Your story and premise are interesting, and the prose is nice. However, you came here for advice, so here are some of my thoughts.
First of all, the title. It sounds cool and is high-flown. But. It's not engaging and is far too generic to draw me in.
Secondly, I have multiple problems with your synopsis. In essence: It's not good. And you abuse your : button, putting it into places where it makes no sense. And you need to condense some of your things and give me a very good reason why I want to read your story and engage with it in general, in the first place. Oh, and number your chapters. It just makes sense.
And why do you put "" where they don't belong?
I like your prose. It is good, but you rely too heavily on sounding cool and special and as if you have MC syndrome. Which is not good for a book.
For example, "Alder's whisper scraped like shards: "I know… This child has already read the world's ingratitude in my eyes. He refuses to draw breath in such a world." Her final scream died unborn. Her flushed face paled like molten wax, veins vanishing. The boy was born into silence heavier than death. When laid beside his mother—now swallowed by death's absolute silence—the infant suddenly wailed, a shattered lute's cry: not for life, but a lament for the grave.". There's good prose, then there's over the top. The dialogue sounds scripted, and the whole thing belongs in a play/movie, not a webnovel. I could delete half the words here, and it would have the same impact.
And the dialogue itself - make it sound natural, for god's sake! Personally, this is the worst part of your entire writing. Make it sound natural, like something you or me would say. It shouldn't sound like a soap opera or some gothic, edgy movie.
It's a good prose, I like it, but it needs some editing. Delete some unnecessary words, switch a few things around, replace some words, expand on some details, and get the reader emotionally invested in the characters, not the world.
That's it for my advice. But your story is good - you've gained a reader! Congrats!
Just... your title and synopsis. First impressions count, you know?
Anyway, just a little editing, and you're golden! Have a good day and good luck with your story!
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