Arch9CivilReactor
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- Dec 24, 2021
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Just wanted to see what kind of reaction I’d get from sharing a draft of what I’m currently working on. It’s a prequel to a Magical Girl story featuring a responsibility driven protagonist. Set in a typical fantasy kingdom with swords and magic.
The protagonist is Legion #E942, a futuristic mecha combat model who was once a loyal soldier of a machine empire. Due to having a lot of his biological parts and a complete brain, he starts to waver after ‘killing’ with his sensations intact. Starting to doubt what he’d been told.
Due to gaining a conscience, he starts to feel remorse despite believing he was correct in killing the target known as ‘The Saintess’. Legion #E942 was ready to undergo a complete mental examination after he returned to purge the brainwashing the target must have left on him.
Before he could leave, he is hunted down and killed by the family of The Saintess. Their fury and resolve to avenge a now obsolete fleshling despite it having no logical advantage against the empire confused him. He started to doubt.
Even until his death, all he had was the confusion of why they cried for her death. It was irrational and foolish… but somehow heartbreaking at the same time. Memories of a distant past before losing his name had arose.
Was this a family? Why was he jealous?
Why did it seem like the girl was irreplaceable?
In the border between life and death, he is greeted by an unknown entity. A long-haired man dressed in an eastern aesthetic. The man asked if he wanted the answer to his question. If so, all he had to do was protect one person with his life.
Legion #E942 agreed to give up his power to satiate his curiosity. His life was over anyway. It didn’t matter if he lost what would’ve already become lost with his death. Protecting one person shouldn’t influence the world at all.
There was no one irreplaceable.
That’s when he woke up in the past. All of his mechanical augmentations were gone, and he was summoned as the familiar to the daughter of a Northern Duke. A humanoid summoned creature that was to protect his new master.
The only problem was… his new Master was that very Saintess he had killed. The one who was the greatest thorn to the Emperor. A threat to the empire that he was loyal to.
The story is about a former lackey to the big bad slowly understanding the evils of the empire and why it needs to change. Remembering his former name and adapting to the new culture he’s seeing. Kinda like an Isekai but not one he is completely unfamiliar with.
I had this idea and wanted to see if there would be an audience for it. It isn’t strictly a Magical Girl story nor a romance. Early on, it’s planned to be more slice-of-life-ish since he needs to really understand what taste is and complex emotions.
Why is this a Power Ranger story? Because the magic world requires willpower, promises, and incantations to function. The Saintess Magical Girl is basically that. He’s just the second.
What do you guys think? Functional story? Please tell me if you noticed an inconsistency.
The protagonist is Legion #E942, a futuristic mecha combat model who was once a loyal soldier of a machine empire. Due to having a lot of his biological parts and a complete brain, he starts to waver after ‘killing’ with his sensations intact. Starting to doubt what he’d been told.
Due to gaining a conscience, he starts to feel remorse despite believing he was correct in killing the target known as ‘The Saintess’. Legion #E942 was ready to undergo a complete mental examination after he returned to purge the brainwashing the target must have left on him.
Before he could leave, he is hunted down and killed by the family of The Saintess. Their fury and resolve to avenge a now obsolete fleshling despite it having no logical advantage against the empire confused him. He started to doubt.
Even until his death, all he had was the confusion of why they cried for her death. It was irrational and foolish… but somehow heartbreaking at the same time. Memories of a distant past before losing his name had arose.
Was this a family? Why was he jealous?
Why did it seem like the girl was irreplaceable?
In the border between life and death, he is greeted by an unknown entity. A long-haired man dressed in an eastern aesthetic. The man asked if he wanted the answer to his question. If so, all he had to do was protect one person with his life.
Legion #E942 agreed to give up his power to satiate his curiosity. His life was over anyway. It didn’t matter if he lost what would’ve already become lost with his death. Protecting one person shouldn’t influence the world at all.
There was no one irreplaceable.
That’s when he woke up in the past. All of his mechanical augmentations were gone, and he was summoned as the familiar to the daughter of a Northern Duke. A humanoid summoned creature that was to protect his new master.
The only problem was… his new Master was that very Saintess he had killed. The one who was the greatest thorn to the Emperor. A threat to the empire that he was loyal to.
The story is about a former lackey to the big bad slowly understanding the evils of the empire and why it needs to change. Remembering his former name and adapting to the new culture he’s seeing. Kinda like an Isekai but not one he is completely unfamiliar with.
I had this idea and wanted to see if there would be an audience for it. It isn’t strictly a Magical Girl story nor a romance. Early on, it’s planned to be more slice-of-life-ish since he needs to really understand what taste is and complex emotions.
Why is this a Power Ranger story? Because the magic world requires willpower, promises, and incantations to function. The Saintess Magical Girl is basically that. He’s just the second.
What do you guys think? Functional story? Please tell me if you noticed an inconsistency.
.