Basically I broke my legs and my life went to shit. I used to write like I was doing crack before but now? I just can't write down a sentence. Recently I had an inspiration and decided to write down a SW fanfiction. Nothing grand just chaper one which has been proof read and modified by Chat Gpt. Now I need you to tell me if I've lost my mind and taste or is this really worth writing?
If you help me, I'll pray for your enemy's downfall
Here you go
So, I'm not a professional writer, and my only familiarity with Star Wars comes from the prequel trilogy. So, take my review with a grain of salt.
I like the main character. Very Deadpool/Johnny Storm/Peter Quill vibes. Loved the storm troopers, first time I have seen them in such a manner. The only thing i remember abt them is that they had no dialogue and were terrible at shooting. This showed that there are people behind that mask after all with their own lives and struggles.
Some corrections/thoughts on lines:
[I'd spent the last to month getting proficient in this blasted language of bureaucracy.] - the last two months
[I pulled out the stack I’d been grooming like a bonsai tree for weeks. Perfect. Stamped. Double-checked. Triple-signed.] - the Perfect felt a bit weird to read could just be me
[our legendary battle begin.] - ur using past tenses so shouldnt this be began?
[laws out of his better than anyone] - out of his?
[And so was my ship. My ship. My teal-painted, half-salvaged, fully-mine ship] - was repeating this line intentional?
[“Alex! Poor sod got the full Ryloth special.”] - again repeated dialogue, this one looks like a mistake even if you intended to repeat it
[your Twi'lek?"Captain Grint] - missing spacing
[You gotta plan your heartbreak in advance] - didnt close the inverted comma, nvm the entire dialogue is repeated twice in two different ways.
[you kick it. There's that too.”] - felt weird how that sentence ended.
Overall though despite not being into Star Wars I really enjoyed it.
