a tired heart.

www.scribblehub.com

One way I do it is to use thoughts to edge readers, like if there's an explosion the caster would go "He shouldn't have dodge that because my casting time is the fastest in this school" and then after that, there's something like "Such are his/her thoughts before feeling a percing pain in his/her chest... Etc." I kind of noticed in your fight scene that it lacks these kind of elements. Also, I recommend reading Naruto: The Wind Calamity if you want to stick in this straightforwards descriptions, it's in webnovel and the author somehow was able to create good fight scenes similar to yours.

 

[King_Awonz]

What the heck, man? You're a reader—so write something! This is the writing of someone who reads well, consumes quality material, and produces good content.

I don’t have any questions about the technical aspects, as what I wrote is just a zero draft, an alpha version of my writing. And yes, you're good—so good that it honestly makes me envious. Wow!

Thanks!

Well I do try. I attempted writing once(still have the rough draft) but it's just too much effort and I have too many things to juggle rn. I honestly cant say if this is talent or not, I mostly just bull shut through whatever ideas fly through my head without putting much thought into it. I have a large vocabulary from reading a lot, so theres that. I'm good at making things up, but dont really have enough technical knowledge to order things sequentially in a manner that makes a good story, so in that sense I'm as far removed from being an author as there can be. Maybe I'll go back to that MHA fabric I was writing idk, I'm just glad I helped someone increase the amount of content available for me to consume

 

[MindFudge]

Im no professional so take my advice with a pinch of salt.

Like Chris said, theres two parts to a fight. The fight itself AND the emotion. You could add lines between the ones you already have.
Take for example:

Arkam narrowed his eyes [gaze],
[A single tear slipped between his eyes]
No more. He thought
Bang.

This is just an example. Please dont get offended that i added stuff, just showing an example ?

 

[Pinkurita]

Hello! Greetings. I'm not an expert, you know? But what has worked for me is facing the struggle from an internal level, that is, the development of your thoughts, personal conflicts and other things.

The struggle is not only physical, but also internal.

Another very important thing is not to describe the actions as if they were a manual, to try to create tension by letting each person's personality and way of fighting flow.

But of course, the best advice I can give you is to read a lot, read a lot! It is a useful tool. And when you feel ready (you don't necessarily have to wait long) write and write! and make mistakes as much as you can, only then will your skills improve. I hope I have been of help!

 

[CharlesEBrown]

I cheat on big battles. Focus on one character, what he sees and does, and let the rest of the fight happen around him or her, with only the parts that MC witnesses or that impact the character directly being reported until after the fact, when the other characters "report in" (and even cheated beyond that in the novel I have on PocketFM - MC is yanked out of the fight before it is formally over, and told the outcome later by his System).

 

[soupsabaw]

I'm not a stellar fight scene writer or anything, but you're missing detail that intense fighting scenes need to be intriguing. All you have are quick and short actions. This is like a fight scene you would see if children's books had fight scenes. There's only one sentence action words. It's too bland. Throw in some character thoughts or surroundings.

For example, maybe they're fighting in the woods: "Akram narrowly missed a stump, nearly tripping in his positioning. He quickly looked back up. There was no recovery time. Kashan drove his shoulder into his side, hurling him across the open space."

I don't have time to go too crazy with examples, but that's a simple one. I can't do what action writers can do, but there's a bit I can do that makes it at least a little more interesting. At least I think so...

 

[Ani_nerowriter]

I usually try to go onto a variety.

Which means I don't try to make it repetitive in certain areas and depending on the intensity if it's more intense then it would be longer and fueled by emotions as a whole.

Also how the fight starts is really dependent as well. If it's on a quite a troublesome start than it would mean it's going to become more aggressive later on.

This is how I usually do things.

 

[Deleted member 84247]

You are focusing on short actions that don't do anything to build character or tension. Actions are a great chance to paint more character. It can give you clues to how a character is. Why do characters do one action over another? You can use verbs to do this. Like a character that is timid or hiding, for example, might nudge a door open. This same thing applies to action scenes. Let's pretend that Akram is a cowboy that has a habit of licking or chewing his lips. I don't personally use onomatopoeia, but I will for this example.

