Editorial Critique Requests [OPEN]

[MFontana]

After a fair bit of consideration, I'm opting to open my own critiques thread for those who might be interested in getting thorough feedback and constructive critique on their stories.
With my writing schedule, I will only be able to address a few full critiques every month at best, and I do have a specific format for requests being posted here, because this thread is intended for those who are looking for serious critique, any submissions that do not follow the submission format below will be ignored. Otherwise, feedback and critiques will be provided at my availability.

The submission format (form) is partially my way of not only gauging your commitment and interest in getting serious feedback, but is also my way of determining what kind of feedback you're looking for, and will help me to prioritize which submissions get feedback and when they get it, and also how to deliver that feedback to you. If you do not specify, then you leave it up to my discretion to determine.

As for what you can expect from me for my critiques:
Targeted Critique (Usually takes about 2 hours to type)

• I'll read the first couple of chapters at most, depending on chapter length, and will focus my critique primarily on the subject you are asking for critique on.
• Critiques will be fully detailed breakdowns focused on the technical aspects of the narrative.
• They will strictly be limited to what is presented on the page, and in your text.
• They will be brutal. Honest. and Constructive, with the sole focus of helping you hone your craft.

Full Critique (Can take ~5 - 6 hours to type per chapter depending on chapter length)

• As with the Targeted Critique except that I will be going over the entire chapter (one at a time) with a fine-tooth comb.
• I will break down every element of the chapter, point out what works, and why, as well as what doesn't, and why.
• I will provide suggestions on how to improve your craft and technical expertise and execution.

What I will NOT be doing:

• Telling you to change your story.
• Telling you how to write your story.
• Telling you whether your narrative is good, or bad.
• Writing your story for you.
• Designing your story's systems for you [If you use any].
• Assigning arbitrary ratings to your story.

We all have our own areas of expertise, and backgrounds, and interests, and mine lean heavily towards classical literature regardless of genre, so those are the standards that I will be bringing into every critique. As for genres specifically, I tend to favor reading all manner of Fantasy stories, LitRPG and Isekai, though modernized of late, are still among some of my preferred lighter reading genres; admittedly with a preference for the more classical style rather than their "modernized" formats [with the occasional exceptions].

Spoiler: The Submission Form

Book/Series Title: ____________________________________________
Genre: _____________________________________________
Link: ____________________________________ (Do not just paste a url / link. Format the link as linked text like in the sample form below)
Type of Feedback Requested: (Targeted Critique, Full Critique) - If Targeted, what do you want the critique on?
How would you like to receive your feedback? (Privately / Public)

Spoiler: Sample Form - Filled in

Book/Series Title: _____Restaurant to Another World_______
Genre: _______Isekai/Slice of Life___________
Link: _______Restaurant to Another World________ (Please Hyperlink the text, you can call it whatever you want - This working link takes you to the forum homepage)
Type of Feedback Requested: Targeted Critique - Character Dynamics (For Targeted)
How would you like to receive your feedback? Privately (Via DM Conversation)

Manual URL BBC tags (For anyone who may need it PS: Leave the quotes in, if you copy-paste it.)
[url="YourStory.PageHere.com"]What you want the link to be called.[/url]

 

[c37]

Hey man, I would appreciate some old school criticism.
Book/Series Title: B*stard of Abaddon.
Genre: Dark-fantasy, action, adventure, Litrpg.
Link: My book B*stard of Abaddon.
Type of Feedback Requested: (Targeted Critique, Full Critique) - Full Critique because till now i've only published 3 chapters.
How would you like to receive your feedback? (Privately / Public) - Privately.

 

[Daeron]

Oh about time! I need your input about my new writing on Fantasy Genre!

Book/Series Title: MERCILESS
Genre: Grimdark
Link: MERCILESS
Type of Feedback Requested: (Targeted Critique, Full Critique) - Full Critique, especially for the writing pace and writing style on Prologue. (I'm still trying new things)
How would you like to receive your feedback? (Privately / Public) - Wherever is fine.

Thank you!

 

[Jaymi]

If you’re into isekai stories, I’d appreciate if you gave mine a chance. Im open to any feedback really

Book/Series Title: This Wonderful World We Woke Up In!
Genre: Isekai adventure comedy
Link: This Wonderful World We Woke Up In!
Type of Feedback Requested: any type of critique is welcome, but i’m moest interested in what you think about the two main characters’ dynamic.
How would you like to receive your feedback? You can do it public

 

[Eldoria]

Book/Series Title: MERCILESS
Genre: Grimdark
Link: MERCILESS

Link is not found, dude

 

[c37]

Link is not found, dude

I guess it was removed? it is showing 404 @Daeron.

 

[Daeron]

Link is not found, dude

I guess it was removed? it is showing 404 @Daeron.

I already edit the link, it should be worked.

