Format Feedback

AnonUnlimited

????????? (???/???)
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So I want to be clear that while the Genre is smut, this is writing practice for me. I'm looking for feedback on the writing style (not content) which is kind of like a "hybrid play/script" type of format I'm planning to use on something I'll work hard on in the future. I want to know if it's easier to follow or more difficult. I'm experimenting with this format on SH.

If you can brave the Smut, I'd like to know if the scenes are easier or harder to follow with the format. Is it annoying to read? Is it easier to read? Does it seem cheap? Things like that. The link is to the first chapter which contains no smut but starts the format, it's a boring first chapter.


Edit: Oh crap, I meant to post this in the Story Feedback section. I now can't delete this thread, if any mods see this please move it over. Thanks.
 
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lambenttyto

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Apr 7, 2022
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I've always toyed with the idea of writing a script-like format. I've actually read screenplays purely for fun, and they are digestible as a written medium. Just don't do yourself a diservice by leaving out the inner thoughts of your characters, it's what makes fiction unique. I mean, if J.K. Rowling can get away with publishing a script and hundreds of thousands of people give it five star ratings, then, why not, right?
 
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