Help Desired - Do My First Chapters Draw You In?

[SabrielSilver]

Hello there,

I’m Sabriel Silver, and I just shared the prologue and first chapter of my story, The Amulet of Duality, here on Scribble Hub. It's a fantasy romance that follows Solena, a Healer torn between light and shadow who inherits necormantic powers and a goddess' prophecy. This was inspired by my own journey through mental illness, the light my fiance has brought into my life, and a conversation between good friends. I’d love feedback on the pacing and setup—do the first chapters pull you in?

Read The Amulet of Duality here.

Thank you in advance for any insights!
Sabriel Silver

 

[Nolff]

Hello there,

I’m Sabriel Silver, and I just shared the prologue and first chapter of my story, The Amulet of Duality, here on Scribble Hub. It's a fantasy romance that follows Solena, a Healer torn between light and shadow who inherits necormantic powers and a goddess' prophecy. This was inspired by my own journey through mental illness, the light my fiance has brought into my life, and a conversation between good friends. I’d love feedback on the pacing and setup—do the first chapters pull you in?1

Read The Amulet of Duality here.

Thank you in advance for any insights!
Sabriel Silver

@SailusGebel
@Paul_Tromba
@RepresentingEnvy

I'm no fantasy guy, but I'll let them know that there's a book to kill some time.

 

[Representing_Tromba]

Hello there,

I’m Sabriel Silver, and I just shared the prologue and first chapter of my story, The Amulet of Duality, here on Scribble Hub. It's a fantasy romance that follows Solena, a Healer torn between light and shadow who inherits necormantic powers and a goddess' prophecy. This was inspired by my own journey through mental illness, the light my fiance has brought into my life, and a conversation between good friends. I’d love feedback on the pacing and setup—do the first chapters pull you in?

Read The Amulet of Duality here.

Thank you in advance for any insights!
Sabriel Silver

The first chapter is very well written. The setting is very grim-dark from what I can gleam (let me know if not). Both main characters we get introduced to seem very much like an enemies to lovers opening with a balance of life and death vibe so props there. Because this is the first chapter, words like Eldrazi and Voidfiend lack any real weight so having some detailed descriptions of them would help. You did go into some of the Eldrazi lore so that was decent. Though the Voidfiend didn't add much for the imagination. The pacing was well kept but I had a hard time keeping up with the fight scene. It felt like the fight scene at the end of A Darker Shade of Magic by V.E. Shwab. All together, this is a good first chapter. Good job!

 

[RepresentingWrath]

It does not pull me in.

 

[BLIGHT_ZERO]

It does not pull me in.

brodie wanted his iseki harem by any means necessary?