Finally revised my story and posting it bit by bit. I need to know if the first chapter is a good enough hook or no. (Review swap obviously)

AimeEmile

New member
Joined
Apr 9, 2025
Messages
20
Points
3
Synopsis:

Society is rarely built with equality in mind.

After the first recorded instance of an awakening the 1st of April 1925, and the subsequent attacks of monsters, the world began adapting itself to try and conform to this new status quo.

Saint, rank, lair, liberator... A whole new lexicon was created.

A century later the world has managed to stabilize itself. However, inequalities became even more rampant. Average civilians and mediocre Saints were left in the dust with no way to make their voices heard.

And retired C-rank Fighter, Benjamin Hosmer, laughed.

He was fifty-four, limping, and far past his prime but this reality pleased him. Finally, a good opportunity to get some fame and power back without kneeling to those dogs of the government.

Time to make some goddamn money!

Once he and his crew got out of the traffic...

...

They still lived in Houston after all.

Here are the credits for the wonderful illustrators that helped me along the way:

Protagonist's Designs and Banner by: Mael

Antagonist's Designs (Target + S-ranks) and Additional Art by: Ade P

Cover Art by: AstaVanderspeigle (Denise)

Release Schedule of the first batch:

Everyday at 8pm (slightly earlier on the sites that don't offer the US timeframe)

-Today and Tomorrow = The First Contract against Bonnie Estrella Soules.

-25th and 26th = A "Peaceful" Negotiation led by the Queen of the family.

-27th and 28th = The Second Contract against Ishmael Cohen.

-29th = The Clean-Up of the Crimes led by the King of the family.

-30th and 31st = The Daily Life of our Characters in a Traffic Jam and the teasing of the next contracts. (The Martial Artist and the Guy with the Stache on the second illustration)

Where you can read this story:

-Scribble Hub: https://www.scribblehub.com/series/1532062/their-cry-through-the-barrel/
 

Hazzybae

New member
Joined
Sep 8, 2025
Messages
8
Points
3
Honestly could be in a different world, especially if your gonna be in that city for awhile, and make it feel Houston unless you want it to be in Houston lol. But it's a great start I would just update setting?
 

AimeEmile

New member
Joined
Apr 9, 2025
Messages
20
Points
3
Honestly could be in a different world, especially if your gonna be in that city for awhile, and make it feel Houston unless you want it to be in Houston lol. But it's a great start I would just update setting?
Thanks a lot for the feedback! I actually used ScribbleHub's advices to make the start more digestible.

I do really want it to be Houston so I'll keep the city. However! I know one city can be boring.

Therefore, while the rest of the upcoming chapters will focus on setting up the mafia and their dynamic, the following will begin to expand the world. (Florida, how are the Northern States doing, a France vs England rivalry, etc... to make the world as alive as possible.)

Finally, if you like otherworld story, I got a cowboy-far-west Isekai in the work! I'll show it to you when I'm done.
 
Top