Free feedback

[Zenomew]

Hi! I’m offering free feedback for your stories! Feel free to share them for an honest review and suggestions.

No BL,smut or sports

 

[RepresentingWrath]

It's this season, huh?

 

[Zenomew]

It's this season, huh?

Nah I just feel like giving reviews and learning new things from other stories

 

[Nevafrost]

The Truth is Mysterious

The four princesses are trying to solve a mystery together. The path won't be an easy one and they will have to confront so many obstacles. While trying to unravel the mystery, they will meet their destinied partners and some untold truths. However, they will unravel the truth behind all...

www.scribblehub.com

Thanks

 

[RepresentingWrath]

Nah I just feel like giving reviews and learning new things from other stories

If you do it long enough, you will notice other free feedback threads sprouting.

 

[Representing_Tromba]

If you wouldn't mind, would you give me your thoughts on this story?

The Supernatural Case of an Accidental Time Traveler Volume 1

Ever consider going back in time? Is it on purpose and to a specific time? Well, not this time in The Supernatural Case of an Accidental Time Traveler. This story is the first in a series of time-travel escapades with various supernatural and mythological undertones scattered throughout the...

www.scribblehub.com

 

[Dragon_SAMA]

Although I am really afraid of a review but it's important so here mine if you wouldn't mind.
Apotheosis of Primordial Dragon

Apotheosis of Primordial Dragon

The protagonist, once an enthusiastic observer of celestial phenomena, experiences a catastrophic event when a meteorite strikes her. Although she dies, she is given a second chance at life as a primordial dragon. Watch as she grapples with her new identity and the reality of being a dragon...

www.scribblehub.com

 

[Zenomew]

The Truth is Mysterious

The four princesses are trying to solve a mystery together. The path won't be an easy one and they will have to confront so many obstacles. While trying to unravel the mystery, they will meet their destinied partners and some untold truths. However, they will unravel the truth behind all...

www.scribblehub.com

Thanks

The setting is pretty unclear like why are the princes living in a creepy old castle in middle of nowhere

What is the magic structure? Do only royalty have magic or is it a unique bloodline magic

While Iris is meant to be a central character, her personality and motivations are not strongly conveyed, making her seem interchangeable with her friends. The princes, too, lack distinctive traits, reducing the story’s potential for compelling character dynamics.

Also way too many cliched plot points such as the "mysterious royal princes with magical powers" and the "hidden secrets of the castle," are overused tropes in fantasy. They need a unique twist to stand out.

The mix of light banter and tense suspense detracts from the narrative's overall tone. Consistent emotional stakes would help heighten the intrigue.

I know romance is important but it should not overwhelm the story tone

Also reduce the over discription and maintain a faster pace

 

[KersenBloemNL]

Aura: The soul’s true nature

Auras. These are a power that can only be used by a select few. They grant the user an unique ability linked to their soul. All auras come in unique shapes and forms. It is unknown how many people roam the gigantic city with one. Ymeno tries to live life...

www.scribblehub.com

If you want to :)

 

[LesserCodex]

Well, it's free so I guess I might as well. Though comments are quick to point out things I'll still take a free feedback.

A Tamer’s Adventure

Martyn, a young staunch panther-kin male, must find a way to power under his class as a monster tamer. Now fending for himself as an adventurer, he finds a chance when his failure rewards him, sparking a drive within him. To build a loving and strong monster girl, Harem! Note:...

www.scribblehub.com

 

[Zenomew]

If you wouldn't mind, would you give me your thoughts on this story?

The Supernatural Case of an Accidental Time Traveler Volume 1

Ever consider going back in time? Is it on purpose and to a specific time? Well, not this time in The Supernatural Case of an Accidental Time Traveler. This story is the first in a series of time-travel escapades with various supernatural and mythological undertones scattered throughout the...

www.scribblehub.com

The attention to historical detail is impressive as well as the conversation and interaction between Lou Barrett and other characters

Lengthy text: The text is lengthy and often bogged down with explanations and exposition.

Improvement: Consider trimming down explanations and keeping the story moving with a balance of action and dialogue. Show more instead of telling.
Excessive Explanation:

Info dump: Much of the supernatural backstory is conveyed through a “lore dump” rather than naturally revealing information.

Improvement: Integrate supernatural explanations into the action or conversations more gradually. This keeps readers engaged and curious.


Dialogue Tags and Descriptions: Some dialogue is followed by overly detailed or redundant character reactions or unnecessary descriptions.

Improvement: Simplify where possible. Dialogue itself can convey emotion, and the context often makes descriptive lines unnecessary.


Setting Description:

Issue: While some locations are described(and extremely well detailed too ?), certain descriptions (like the tavern) feel too detailed without necessarily moving the plot forward.

Improvement: Focus on vivid, concise descriptions that serve the story's mood and plot.

Foreshadowing: Drop hints or clues about the supernatural,plot points etc instead of explicitly explaining everything in one sitting.

Conflict Focus: Show more of the stakes and consequences through action, dialogue, and choices rather than lengthy exposition.

Emotional Impact: Explore how Lou feels beyond just confusion or surprise — moments of fear, doubt, or even anger can deepen reader connection.

Do any of these points resonate? please let me know

 

[Representing_Tromba]

The attention to historical detail is impressive as well as the conversation and interaction between Lou Barrett and other characters

Lengthy text: The text is lengthy and often bogged down with explanations and exposition.

