Feedback on "The Final Boss Reset You!" (My First Story)

Tyhond

New member
Joined
May 24, 2021
Messages
8
Points
3
I posted the first story I made on Scribble Hub, "The Final Boss Reset You!"
The main genre is Comedy and the sub-genre are Fantasy, Slice-Of-Life, Drama Romance.

Summary:

“MUFUFUFU~! You have entered the final level of this world, the Demon Lord’s Domain! And I congratulated you for making this far. However, I have never been beaten before and the reason why is because you I am the almighty final boss! Here and now, ready to return you to the start!”
Nameiko Lessime, or Nameless for short. A young girl assigned to be the final boss of a VRMMORPG game—WAIT! She is a hacker who decided to be the final boss of the game. The undefeated demon lord, a sadist that RESET their progress back to nothingness beginning! And for that reason. . .
The Final Boss Reset You!

Any feedback will do! Please and thank you! ^-^

The Final Boss Reset You! | Scribble Hub
 

Snusmumriken

Vagabond and traveller
Joined
May 22, 2021
Messages
449
Points
103
Hard to judge by the first chapter alone, especially if the story looks to be written in a nonsensical style.

Watch out for the tenses. you are using the present tense when it should be past (actions) and vice versa (in the dialogue), there are also quite a few run-on sentences that make it harder to read.

i would say it needs at least more chapters because the premise of the story isn't actually explained yet. The stakes aren't really clear.
 

Agentt

Thighs
Joined
Oct 8, 2020
Messages
3,547
Points
183
All I can say is, yep. Hacking indeed works that way. Totally accurate
 
Top