Feedback on my beast taming novel

Kutley

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Hello, everyone. I'm Kutley. I started a novel not long ago with a few chapters now. I feel like something is off while I was writing, but it shadowed me. Please, if you don't mind, could you please check it out here?


Please give feedback.
Title is Age of Beast Tamers and Exorcists

Let me leave the synopsis below

After eight different reincarnations of being a human, Orin Stonewood wakes up in an ancient throne room to realize he’s reincarnated as a dragon, the emperor of the Infernosphere. The Infernosphere was a realm of main fire creatures. Waking up in the body of Zmey Ashbane, he learns about human’s hatred towards his kind. Beasts were just of a single definition to them – maniacal animals that should either be tamed or exorcised.

He had spent his previous seven lives through unimaginable sorrow at being killed by his loved one. After dying the same way each time, he couldn’t care less and still would continue to hope for a chance to end the ritual cycle. To live a normal life. However, fate worked in sync with the Ninefold Resurrection Ritual that plunged him into this mystery. To be reincarnated nine times and die through the same source. And in his eighth reincarnation, he committed suicide to escape the recurring sorrow.

Now a ruthless Western dragon named Zmey Ashbane, in the ninth and last chance, who governed the entire Infernosphere, must choose what was best for him. Either to end up getting killed by his loved one, become a Beast Tamer’s tame, or die at the hands of a Beast Exorcist. The choice was his to make.

Follow Zmey Ashbane riding through the tides of a mysterious world consisting of marked humans, the Great Sage Hall, necrots from the Shadow Legacy who threaten the balance, and beasts from Infernosphere, Abyssal Waters, Noctisveil, Terramagna, and the Aerostorm Peaks.
 

KaitoFragment

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Hi.
Sure il check it out. Could you check mine out and review it please and il review yours.
 

CharlesEBrown

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You have two minor strikes against you on that first page, at least for me:
1. Chapters with titles but not numbers. Have seen a few stories where the order got mixed up and without chapter numbers it was easy to get lost while reading.
2. Verb tense shifts and repetition of details in the summary - both red flags for me.

Could summarize it pretty much as this, I think:

After eight different incarnations as a human, Orin Stonewood woke up in an ancient throne room to discover that he reincarnated as dragon Zmey Ashbane, emperor of the Infernosphere, a realm mainly of fire creatures.

Seven of his previous lives ended with him killed and betrayed by his loved ones, and now he hopes for a chance to end the cycle that something called the Ninefold Resurrection Ritual had thrust him into ages ago; to live a normal life. In his eighth life, he committed suicide to escape the recurring sorrow. Now he finds himself in the body of a beast, and in a world where humans see beasts as nothing more than maniacal animals that should either be tamed or exorcised.

Now he seems bound to one of three dire fates - to be again killed and betrayed by loved ones, to become the servant of a Beast Tamer, or to die at the hands of a Beast Exorcist...
 

Kutley

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You have two minor strikes against you on that first page, at least for me:
1. Chapters with titles but not numbers. Have seen a few stories where the order got mixed up and without chapter numbers it was easy to get lost while reading.
2. Verb tense shifts and repetition of details in the summary - both red flags for me.

Could summarize it pretty much as this, I think:
Ah, alright. Thanks for looking through it for me. I will definitely correct it. Thanks.
And please, do give feedback on the other chapters. Thank you!
Hi.
Sure il check it out. Could you check mine out and review it please and il review yours.
No problem! I can definitely do that!
 
Last edited:

KaitoFragment

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Ah, alright. Thanks for looking through it for me. I will definitely correct it. Thanks.
And please, do give feedback on the other chapters. Thank you!

No problem! I can definitely do that!
Thanks, I appreciate it. I will check yours out too.
 
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