First battle chapter

[Nazet]

Hello, everyone. I just published Chapter 9, Fury vs. Elegance. It's the first big fight in my book, Asuka Kazama vs. Lili Rochefort.
I'd like you to read it and give me your opinion on the fight. I tried to preserve the spirit of Tekken while maintaining the narrative of the story.
I hope you like it!

Tsukikage: Moon Shadows - Chapter 9 - Fury vs Elegance ​

 

[unlaumy]

(Absolute silence.)
(Tension thick in the air.)
(No one knows who will fall first.)

At the end of the chapter, why are these put inside parentheses?

 

[Corty]

At the end of the chapter, why are these put inside parentheses?

Because it's AI-generated. The formatting is already a giveaway.

 

[Rookieqw]

Because it's AI-generated. The formatting is already a giveaway.

It is? I was beginning to read the chapter to give my input...

There was no time to think. Lili pressed forward with a sequence blending grace and strength — rapid punches, spinning kicks, low sweeps and leaps that defied gravity. Each strike was calculated, forcing Asuka to dodge, block and counter in a rhythm that nearly stole her breath.

CLANG! THUD!

The sound of impact echoed across the tatami. For the first time, Asuka felt real pressure — her opponent wasn’t just blocking anymore, she was striking with intent.

Kaido stepped forward, eyes wide.

Yeah, feels like an AI.

Anyway, OP. For a Tekken fanfiction, chapter 9 is way too long to hold onto the main battle scenes. It should happen sooner. Brawls is one of the appeals of this franchise.

 

[unlaumy]

Because it's AI-generated. The formatting is already a giveaway.

But I really want to hear what kind of excuse the dice app addict will make about it.

(for this one, maybe I should call them parentheses lord?)

It's boring to just expose them directly. Might as well make it a game, considering that this kind of dudes never give up.

 

[LuoirM]

Ain't no way AI users are getting this lazy

 

[Nazet]

At the end of the chapter, why are these put inside parentheses?

That's how I've seen people do it... I don't read that much, but some of the ones I've read are like that.
And thank you for saying that, I'd really like to hear more opinions, particularly because this wasn't an easy chapter to write. I've only just started writing and I still don't know the best way to write an extended fight scene.

It is? I was beginning to read the chapter to give my input...


Yeah, feels like an AI.

Anyway, OP. For a Tekken fanfiction, chapter 9 is way too long to hold onto the main battle scenes. It should happen sooner. Brawls is one of the appeals of this franchise.

Do you really think so? The focus of the story isn't just battles, I'm trying to do something different from what you normally see in Tekken fanfic. But I understand what you mean, so in the first chapter there's a little joke, and in the second there's already a fight, though not as intense as this one.
Do you guys really think it looks like AI?
It's just that I write in Portuguese and translate it into English with translators, I'm not very proficient at writing everything in English.

And I translate it into English to reach more people, because if I leave it in Portuguese, many automatic translators make everything confusing.
I'll change it, thanks for your feedback guys

 

[Rookieqw]

Do you really think so? The focus of the story isn't just battles, I'm trying to do something different from what you normally see in Tekken fanfic. But I understand what you mean, so in the first chapter there's a little joke, and in the second there's already a fight, though not as intense as this one.

Yeah. Ask yourself, what do people think when they hear Tekken? Battles. Your original spin on the story is better to be saved for your personal OC fiction. Now, there are a lot of people out there; there are chances you'll find fans eventually, but the majority expect serious battles from the get-go.

 

[Nazet]

Yeah. Ask yourself, what do people think when they hear Tekken? Battles. Your original spin on the story is better to be saved for your personal OC fiction. Now, there are a lot of people out there; there are chances you'll find fans eventually, but the majority expect serious battles from the get-go.

Yup, i know that. That's why the name isn't Tekken first, it's Tsukikage first to make the distinction that it doesn't focus entirely on what is expected of Tekken. But seeing your feedback, I'll try to change my synopsis to be clearer. Thanks

 

[xizl]

who trynna run some tekken with me

 

[Woolen_Monkey]

(Absolute silence.)
(Tension thick in the musk.)
(No one knows who will fart first.)