Give it to me hard

[DevPain]

Ream me, folks. Not getting the kind of traction I'd hoped for and I need to know what it is that I need to change about the story. It is a slow-burn so maybe that's why is what I figure but an outside opinion still helps.

Earth Conqueror Green

The isn't a story about a plucky human rising against the odds. That story is done and dusted. This is the story of a little green man from a faraway alien world summoned to Earth upon its apocalyptic end. He comes alongside a horde of ravenous, murderous monsters that deal...

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[Deleted member 266]

I'll give it a go

This is purely me. but

Chapter 1

This part, the epigraph is too long

--- Stricken Records of Tuluth the Southern Sage ---

There is too much I have not yet invested in, in my opinion.

One good sentence is the perfect epigraph.

two can still be good.

But 3 sentences is the absolute limit.

----

The story is fine, the plot is interesting enough, and it moves forward.

I think it suffers a bit because... the... way you tell it can be more... dynamic.

Currently, it is. "He did this", "he saw that", "he hates this" "He etc etc

one thing flows into another like a long slide, but the speed is very... consistent.

The focus of the reader follows the MC, but there is too little variation for me

I think you need to pepper it with a bit more

I don't know...

cadence?

I found it difficult to read not because the story is slow, I think

It is because it so...

Regular and uses the same "distance" from the scene

and the same energy/ tempo

That's what I think.