Hi there, thank you so much for taking the time to comment and share your thoughts! :)
I really appreciate your honesty — and don’t worry, I completely understand what you mean. Let me explain a little more. Although it’s mentioned in the synopsis, the idea of my story is that, just like our own world, the Greek gods have also become nothing more than legends, myths, and forgotten tales. Without giving spoilers for future chapters, something happened long ago that made humanity forget its true history — centuries and millennia of it.
That’s why I’m building the story slowly, step by step, without rushing to introduce gods or big battles right away. I want readers to feel that rediscovery — that sense of uncovering what was lost — as the story unfolds. It’s more about the return of myth itself, and about children slowly discovering it piece by piece.
And no, my work was not created with AI. I write everything myself. I must admit, though, English is neither my first nor second language — I originally write the story in Spanish and then translate it. Sometimes I use a translator for small parts, which can cause a few confusing or awkward phrases, as you mentioned. But I always go back, review everything carefully, and try to improve.
Your comment really helps me see which parts might not connect well with English readers. I’ll review those early chapters again and polish them.
Also, I’m not exactly new to writing — but I
am new to translating my own work (haha). I started creating this story about five months ago and I’m currently around chapter six. I just recently began publishing it after obtaining the copyright registration for it.
Thank you again for your feedback and advice — I truly appreciate it. I’ll try to improve and maybe take a short break to refine the English version a bit more. Or maybe, as you said, you might just not be the target audience for this story — and that’s totally okay. Either way, I’m grateful for your words and the time you took to read it. Thanks again! :)
It is rather odd... /shrug... not hurting anyone, the English language is used to being abused.
Edit;
Okay, I will preface this with I don't think I am your target audience... or I don't think I am as I am not sure who the audience is for this.
I read the first couple chapters but needed to stop.
Your synopsis says stuff about ancient gods, warriors and other epic sounding things, but nothing about what story you are trying to tell. That could be fixed with a simple sentence or two.
Your writing style is jarring, and you are going to lose most readers interest before they finish your prologue (chapter 0)
There is nothing for me to 'Bite' onto really, nothing that catches my attention and makes me want to keep reading. It is all time skipping, moving around every other sentence. Hyphens everywhere. Is this some AI written BS you gave a prompt? If you do that, you need to spend time editing afterwards so a human at least looked at it. Or better yet, delete the AI and write for yourself.
I assume you are new to writing, and I'll give you the same advice I give other new writers. (Don't be fooled, I may be old but I am a new-ish writer as well)
READ.
Find an authour that you like and emulate how they write. Sentence and paragraph structure, world building, use of special characters.
I would suggest Brandon Sanderson or R.A. Salvatore. Sanderson is arguably the best fantasy writer on the planet, has free workshops for new writers (YT videos so I am told). Salvatore is simpler but they pump out a bunch of writing every year, with each book following a simple yet effective writing method that will grab a readers attention and keep it.
If you can emulate a good writer a bit, then you can start finding your own style afterwards.
Anyways, my 2 cents, take it for what you will.
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