Fantasy novel review

[Author.eren]

The Sovereign Ascendant

Eren stood at the peak of human achievement—richer than empires, stronger than nations, and feared by all. A man who conquered the world through sheer will, intelligence, and unrelenting ambition. Yet, in the end, his reward was nothing but emptiness. When he chose to leave that life behind...

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The sovereign Ascendant

 

[ElijahRyne]

The Sovereign Ascendant

Eren stood at the peak of human achievement—richer than empires, stronger than nations, and feared by all. A man who conquered the world through sheer will, intelligence, and unrelenting ambition. Yet, in the end, his reward was nothing but emptiness. When he chose to leave that life behind...

www.scribblehub.com

The sovereign Ascendant

My guy, today is not a good day to ask for a review… Don’t say no one warned you…

 

[StoneInky]

Am I supposed give you a link and ask for a review, or am I supposed to review something here?

 

[Author.eren]

My guy, today is not a good day to ask for a review… Don’t say no one warned you…

What do you mean?

 

[ElijahRyne]

What do you mean?

It is April first…

 

[Author.eren]

It is April first…

Yes, It slipped from my mind.

 

[7ydy]

nothing happened in chapter 1 so i read chapter 2 and somehow less than nothing happened

 

[Author.eren]

I made chapters very short, isn't it? Introduction is important and that's the purpose of initial chapters.

nothing happened in chapter 1 so i read chapter 2 and somehow less than nothing happened

 

[7ydy]

I made chapters very short, isn't it? Introduction is important and that's the purpose of initial chapters.

chapter 2 should literally be your glossary. if i were you, i'd copy all that info into glossary and delete chapter 2 and just write scenes with the characters, describing them along the way.

"looking out on the city confidently" and i'm kinda shrugging

your prose was good enough that i wanted to see more, but there was nothing more to see

 

[Author.eren]

chapter 2 should literally be your glossary. if i were you, i'd copy all that info into glossary and delete chapter 2 and just write scenes with the characters, describing them along the way.

"looking out on the city confidently" and i'm kinda shrugging

your prose was good enough that i wanted to see more, but there was nothing more to see

That's just difference in opinion.

I don't like these things things to be explained in glossary.
I like stories where everything is described along the story.

Thanks for review, I'll think of it.

 

[AncestorDuck]

That's just difference in opinion.

I don't like these things things to be explained in glossary.
I like stories where everything is described along the story.

Thanks for review, I'll think of it.

I just read chapter 2, and I also think you should rewrite it. In its current form, it's just an info dump. Try to reveal the details one after another, not all at once.

 

[Author.eren]

I just read chapter 2, and I also think you should rewrite it. In its current form, it's just an info dump. Try to reveal the details one after another, not all at once.

I made changes, I think It's better now.