Not_A_Symphony
Picasso 2.0
- Joined
- Mar 15, 2021
- Messages
- 181
- Points
- 83
Hello everyone 
I've been writting two different stories and I came to the conclusion that I have two opposite writting styles and I think it's better if I just stick to one, instead of being constantly shifting between them. I like them both and I don't exactly have friends that read so I don't really know what to do.
I'll post a small piece of the same story in the two different styles below (i just quickly rewrote version 2 in the "new style"), so please help me decide and give me some experienced input!
small note: I'm not a native english speaker so forgive me for any mistakes.
Thanks guys ! ~
I've been writting two different stories and I came to the conclusion that I have two opposite writting styles and I think it's better if I just stick to one, instead of being constantly shifting between them. I like them both and I don't exactly have friends that read so I don't really know what to do.
I'll post a small piece of the same story in the two different styles below (i just quickly rewrote version 2 in the "new style"), so please help me decide and give me some experienced input!
“Ophelia is it true? Did you really try to curse your older sister?” After fifteen long and dreaded years with absolutely no communication, these were this man’s first words to his youngest child.
Not like I expected it to be any different.
My eyes voyaged through the clean, darkened room before spotting Amanda sitting gracefully on the bright red divan. Her lips curled as an overwhelming sense of pride emanated out of her stance.
“Is all of this really necessary?” Swiftly, I turned to the large and tall shelves filled with heavy books mostly regarding our kingdom’s history. “It seems to me as if the great Duke has already made up his mind.”
The moment our glances intertwined, his eyes sharpened, coldly glaring at me with easy to read thoughts. Once, my whole body would tremble with horror and fear at his feet, however, now, his thin figure belonged to no more than an exhausted man - clearly overused by the bliss of time and lacking any of the pressure and power it used to hold.
“Answer my question, Ophelia Criswell.”
After observing the carefully organized books on the wooden planks, my attention was drawn to one in specific. The hard yet bright yellow cover that embraced the thin paper sheets stood out among all its peers. My hands removed the item from the shelf as big letters read Nobility of Ashen Kingdom. I grinned towards the tall man sitting behind his large desk, his forehead filled with bumps, wrinkles born of his involuntary frowning.
“It seems elder sister mistook the library with her chambers... I simply reminded her of a lady’s etiquette.”
“How insolent! You dare educate your older sister!?” He yelled, venting out most of his pent-up frustration on the best puppet he owned: me.
Not like I expected it to be any different.
My eyes voyaged through the clean, darkened room before spotting Amanda sitting gracefully on the bright red divan. Her lips curled as an overwhelming sense of pride emanated out of her stance.
“Is all of this really necessary?” Swiftly, I turned to the large and tall shelves filled with heavy books mostly regarding our kingdom’s history. “It seems to me as if the great Duke has already made up his mind.”
The moment our glances intertwined, his eyes sharpened, coldly glaring at me with easy to read thoughts. Once, my whole body would tremble with horror and fear at his feet, however, now, his thin figure belonged to no more than an exhausted man - clearly overused by the bliss of time and lacking any of the pressure and power it used to hold.
“Answer my question, Ophelia Criswell.”
After observing the carefully organized books on the wooden planks, my attention was drawn to one in specific. The hard yet bright yellow cover that embraced the thin paper sheets stood out among all its peers. My hands removed the item from the shelf as big letters read Nobility of Ashen Kingdom. I grinned towards the tall man sitting behind his large desk, his forehead filled with bumps, wrinkles born of his involuntary frowning.
“It seems elder sister mistook the library with her chambers... I simply reminded her of a lady’s etiquette.”
“How insolent! You dare educate your older sister!?” He yelled, venting out most of his pent-up frustration on the best puppet he owned: me.
“Ophelia is it true? Did you really try to curse your older sister?” After fifteen long and dreaded years, these were his first words to me.
Not like I expected it to be any different.
Even though his study had been carefully darkened to emphasize his authority, nothing could hide away my sister’s prideful glimmer. Her lips curled upwards like a half-moon, eyes sharpened like two steel blades, and her spine completely straight, shied away from the comfort of the red divan.
“Is all of this really necessary?” My attention turned to the tall shelves filled with history books, each one heavier than the other. “It seems to me as if the great Duke has already made up his mind.”
Our eyes intertwined, causing Alvin’s figure to lock itself in, hoping to appear more menacing than it truly was. Once, my heart would tremble with horror looking upon that disdainful, heartless glance, forcing my soul to turn into nothing but a shameful shard of glass, cowering at his feet. But things were different now. I could see the exhaustion on his body as the generous gift of ageless beauty slowly began losing its power, turning him into the shell of the man he once was.
Had he always looked like this? I couldn’t help but wonder if my memories deceived me.
“Answer my question, Ophelia Criswell.”
My stretched fingers pulled a bright yellow book from the layers of shelves, the only one that stood out like a sore thumb. Big, dark letters read ‘Nobility of Ashen Kingdom’.
“It seems elder sister mistook the library with her chambers... I simply reminded her of a lady’s etiquette.”
“How insolent! You dare educate your older sister!?” His screams echoed through the room as he poured all his frustration onto the easiest, most gullible target.
Not like I expected it to be any different.
Even though his study had been carefully darkened to emphasize his authority, nothing could hide away my sister’s prideful glimmer. Her lips curled upwards like a half-moon, eyes sharpened like two steel blades, and her spine completely straight, shied away from the comfort of the red divan.
“Is all of this really necessary?” My attention turned to the tall shelves filled with history books, each one heavier than the other. “It seems to me as if the great Duke has already made up his mind.”
Our eyes intertwined, causing Alvin’s figure to lock itself in, hoping to appear more menacing than it truly was. Once, my heart would tremble with horror looking upon that disdainful, heartless glance, forcing my soul to turn into nothing but a shameful shard of glass, cowering at his feet. But things were different now. I could see the exhaustion on his body as the generous gift of ageless beauty slowly began losing its power, turning him into the shell of the man he once was.
Had he always looked like this? I couldn’t help but wonder if my memories deceived me.
“Answer my question, Ophelia Criswell.”
My stretched fingers pulled a bright yellow book from the layers of shelves, the only one that stood out like a sore thumb. Big, dark letters read ‘Nobility of Ashen Kingdom’.
“It seems elder sister mistook the library with her chambers... I simply reminded her of a lady’s etiquette.”
“How insolent! You dare educate your older sister!?” His screams echoed through the room as he poured all his frustration onto the easiest, most gullible target.
small note: I'm not a native english speaker so forgive me for any mistakes.
Thanks guys ! ~