 

[mythosandmagic]

Please and thank you in advance.
If you would, sir.

 

[Eldoria]

Dude... do you accept a request for targeted, in-depth, and focused feedback? I'd like feedback that focuses on one aspect of the fiction: characterization.

But I know this feedback isn't easy, as it requires you to read several chapters related to that character to analyze them in depth. I have character designs and specific chapters related to those characters.

But even though I've sorted them out... those chapters are still too many because there are 6 characters (protagonist, co-protagonist, antagonist, and supporting characters) that I want to analyze more deeply.

In short, I'm worried... it will be too much work for you. So, I'm not sure about submitting a feedback request.

 

[MFontana]

Dude... do you accept a request for targeted, in-depth, and focused feedback? I'd like feedback that focuses on one aspect of the fiction: characterization.

But I know this feedback isn't easy, as it requires you to read several chapters related to that character to analyze them in depth. I have character designs and specific chapters related to those characters.

But even though I've sorted them out... those chapters are still too many because there are 6 characters (protagonist, co-protagonist, antagonist, and supporting characters) that I want to analyze more deeply.

In short, I'm worried... it will be too much work for you. So, I'm not sure about submitting a feedback request.

Targeted critiques are actually a lot less work than a full critique (Even if I have to do a bit more reading for some of them), because in most full critiques, I'm going paragraph my paragraph through the chapter after giving a general assessment. If we're talking character-studies, analyses, and breakdowns, that's something else entirely.

Go ahead and post the feedback request, El. At the very least, I'd like to think we've established at least some rapport, so I'm not about to ignore you when you ask for help.

Just be sure to let me know what you're looking for critique and feedback on, specifically, and I'll get back to you when I can.
I might just have to do it one character at a time, and a little at a time is all.

 

[Eldoria]

Targeted critiques are actually a lot less work than a full critique (Even if I have to do a bit more reading for some of them), because in most full critiques, I'm going paragraph my paragraph through the chapter after giving a general assessment. If we're talking character-studies, analyses, and breakdowns, that's something else entirely.

Go ahead and post the feedback request, El. At the very least, I'd like to think we've established at least some rapport, so I'm not about to ignore you when you ask for help.

Just be sure to let me know what you're looking for critique and feedback on, specifically, and I'll get back to you when I can.
I might just have to do it one character at a time, and a little at a time is all.

Thank you for your help. I'll send you a feedback request later.

 

[MFontana]

Please and thank you in advance.
If you would, sir.

I've already got your story in my list, but I'd still need you to fill out the submission form if you're looking for a critique here.
It's short, and simple, but also gives me a lot of much-needed information and will help to prioritize the critiques and order that I get to them in.

If you’re into isekai stories, I’d appreciate if you gave mine a chance. Im open to any feedback really

This Wonderful World We Woke Up In!

My senpai has a hero complex. When the bathroom mirror turned into a portal leading to another world, he grabbed my hand and jumped in. I didn’t exactly get a say in it. Now we’re heroes tasked with defeating the Demon King. Senpai thinks this place is wonderful....

www.scribblehub.com

Same for you, Jaymi. I have a submission form and format for a reason, and if you want any critique, I do need you to follow that format.
As I just mentioned above, and in the original post, the form is there so I can get an idea as to what kind of feedback or critique you're looking for.

And yes, I do enjoy reading (and writing) in the Isekai genre.

I'm updating it as well, just incase anyone here doesn't know how to manually code the link in their posts.

 

[Jaymi]

I've already got your story in my list, but I'd still need you to fill out the submission form if you're looking for a critique here.
It's short, and simple, but also gives me a lot of much-needed information and will help to prioritize the critiques and order that I get to them in.

Same for you, Jaymi. I have a submission form and format for a reason, and if you want any critique, I do need you to follow that format.
As I just mentioned above, and in the original post, the form is there so I can get an idea as to what kind of feedback or critique you're looking for.

And yes, I do enjoy reading (and writing) in the Isekai genre.

I'm updating it as well, just incase anyone here doesn't know how to manually code the link in their posts.

Oopsie, edited my original post :)

 

[FRWriter]

I am not only the world's best detective (humbling chumps like L, Conan, or Columbo), but I am also a fortune teller.

ZVARRI! The truth has once again been elegantly revealed to me!

I can see Fontana's future.... please be warned. Setting your eyes on the future is irreversible and may cause a permanent shift in the timeline.

Spoiler: Fontana's Future (100% confirmed 4 realz).

 

[jean-marc21]

After a fair bit of consideration, I'm opting to open my own critiques thread for those who might be interested in getting thorough feedback and constructive critique on their stories.
With my writing schedule, I will only be able to address a few full critiques every month at best, and I do have a specific format for requests being posted here, because this thread is intended for those who are looking for serious critique, any submissions that do not follow the submission format below will be ignored. Otherwise, feedback and critiques will be provided at my availability.

