Hello, I'm new to writing fiction. Please provide feedback.

[BlueSpear]

Link to my story.

I'm new to writing fiction. After reading stories on here and RR for the last few years, I decided to try writing.

English is my second language, but I hope it's bearable, if not good.

All feedback, positive or negative, welcome. Any pointers to improve would be greatly appreciated.

Thank you.

 

[greyblob]

Link to my story.

I'm new to writing fiction. After reading stories on here and RR for the last few years, I decided to try writing.

English is my second language, but I hope it's bearable, if not good.

All feedback, positive or negative, welcome. Any pointers to improve would be greatly appreciated.

Thank you.

it's pretty good actually. dialogue needs work though
and I'm curious, why would someone jumping off a bridge take of their shoes?

 

[Amok]

and I'm curious, why would someone jumping off a bridge take of their shoes?

hobos need shoes 2

 

[greyblob]

hobos need shoes 2

they loot everything off the corpses anyway