English language is my second language, is this Prologue is readable (writing tips)

[BEETLESME]

The Adventures of Kim[Npc] - PROLOGUE | Scribble Hub

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Review, if it's readable...?

 

[Rookieqw]

The Adventures of Kim[Npc] - PROLOGUE | Scribble Hub

www.scribblehub.com

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Review, if it's readable...?

Yes, it is very readable.

There are some mistakes:

I heard thuds in quick succession,

I think it should be "I heard thuds in quick succession."

I trembled as I held onto a fading person.

I think it would be better as "I trembled as I held onto the fading person.", since the MC knows the character.

Overall, not bad. You provided enough information to pique readers interest. If it works or not, who knows?

 

[Ai-chan]

The Adventures of Kim[Npc] - PROLOGUE | Scribble Hub

www.scribblehub.com

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Review, if it's readable...?

 

[P00H]

bashfully

 

[Tremaglif]

The aliens took your novel's page, friend