Ah, thanks for pointing it out! I'm writing this on my laptop using google docs using double line spacing, so I think that may have something to do with the white space.
SH automatically double-spaces new paragraphs so you end up with quadruple spacing.
I read a lot of feedback on this forum about not focusing too much on worldbuilding since readers generally don't care about that in the first few chapters, so it's intentional hahaha but maybe I overdid it.
So I've read it myself. What he is talking about isn't world building that is missing from your story. it is minimum detail of a scene. For example in the prologue at the beginning I thought he was talking to some slime sitting on a desk or something. That was due to how little detail you have provided for the Commander.
Pretty much none of your characters are described both physically nor emotionally apart from little tidbits and whatever else we can extrapolate from dialogue. Combine that with the fact that a lot of your dialogue is, well, empty. There isn't much info given to us about the characters - in fact i couldn't even imagine any of them in my mind as I was trying to read it. Nor I could imagine what they might do afterward.
You don't need to tell readers that this is country X it is at war with Y and Z and other historical minutiae. what you need is to help readers paint the picture in their mind. He is in a brand new world but he doesn't bother to notice any differences which means this world is modern? I see you trying to do that in the 1st chapter but it isn't enough in my opinion. Especially since you don't describe the inner word of the MC apart from few exclamations.
Now to the MC - he is passive. Like really passive. All he had done throughout the two chapters is react to others speaking or doing things. even his trip to bookstore is specifically worded to be a passive one. "walk aimlessly" - "presented by a bookstore by luck without even trying to find it" - "given history book" - "proceed to infodump about world setting" The only active part of that was him asking for a book and even that was worded as if the goddess expected him to ask for it and just left it there for him to pick up.
The reason why passivity is bad is that once again the reader has no clue where the story would head on onward. There is no plan of action that MC managed to convey to us with his inner thoughts or set of actions. Whatever is happening is too ambiguous to even react to. Without the ability to properly wonder and predict - readers lack the interest in the upcoming plot. Which could be okay if you were writing slice of life, but you don't really have a lot of meat on everyday interactions either. It is mostly just people talking to each other.