Akram narrowed his eyes and licked his lips. The brim of his hat cast a dark shadow over his face, covering the scars of battle. He chewed the edge of his lower lip and readied himself.

Bang, he shot! The sound of the revolver echoed in the surrounding forest.

Kashan ducked behind a nearby tree like the animals in the vicinity. He squeaked as a bird and hit the dirt.

Akram spat. "Fuckin' Coward." The black tobacco behind his gums landed on the ground, and the hammer of his gun pulled back once more.

I am not gonna write the whole scene like this because I don't know your characters, but even something like this is much better at building character and surroundings in a fight. You can think about this for every action. Ask yourself, "how can this action add to their character or the surroundings?"

 

[Kamael89]

I like em fast and hard, without excessive use of sound effects.

 

[Fallen_Void]

I like to build tension first, I already hype up the character before the main fight begins. So, the readers already know this fellow is dangerous besides that what I like to do is maintain the atmospheric tension, the psychological aspect of the fight.

Whether one is quivering, sweating, shivering or moving their eyes erratically. Their reaction when seeing their opponent, their conversations mid fight, etc.

The tension in the air poured into simpler words—basically.

 

[RivCA]

Judging by the myriad of advice given here, I don't know if what I can contribute would be of much value, but here's my advice, and it reflects on what King_Awonz said. If you're not an avid reader, knowing how to write is that much harder.

The best thing I could suggest is to take ideas and inspiration from others and make it yours. You have a solid outline, so what you need to do is to bring in the emotional weight and make the physical aspect help to contribute to the soul of the scene. If you're looking for direct examples, I offer my own work to check out, Echoes of Lescatié Chapter 4: Duel. I hope this helps to spark ideas for you.

 

[ThisAdamGuy]

Lately I've seen a lot of people dump on this rule, but "show don't tell" is honestly the best advice anyone could give you right now. Nobody will feel anything during this fight because we aren't seeing it in our heads. We're just reading a list of the things the people there are doing.

For example, this:
Arkam narrowed his eyes,
Bang, he shot.

Could be this:
Everything went still as the two opponents faced each other. Nobody moved. Nobody spoke. Even the wind seemed to be holding its breath. There was a heaviness in the air that everyone present could feel. This was where their journey had been leading them—and for at least one of them, it would be where it ended.
Arkam narrowed his eyes, watching Kashan for any sign of movement. His fingers twitched, itching to draw his gun, but he knew that one false move would be all it took to end up with a bullet in his own heart. He scarcely dared to breathe as he waited for—
Kashan's hand went for his gun, and Arkam's followed a nanosecond later. Fingers wrapped around the cold, deadly steel, and...
BANG!

 

[WhaleSprite]

I'm not expert on fight scenes, but from what I can see you need to expand on the emotional side of the fight. Like what is either the protagonist or the antagonist thinking. Generally the one doing the most thinking is usually the one struggling more with the fight. (Unless you're Sherlock Holmes). If we know what at least one of them is thinking, it might raise the stakes more and make it easier for the reader connect with it.

But that's just my take. Hope what I put actually made sense. It did in my head. ? I'm just pointing out from a reader's point of view and I don't care for long fight scenes unless I'm emotionally invested in it.

 

[LiteraryWho]

I'm personally a fan of the JRR Tolkien school of fight scenes, which is to have the POV character pass out ten seconds into the battle, and skip to the part where it's over, but everyone saying you should use fight scenes like you do every scene, as a chance to develop the characters and plot, is correct.

 

[RainyLiquid]

I use words for fight scenes mostly.

 

[melchi]

Nothing wrong with being concise but.... so many sentence fragments.

Writers use that to draw a readers attention but overusing it is bad. That is sacrificing clarity, and if clarity isn't #1 then the writer is doing it wrong.