Feedback on New Story

[Pixxie]

I need feedback on Title, Synopsis and Prologue of my brand new story. What do you think? Is it interesting and taboo enough?

Title: Taboo: The Forbidden Romance

Synopsis: Eighteen-year-old Clora was enjoying her post high school life. But she has a secret to keep: her boyfriend's a twenty-six-year-old office worker Dan. She found him to be such a great person in her eyes, that she just couldn't resist him. Then her friends found out that she had a boyfriend. How will she be able to keep her boyfriend a secret now?

Prologue​

I promised my friends to always tell them my secrets, no matter how bad they may seem, and I felt comfortable with it except this one. I was about to eat lunch with a guy who's eight years my senior. My friends told me to never date guys who were two or three years older than me, claiming they would always abandon me once I hit twenty-five. But is that true? Because from my experience, he didn't do anything other than chatting with me since he used his umbrella to protect me from the rain, always walking me home safely.

 

[RepresentingCaution]

they would always abandon me once I hit twenty-five

No, no. Once you hit twenty-five, you find out about his thirty-seven-year-old meth buddy who keeps popping in and out if his life. He wanted to be with you because you were loyal and innocent. He tells you stories about his fuckups in a way that make him look like a complete victim, leaving out the role that drugs played in his failed marriage, his failed attempt at a phD, and his loss of inheritance, etc. He tells you he doesn't have friends because he indulges in meth every time you go to visit your parents, and you don't realize that's the reason there's always rotting food in the fridge when you come home until months after you've moved back in with your parents and you meet one of his old friends.

 

[ManwX]

No, no. Once you hit twenty-five, you find out about his thirty-seven-year-old meth buddy who keeps popping in and out if his life. He wanted to be with you because you were loyal and innocent. He tells you stories about his fuckups in a way that make him look like a complete victim, leaving out the role that drugs played in his failed marriage, his failed attempt at a phD, and his loss of inheritance, etc. He tells you he doesn't have friends because he indulges in meth every time you go to visit your parents, and you don't realize that's the reason there's always rotting food in the fridge when you come home until months after you've moved back in with your parents and you meet one of his old friends.