Improvement: Consider trimming down explanations and keeping the story moving with a balance of action and dialogue. Show more instead of telling.
Excessive Explanation:

Info dump: Much of the supernatural backstory is conveyed through a “lore dump” rather than naturally revealing information.

Improvement: Integrate supernatural explanations into the action or conversations more gradually. This keeps readers engaged and curious.


Dialogue Tags and Descriptions: Some dialogue is followed by overly detailed or redundant character reactions or unnecessary descriptions.

Improvement: Simplify where possible. Dialogue itself can convey emotion, and the context often makes descriptive lines unnecessary.


Setting Description:

Issue: While some locations are described(and extremely well detailed too ?), certain descriptions (like the tavern) feel too detailed without necessarily moving the plot forward.

Improvement: Focus on vivid, concise descriptions that serve the story's mood and plot.

Foreshadowing: Drop hints or clues about the supernatural,plot points etc instead of explicitly explaining everything in one sitting.

Conflict Focus: Show more of the stakes and consequences through action, dialogue, and choices rather than lengthy exposition.

Emotional Impact: Explore how Lou feels beyond just confusion or surprise — moments of fear, doubt, or even anger can deepen reader connection.

Do any of these points resonate? please let me know

These help a lot.

 

[Nevafrost]

The setting is pretty unclear like why are the princes living in a creepy old castle in middle of nowhere

What is the magic structure? Do only royalty have magic or is it a unique bloodline magic

While Iris is meant to be a central character, her personality and motivations are not strongly conveyed, making her seem interchangeable with her friends. The princes, too, lack distinctive traits, reducing the story’s potential for compelling character dynamics.

Also way too many cliched plot points such as the "mysterious royal princes with magical powers" and the "hidden secrets of the castle," are overused tropes in fantasy. They need a unique twist to stand out.

The mix of light banter and tense suspense detracts from the narrative's overall tone. Consistent emotional stakes would help heighten the intrigue.

I know romance is important but it should not overwhelm the story tone

Also reduce the over discription and maintain a faster pace

I'm really grateful for the review.
Well, it’s supposed to be mystery. But, the story focuses on the various romance tropes as well. What you said is absolutely right. I should balance both. And, the pacing should be faster. I will work on it.

 

[Zenomew]

Although I am really afraid of a review but it's important so here mine if you wouldn't mind.
Apotheosis of Primordial Dragon

Apotheosis of Primordial Dragon

The protagonist, once an enthusiastic observer of celestial phenomena, experiences a catastrophic event when a meteorite strikes her. Although she dies, she is given a second chance at life as a primordial dragon. Watch as she grapples with her new identity and the reality of being a dragon...

www.scribblehub.com

This is a big one I can't really give you a general feedback if it is okay with you I plan on a detailed chapterwise feedback and suggestions

 

[AdOtherwise]

Hi! I’m offering free feedback for your stories! Feel free to share them for an honest review and suggestions.

No BL,smut or sports

Lowly Ascent

Within a desolate realm, where discarded worlds were stitched together, a rupture tore open, releasing a small child into the fragmented expanse. Above him, the sky revealed three eerie moons, while an ominous black mass loomed ominously in their wake. Disoriented and engulfed by a putrid...

www.scribblehub.com

 

[Zenomew]

Well, it's free so I guess I might as well. Though comments are quick to point out things I'll still take a free feedback.

A Tamer’s Adventure

Martyn, a young staunch panther-kin male, must find a way to power under his class as a monster tamer. Now fending for himself as an adventurer, he finds a chance when his failure rewards him, sparking a drive within him. To build a loving and strong monster girl, Harem! Note:...

www.scribblehub.com

I don't really do smut I mentioned that before

Lowly Ascent

Within a desolate realm, where discarded worlds were stitched together, a rupture tore open, releasing a small child into the fragmented expanse. Above him, the sky revealed three eerie moons, while an ominous black mass loomed ominously in their wake. Disoriented and engulfed by a putrid...

www.scribblehub.com

This is a big one I can't really give you a general feedback if it is okay with you I plan on a detailed chapterwise feedback and suggestions

 

[Dragon_SAMA]

This is a big one I can't really give you a general feedback if it is okay with you I plan on a detailed chapterwise feedback and suggestions

please do as you like, its alright with me.

 

[PBJ_Time]

I'd love any feedback! I asked you before already, but here I am again because why not, lol.

Beware the Horde [Isekai LitRPG]

New chapters every MWF, 8:00 PM EST. Also available on Royal Road. *** ~Too raw to live, too far to die.~ MMA fanatic and local champion Hajime Kato once thought the world was his oyster. Now, after his untimely death, he gets thrown into a new reality dominated by a game screen...

www.scribblehub.com

 

[Cloudee77]

I am rewriting a previously written story. So, any feedback will be great. Thank you ^^

Reincarnation of the Totem

Slipping through the gravels of time, she found herself in a new land that she had never dreamed of. Here she was nothing but a female supporting Character to a tale of a reborn heroine, her life meaningless but around some set lines. Watch her navigate through these murky realms...

www.scribblehub.com

 

[DJ_Rhaposdy]

I'd appreciate any feedback you're willing to give:

Former Isekai Hero was Corrupted by His Over-Poweredness, and Now the People Need Me, a Prince of this World, to Defeat Him and Save Our Land

That boy was supposed to save our world from the wrath of the Demon King. And while the King is dead, an even worse threat has arisen: the boy himself! I don't know how he came to this world, but I'm going to be the one to take him out...

www.scribblehub.com