The submission format (form) is partially my way of not only gauging your commitment and interest in getting serious feedback, but is also my way of determining what kind of feedback you're looking for, and will help me to prioritize which submissions get feedback and when they get it, and also how to deliver that feedback to you. If you do not specify, then you leave it up to my discretion to determine.

As for what you can expect from me for my critiques:
Targeted Critique (Usually takes about 2 hours to type)

• I'll read the first couple of chapters at most, depending on chapter length, and will focus my critique primarily on the subject you are asking for critique on.
• Critiques will be fully detailed breakdowns focused on the technical aspects of the narrative.
• They will strictly be limited to what is presented on the page, and in your text.
• They will be brutal. Honest. and Constructive, with the sole focus of helping you hone your craft.

Full Critique (Can take ~5 - 6 hours to type per chapter depending on chapter length)

• As with the Targeted Critique except that I will be going over the entire chapter (one at a time) with a fine-tooth comb.
• I will break down every element of the chapter, point out what works, and why, as well as what doesn't, and why.
• I will provide suggestions on how to improve your craft and technical expertise and execution.

What I will NOT be doing:

• Telling you to change your story.
• Telling you how to write your story.
• Telling you whether your narrative is good, or bad.
• Writing your story for you.
• Designing your story's systems for you [If you use any].
• Assigning arbitrary ratings to your story.

We all have our own areas of expertise, and backgrounds, and interests, and mine lean heavily towards classical literature regardless of genre, so those are the standards that I will be bringing into every critique. As for genres specifically, I tend to favor reading all manner of Fantasy stories, LitRPG and Isekai, though modernized of late, are still among some of my preferred lighter reading genres; admittedly with a preference for the more classical style rather than their "modernized" formats [with the occasional exceptions].

Spoiler: The Submission Form

Book/Series Title: ____________________________________________
Genre: _____________________________________________
Link: ____________________________________ (Do not just paste a url / link. Format the link as linked text like in the sample form below)
Type of Feedback Requested: (Targeted Critique, Full Critique) - If Targeted, what do you want the critique on?
How would you like to receive your feedback? (Privately / Public)

Spoiler: Sample Form - Filled in

Book/Series Title: _____Restaurant to Another World_______
Genre: _______Isekai/Slice of Life___________
Link: _______Restaurant to Another World________ (Please Hyperlink the text, you can call it whatever you want - This working link takes you to the forum homepage)
Type of Feedback Requested: Targeted Critique - Character Dynamics (For Targeted)
How would you like to receive your feedback? Privately (Via DM Conversation)

Manual URL BBC tags (For anyone who may need it PS: Leave the quotes in, if you copy-paste it.)
[url="YourStory.PageHere.com"]What you want the link to be called.[/url]

Hello,

I read your thread and I'm interested in your offer for serious critique. I understand you have a specific format, so here are the details as requested:

Title: Magical Exploration in a Fantasy World
Link: https://www.scribblehub.com/series/2211179/magical-exploration-in-a-fantasy-world/
Genre/Tags: Action, Adventure, Fantasy, Isekai, Psychological, School Life
Chapters posted: 3

What I'm looking for (Targeted Critique):
I would appreciate feedback focused on pacing and character introduction. The story deliberately takes its time to establish atmosphere and the protagonist's inner world before major events. I want to know if this works for a reader, or if it becomes tedious. Specifically:

• Does the first chapter hold attention long enough to reach the "hook"?
• Is Ciel's character clear enough from the beginning?
• Does the relationship with Tania feel earned or rushed?

My self-assessment:

• Strengths I see: Character consistency, world-building, emotional moments, dialogue.
• Weaknesses I suspect: Possibly slow pacing in early chapters, risk of losing impatient readers, descriptions might be too detailed at times.

Additional info: No content warnings needed for the first chapters. The story is a slow-burn character study with a focus on internal development.

Thank you for offering your time and expertise. I understand you have limited availability, so no pressure if you can't get to it.

 

[TheGreatOne6000]

As a pretty young writer, that critique would be appreaciated.

A Promise from Me to You

Talent and change, those two define humanity. Yet, Elliot had neither. As a freshman at Laxus Flare Academy, Elliot Elanderin is surrounded by brilliance and exellence you couldn't find anywhere else. Compared to them, or anyone really, Elliot is pathetically ordinary—someone without a defining...

www.scribblehub.com

Just a slice of life/romance story about the protagonist in the 2nd best highschool in the US. Focuses on the growth of his and his friend's minsets over time.

 

[treze]

Book/Series Title: Dream Dungeon
Genre: LitRPG
Link: Dream Dungeon
Type of Feedback Requested: Targeted Critque - Need feedback on character progression and making the reader care about the character. Anything else that you can give feedback on from the first few chapters is appreciated.
How would you like to receive your feedback? Privately