Hi! I would love feedback on my book! <3

[SavoryWords]

Hi! My book is about A blind, barefoot girl, with glowing eyes wanders a surreal forest with a flirtatious stranger and a crew of the nearly-dead. As lost memories surface, she begins to question who she is and why she was never meant to remember.

Currently testing what readers enjoy most romance, worldbuilding, psychological themes—so all feedback is so helpful!

I know I have a really bad attention span and of course I love personally quick pace and character building the most but I know how important world building is so I'm trying to do more of that but, yeah let me know!

[ WARNING ABUSE & GORE]


NO EYES: A Forgotten Whisper

 

[Eldoria]

The story is actually quite good. I've only read the prologue but already have a rough idea of where the story is going. Maybe a few suggestions for your novel:

Edit, first, I initially assumed "she" and "he" referred to the same person but after further investigation, the synopsis refers to two different people from two different paragraphs. However, this still feels grammatically ambiguous, so I initially thought you used pronouns incorrectly. Suggestion: Change "she" to the female protagonist's name and "he" to the male protagonist so readers can immediately understand. They refer to two different people so don't make wild assumptions that you used grammar incorrectly. Synopsis: "She (Pecola) doesn't remember who she is. He (Antic) wants to prove himself. And the Perennial Forest is done waiting."

Second, your cover isn't visually appealing. The SH platform emerged from the novelupdates ecosystem, which leans toward East Asian cultures (Japan, Korea, and China), which generally favor waifutable character designs in the style of anime, manhwa, manga, and light novels. My suggestion is to make the cover more elegant by adapting an anime-style cover. This can attract the attention of early readers and encourage them to read your novel. Those are just a few suggestions from me.

I hope this is helpful. Best regards.

 

[SavoryWords]

The story is actually quite good. I've only read the prologue but already have a rough idea of where the story is going. Maybe a few suggestions for your novel:

Edit, first, I initially assumed "she" and "he" referred to the same person but after further investigation, the synopsis refers to two different people from two different paragraphs. However, this still feels grammatically ambiguous, so I initially thought you used pronouns incorrectly. Suggestion: Change "she" to the female protagonist's name and "he" to the male protagonist so readers can immediately understand. They refer to two different people so don't make wild assumptions that you used grammar incorrectly. Synopsis: "She (Pecola) doesn't remember who she is. He (Antic) wants to prove himself. And the Perennial Forest is done waiting."

Second, your cover isn't visually appealing. The SH platform emerged from the novelupdates ecosystem, which leans toward East Asian cultures (Japan, Korea, and China), which generally favor waifutable character designs in the style of anime, manhwa, manga, and light novels. My suggestion is to make the cover more elegant by adapting an anime-style cover. This can attract the attention of early readers and encourage them to read your novel. Those are just a few suggestions from me.

I hope this is helpful. Best regards.

Thank so much this was super helpful!

Also, I was curious about the appeal of the cover! I'll also make changes to that!